just wondering...

what makes you drink? is it b/c you like the feeling of being drunk? is it to escape from problems? b/c it relaxes you? you like the taste? you have a problem and now cant stop?

i have to say yes to all of the above, and wondering about everyone else and how you got thru it, or if you havent, how you keep it in moderation, or why you feel a need not to stop at all...

looking forward to listening :)

When I was in school it was just to get drunk, party, and have a good time. At my worst it was to numb some of the pain that I was dealing with at that time.

Now, I don't need to drink just to have a good time. It's more of a casual thing on the weekends. I USED to think that every social event had to involve drinking but I've gotten out of that "stage".

I think my wake up call was when I got a dwi and totaled my car on a bridge!

There was a time when it was new and everyone was doing it.....then there was a time when I would drink socially and then that turned into drinking to keep up with everyone else. I haven't really drank in a couple of years, just this last saturday I had a couple glasses of red wine, a bag of flamin hot cheetos with it and watched "Collateral". Needless to say, sunday morning I couldn't get my tongue unstuck from the roof of my mouth........... :D

Ok, I am going to jump on this one. When i drink i drink to oblivion. Part of it is to escape, its a freedom, its a relaxer, it helps me sleep. So I guess i agree with all that you said.
I hardly ever drink with my daughter around. I do not drink in drive, if i am with someone who is drinking i will not drink & i will drive. Even at home I require that one person be sober in case anything happens.
I know its a problem, i drink to excess. I feel i have it under control. Alcoholism runs in my family. Alot of people in my drink. My dad was a severe alcoholic & so was my mom, but she sought treatment. She now has it under control, & so does her husband. My sister wont admit to having any problems with it though.
I want to set a good example for my daughter, because she too has that infected gene.
So i drink occasionaly, but way too much when i do.
There was one time when i woke up the next day i was still under the influence. :(
Now adays it is a rare freedom thing for me. My b/f is a drinker among other things & it is rare for him to not be drinking. You would think that after 3 dui's he would have learned his lesson by now. :eek:
Even now when i drink i will still drink to excess, that is where i have no control. I have control when to drink but not how much.
Hope this answers your question.

LOL I just answered your other thread about your 2 years being sober. :D

Well, why do I drink ?? Because I love it :D Actually, I don't drink till I'm drunk. Not on a daily basis. I only drink in the evening, I have one or two aperitifs, usually Ricard before my dinner, then I drink wine along with my dinner. My roomy is the best cook in Paris, and drinking water or sodas along with his exquisite "cuisine" would be an offense. :D We always drink some good red wines along with the dinner.

Now, when we go out with friends, I usually get drunk. I think it's a social thing ?? We all get drunk during a night out. I don't go to the point I'll puke everywhere, but I sometimes completely lose the reality of things. That's why I once called a disco security guy a ba***rd and ended up with a black eye !! :rolleye:

To sum it up, I guess I drink just because I like it, but I'm not addicted, I mean I don't need to be drunk everyday to feel happy or uninhibited.

I hope I answered your question. :)

Phil

Well, I too had to jump on this one, this is my first post and I can relate to all of this..I am a recovering alcoholic, who slipped, as they say. I drink to relax, I drink to 'feel good', I drink because I like to drink, I had some serious sobriety under my belt, but my life has done so many flip flops in the last 2 years, I could write a book.. Drinking has cause me nothing but grief, to many DUI's to many fights, lost jobs, you name it, so why am I 'chipping' again? Hell, who knows, I am finally where I want to be financially, good job, nice home, so I isolate on my days off and drink, wine, lots of wine..Do I know it's a no win situation? You betcha.. But I don't see it ending anytime soon.. It's like russin roulette for me..I haven't missed work, or paying a bill....yet........Thanks for this post, I needed to read all this... It's made me think...

mostly i drink to relax...i know my hubby doesnt really like the fact that i was "relaxing" on a regular bases and he got really worried for a bit...either way i promised him id slow it down and i have been doing good...i mean the weekends are hard so i try not to go out so much cause its tempting..i already have plans for this weekend to go to a bar with my sister (my drinking buddy) her husband works at a bar so its hard and whenever i go to her house (often) i cant get out with atleast a beer (its just there!!! and he makes good drinks!) So the taste too.. :) . I sit at work sometimes and i can taste the freaking alcohol and its like damn i need a drink...but i try to save it for the weekend now.

thank you all for your responses, i can relate to all of them on all different levels. whether social drinking, or going oout and partying and just geting enamored! i can relate.

dalesdeb ~ your post really hit home, b/c just like you, i am a functioing alcoholic. everything on time, resposible, take care of a family, but drunk. it is a very hard thing to explain, well besides to say that i am "normal" when i have a drinkin me, or 10. but girl, i just realized that it didnt have to be that way, and i wasnt normal like i thought. i feel much better, if you ever need to talk, pm me :)

I really had to think about this one.... I wanted to say I drink to relax or kick back and have a good time, but the reality of it is I like the taste. No lie, I drink until, well until I'm sick. I do not know my limitations and every weekend that I party hard, I always swear I'll never do it again, the next weekend comes along and I'm back at it. I like how I feel when I'm drunk, I love the attention I get, I know that's so horrible too, but I do! I try not to get drunk often since both of my parents are alcoholics but it's hard sometimes, really hard!

Well I am what they call a very light social drinker. I can't say I really like the taste and I certainly haven't gotten drunk in many, many years.

There was a time though after my divorce, I drank to excess. It numbed the pain and then I got into therapy (not alchol related), and it came up then, how much I was drinking. It was a divorce support group.

They told me that I could go into a bar and have a (one) drink and leave. Well, that was like a lightbulb. After that, I took their advice and did it. It was almost as if I needed permission to just have one drink. I didn't need to sit there for nine hours, seven days a week.

So now many years later, I will probably have four drinks in a month. I like a nice drink with a good meal or when I am visiting a girlfriend, we might have one or two.

I think I like the way it relaxes me. However, I must admit one will help me to sleep and if I drink anymore than that, it keeps me awake.

I am with Phil on this, a nice meal almost requires a good drink (for me anyway).

As a child, grandchild and great-grandchild of a long line of Irish, Scots, French drinkers I am happy that the word about a drink with a fine meal is "almost" and that millions who need to have figured out how to have a fine meal without an alcoholic drink.

I am sad to report that my father, who was dry (not sober - no program for recovery) for 4 years (this time) was tricked into drinking a non-alcoholic wine. His addiction was so severe that this one glass of non-alcoholic wine (turns out they are 1% alcohol) knocked him off the dry wagon and he ended up dying of complications of alcoholism.

When the courts ordered that I forfeit everything and move to the city my kid's dad had bought a house in to facilitate shared custody I did arrange in advance to have people on hand to drive me around and take care of me as I drowned the pain with alcohol that day. I was well aware I was using alcohol as an anethetic. That was 19 years ago. Prior to that I had been drunk a couple of times, but mostly I was the designated driver.

19 years ago I went into the program for the friends and families. So far I can drink or not and I don't get drunk anymore. I realize I am one drink away from the physical addiction and I watch for that. When I drink I generally have 1 glass, typically of red wine.

But, be it binge or functional drinking, the alcohol is but a symptom of the underlying disease ... the anesthetic for the emotional and spiritual pain. Today I treat those aspects of the disease because my life was impacted by fundamental misinformation from the alcoholic and his wife (my mother) who raised me. They didn't know any better ... cause their parents raised them with misinformation. They didn't know any better.... cause their parents... :)

Hope springs I am breaking the cycle. My kids are now adults and each has their own programs to develop their spiritual and emotional health .... the best antidote to the physical addictions.

i am speechless. wow.... thank you so much for sharing thatAs a child, grandchild and great-grandchild of a long line of Irish, Scots, French drinkers I am happy that the word about a drink with a fine meal is "almost" and that millions who need to have figured out how to have a fine meal without an alcoholic drink.

I am sad to report that my father, who was dry (not sober - no program for recovery) for 4 years (this time) was tricked into drinking a non-alcoholic wine. His addiction was so severe that this one glass of non-alcoholic wine (turns out they are 1% alcohol) knocked him off the dry wagon and he ended up dying of complications of alcoholism.

When the courts ordered that I forfeit everything and move to the city my kid's dad had bought a house in to facilitate shared custody I did arrange in advance to have people on hand to drive me around and take care of me as I drowned the pain with alcohol that day. I was well aware I was using alcohol as an anethetic. That was 19 years ago. Prior to that I had been drunk a couple of times, but mostly I was the designated driver.

19 years ago I went into the program for the friends and families. So far I can drink or not and I don't get drunk anymore. I realize I am one drink away from the physical addiction and I watch for that. When I drink I generally have 1 glass, typically of red wine.

But, be it binge or functional drinking, the alcohol is but a symptom of the underlying disease ... the anesthetic for the emotional and spiritual pain. Today I treat those aspects of the disease because my life was impacted by fundamental misinformation from the alcoholic and his wife (my mother) who raised me. They didn't know any better ... cause their parents raised them with misinformation. They didn't know any better.... cause their parents... :)

Hope springs I am breaking the cycle. My kids are now adults and each has their own programs to develop their spiritual and emotional health .... the best antidote to the physical addictions.

Well I used to drink because my husband is an alcoholic. I drank to be closer with him and to get "along". Well since drinking and driving killed his best friend (my husband was the driver) he hasn't touched a drop of alcohol. Every now and then I have a craving for a beer. I had a couple while he was locked up but haven't had one since he has been out. We realized there isn't a need for it like we thought. Like someone else said "you can have fun with out it".

Please remember that there's a mega difference between "drinking" and getting "drunk".

yes i do know the difference...i am all to aware of it. i wanted everyones opinions on how they dealt with all of it.Please remember that there's a mega difference between "drinking" and getting "drunk".

just wondering...

what makes you drink? is it b/c you like the feeling of being drunk? is it to escape from problems? b/c it relaxes you? you like the taste? you have a problem and now cant stop?

i have to say yes to all of the above, and wondering about everyone else and how you got thru it, or if you havent, how you keep it in moderation, or why you feel a need not to stop at all...

looking forward to listening :)

Ashtynn,
As you know because we have talked about this a bit before...I have to agree with you and say "all of the above".
I do go through phases where I just dont feel like drinking at all, for some reason the appeal is not there, but then usually sooner or later its like something hits me and i realize "Oh, Wow! it's been _ days since I've had a drink! I better go to the bar!!"
I could go on and on about all the stupid things I've done because of drinking, but I'm sure we all have those stories, so I'll spare you.
I guess I'm "lucky" because I usually have been able to realize when I am getting TOO out of control and have put my own stop to things, but I have to wonder if I will always be that lucky.
I know drinking isnt a solution, or a fix to any problem, but I'll be the first to admit, that sometimes it's the easiest way to forget or numb things.
Thanks for starting this thread...it's a good "thinker" :)
Love,
April

"Oh, Wow! it's been _ days since I've had a drink! I better go to the bar!!" by JustApril

Crazy but you know I have siad that same exact quote to myself a million times!!! its like "damn i havent drank in __ days I really need a drink" ... sometimes I am broke and I still somehow find the funds to drink...I really am glad I have been able to slow it down a lot...back in the days when I was really into smoking out (i mean like every hour even during school) I eventually got myself over it and quite ..but its so hard not to have a drink.. its just yumm..and after a while you dont care if its horrible it all taste the same.

Good thread Em ~

Up until Adam left, we partied all the time. We went out with friends or just stayed in drinking by ourselves. Something about alcohol, it loosens you up, you relax, say things you would normally be too reserved to say and/or do. We just had A LOT of fun drunk. Many, many good times.
:rolleyes:
But ever since he's been gone, I haven't felt like "having fun". Whether I feel guilty having fun without him or whether it's just not my frame of mind right now I don't know, but I haven't been drinking too much these days.

One thing about me and alcohol, I can't ever "have just one". If I have one inevitably I'm gonna have five or six. I just can't stop once I've started.
:cool:

One thing about me and alcohol, I can't ever "have just one". If I have one inevitably I'm gonna have five or six. I just can't stop once I've started.
:cool:me neither :( i hate that part

eve ~ oh my goodness you had a habit there ;) glad you are doing better :)

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor ... that about sums it up (but of course it'll take me more than four ;o)
I guess I just figure if I'm not gonna feel the effects, what's the point!?
That's also why I try not to drink on a full stomach.
:beer:

well I am not addicted to drinking I usually just drink when I go out with the girls or I will have some beers with my mom or John's grandma I like to drink when I am out with people but I don't drink all the time sometimes I do get a little wild but I can control it a little better now that I am a little older :)

A few years back I thought that having fun included alcohol. I had a drink in my hand almost every night and once the weekends came that was all we would do. Get drunk and party. Then I got with my ex. My ex-boyfriend is a alcoholic in denial. He knows he drinks too much and he knows that the problems and stressed he has he brings on himself from drinking but still drinks. That is why we broke up. I hated the person he became when he started drinking and I hated the person he became when he got drunk, which was 95% of the time if he started drinking. So I quit drinking just because I associated the alcohol with his behavior and I hated everything about alcohol. Now he has been sober for about 6 months and he is my best friend. I still get nervous when I go with him to family functions (his ENTIRE family drinks and drinks way too much) and I still get nervous when he goes through stessful situations but I am proud of him. I can now finally go out with my friends and have a drink without getting that weird nervous feeling when the alcohol is served, but my drinking now is very rare.

I drink, and I know my limits. I don't drink everyday, but I do go out every week with my girlfriends and have some drinks. There is a line for me, between drinking and drinking irresponsibly. I don't need to drink to have fun. If I drink, I don't drive, don't ride with people who have been drinking, and I take full responsibility for my actions. But with that said, I drink because I have fun when I am out with my friends drinking, and having a good time.

In my oppinion, I don't see it as a thing that only young people get into. My aunt is 45 and she still has close girlfriends, and they still go out and drink and have a good time together on occasions, and she is a married woman, a christian, and has 2 children. It is perfectly normal in the lives of a lot of healthy, happy families. A lot of people drink for a lot of different reasons. My reason is because its a part of my personality. I love going out, and I love being around my friends, and just having FUN.

We do other things too, it's not that we just go out and party. We can just have a girls night and sit around in PJ's watching sad romance movies all night too. I'm just all about making any and every situation fun. And well, drinking is fun. =-D

Well, if you do choose to drink, please be careful. I have lost loved ones from drinking & driving, and binge drinking. I pray that nothing bad ever happens to any of you!

~Krystal

Well I drink just about every weekend.. I go out with my friends on fridays and saturdays and we drink.. Sometimes I get drunk, sometimes I don't.. I never drink during the week or while my daughter is around.. I don't know why I do it, usually to party and have fun.. I do know my limits, I don't always follow them.. Sometimes I think to myself I drink too much, but I always go out the next weekend... there are times I won't drink at all.. and thanks to working on weekends now, I don't drink as much... I think it's a social thing for me..

Very good question for me tonight! I don't drink very often nor very much. I was married to an abusive alcoholic/drug addict for 22 years. He was very mean and his drinking brought a lot of pain to our lives. I am also from a family of many alcoholics and but for the grace of God I am not an alcoholic. So I am just very cautious. A counselor once explained to me coming from a family with alcohol problems, you might not have any problem drinking and then at any time in your life it can just be triggered. I didn't know that; I thought being well into adulthood if you didn't have that problem you just would never have that problem. Well, that having been said, this week I have flu-like symptoms but I also have a "hot potato throat" that actually feels like there is a hot baked potato in my throat. My uvula is swollen (little red thing that hangs down in back of throat) and my voice is gone - WAH-WAH!!! I am on antibiotics but it hurts way too much. Anything cold helps. I am taking pain pills this week, which is very rare, but that is how much it hurts! So, this week I want cold drinks with alcohol to help numb the physical pain. It is helping and since I am not leaving the house I have given myself permission to mix the two (pain med + alcohol). Since I don't drink often I find one big peach schnapps and red Hawaiin Punch with two Vicodin takes the edge off the pain and helps me to sleep. Hopefully by tomorrow the antibiotics will have kicked in and I can just go back to aspirin, as this is very unusual to drink alcohol especially when I am sick. I know for some people it is a daily struggle, but we are all human and all we can do is try each and every day to be the best person we can. I am very proud of my ex-husband. He has been in treatment over the last year, is going to A.A. and is living a sober life. He struggles and has relapsed a few times but he gets up and tries every day and for now it is working. I pray that he will be able to find the peace of mind and happiness that he is working so hard for.

I rarely drink anymore but when I used to be a real party animal I drank to loosen up and be outgoing and crazy fun which is normally unlike me as I'm pretty reserved and quite most of the time

I Actually Slowed Down, My Birdy Didn't Like The Fact That I Would Go Out With My Friends And Party, That Would Really Upset Him, Also The Fact That My Friends Did More Than Just Drink, That Made Matters Worse. I Have Actually Stopped Hanging Out With My Old Friends, Its Been More Than A Year Now, So Now When I Drink Its Just A Few, Usually Here At Home By Myself, Helps Me Relax And Forget.

What a great topic, I got in from work a little while ago, I found myself thinking about this a good part of the night at work. After reading all the posts I can so relate to so many of what everyone said. I know when my guy went back, I would like to say the alcohol eased the pain but thats a lie, cause all i did was get hmmered and cry. I also know that my drinking is only a symtom of what is going on with me, I guess I'm just not ready to face the pain..It's been a daily struggle since he went back.. I guess the accepting that the last 7 years were for nothing..The anger at him and more so myself for wearing blinders when he was home..Well, I can honestly say I came right home after work and didn't stop at the store and i wanted to but knowing that it never has and never will solve anything, got me home, sober..Plus I won't be sick tomorrow, someone said something about there tongue being stuck to the roof of there mouth.. LOL That's funny, and so true..Hangovers are a bigh part of my drinking, simply because one is to many and a 100 is not enough.. But reading all this helped me to be able to sleep normally tonight and for that I am extremely thankful, for all of you..Only got to do this one day at a time huh? Bless you all...

"why do you have the urge to go out and get drunk/drink a lot". I don't really drink either (maybe once every few months but never get drunk...i'm scared for some reason...), so there is no direct answer for me. I think the people who do drink relate well to this question- as there are so many responses and thoughts on this issue.

Thank you Phil for the reminder :)

As for me & drinking..... An x and I used to drink a 1/2 gallon of vodka EVERY day for almost a year. I stopped drinking so much when we ended our relation'sip'. I now only drink about twice a month and only about a pint when I do. I have to watch myself because if I don't 'pace' myself, I'll drink too fast and want more.
I'm not mean when I drink, like some people get. I don't like to fight but I will if it becomes necessary. At the most, I'm happy & giddy and play pool better w/ a buzz. If I drink by myself (RARE), I tend to get a little emotional cuz I listen to music, sing, write, etc. The lonliness seems to creep in more when I think about him and I'm drinking solo.
I don't drink around my kids much anymore. I usually wait til their in bed or they're at their dad's for the weekend.
Jenn

oh i had tears in my eyes reading this :o that is great! and yes, one day at a time, i got thru my second night last night (which was much harder than the forst night by the way) but i did it and here i sit at owrk, another day down :) you can do it girl, and i hope you keep coming back to pto to update us and for support!! ~much love~What a great topic, I got in from work a little while ago, I found myself thinking about this a good part of the night at work. After reading all the posts I can so relate to so many of what everyone said. I know when my guy went back, I would like to say the alcohol eased the pain but thats a lie, cause all i did was get hmmered and cry. I also know that my drinking is only a symtom of what is going on with me, I guess I'm just not ready to face the pain..It's been a daily struggle since he went back.. I guess the accepting that the last 7 years were for nothing..The anger at him and more so myself for wearing blinders when he was home..Well, I can honestly say I came right home after work and didn't stop at the store and i wanted to but knowing that it never has and never will solve anything, got me home, sober..Plus I won't be sick tomorrow, someone said something about there tongue being stuck to the roof of there mouth.. LOL That's funny, and so true..Hangovers are a bigh part of my drinking, simply because one is to many and a 100 is not enough.. But reading all this helped me to be able to sleep normally tonight and for that I am extremely thankful, for all of you..Only got to do this one day at a time huh? Bless you all...

This is a wonderful thread and I've gained a lot from the comments. I'm a grateful alcoholic with almost a year in recovery, the best year in a long time for me. To answer your question: I drank because I could get away with it, or thought I could. Working flexible hours, home alone a lot of the time, frustrated with everything going wrong in my life (not realizing it was the alcohol that was causing the problems in the first place) ... any excuse i could think of except the obvious one: that I'm an alcoholic. Once I accepted that (with the aid of treatment and jail, and anctions at work that still burn my resentful ass), I recognized that survival for me required never taking the first drink. What I've received in return has been much more than survival; it's been a lie I could never have dreamed of. Not that every day is a delight, but m worst day sober has truly been loads better than my best day when drinking. It's a total reversal of the way things were. Anyone worried about being an alcoholic is free to PM me; and best wishes to all from a non-judgmental sober alcoholic! Ralph

When I drink, I drink to feel the effects of the beer. But I end up getting to drunk. Because once I get that first few beers, I gotta have more, and more, and more. I have to admit I love the feeling :) . But I have to quit, and have started, and done good so far !Good luck Peace :)

I drink for these reasons and these reasons only,... I want to change how i feel/hide how i feel. I drink to numb my feelings, my thoughts/problems. I drink to forget and to put things i can't deal with right now, on hold. I drink to not feel anything, most of the time. Thanks for sharing and asking a really good question. I wish i didn't need to. I wish i didn't want to and i widh i didn't like it. I wish more than anything, i could start my life over and never get started on drinking. But, i know it isn't too late for me. It's takes so much courage and strength to help myself. Is all i can do, is try, try and keep trying. I believe i can do it, quit drinking that is. But, will I? That's what scares me the most. Thanks for letting me share here.
Love, Sheila :o

Hi Ashtynn,

Since my husband went back in almost six months ago and since I have filed for divorce, not only have I been going out every weekend...I like to keep bacardi and diet coke in the house(carbfree) and find myself making "slushies" because I "feel" lonely, sad, annoyed depressed etc. I have only recently noticed that I have been reaching for the Bacardi and dietcoke like nothing. Definitely like the carefree, tipsy feeling and I don't feel like I am coming out of my skin.

Well I have a weakness when it comes to drinking, especially when there is a pattern. I'm with a new boyfriend now, and he's a drinker....so I've started drinking again, to be with him and feel relaxed and uninhibited, but I hate depending on the alcohol to give me that, but I can't say no or stop when my boyfriend asks if I want another....I feel crappy that I have compromised my beliefs about drinking. I always believed that I want to handle life on my own without being under the influence....but here I am, looking for acceptance and being trapped under the drinking. I see my boyfriend everyweekend....and the drinking goes all weekend, now I don't try to keep up any more....but it's a small step...I have to let him know how I feel about drinking...and another concern I have is....I don't know what my boyfriend is like sober....Do I want to give in to the pressure of drinking and be with a man when I don't really know what he is like sober?...It bothers me, that no matter what we are doing, he has to have a drink...I mentioned to him...if he was ashamed of me, because he can't look at me or do anything with me sober, he has to have a drink....?...He told me no, that he isn't ashamed of me....but I need to listen to myself, as I'm not happy drinking every weekend. I don't mind a drink with a meal...or after supper...but not as a routine, not as an expectation.
So I'm going to be mentioning it to him this weekend actually probably before, as he picks me up, we go grocery shopping then to the liquor store...it's a routine. I have accepted it...but now, I don't want it anymore...but if it is poured for me...I'll drink it. I hate to say it but I feel powerless.

I used to drink as a social thing. I got divorced and it was the best day in my life. I met some really great new friends and we went out often, it was so different from when I was married. Gwyn and I became insepperable. We were best friends. We used to have such a lot of fun, and we partied hard and we drank hard, we were weekend drinkers, until it killed her. We went out one night and some really stupid person spiked our drinks. We both started to throw up, and when we got to the hospital, it was already too late for Gwyn. She was really small and the amount of drug given to here was fatal. I only just survived the ordeal and the person who did this was never found. Her two kids had already lost their dad, and then they lost their mom too. Since then I have never had another drink, if i go out I drink out the bottle if i can and always take it with me.

i drink to forget about my problems and whatever bad things are happening.

Keltria I am so sadden to hear of your friend! that is horrible!

I drink, well because I actually do enjoy the taste~ except for Tequila. I like the warm, fuzzy Tequila buzz. which that within itself is pretty sad... I am not exactly an angel, altho I am far from truly associating myself with my habits (addictions some would say.)

maybe that within itself is a testament to how bad these things can be, however I choose to distance myself from my habits and instead leave those at the bar (where I work) and be clean as a whistle at home with my kids.

For about 18 years I went through periods of time whre I would drink very heavy and then I would stop and not drink at all or drink very little and very rarely. I always thought it was not really connected to anything other than my lifestyle at the time. 2 years ago I was diagnosed with Bi polar disorder and after going over my history in detail with my family and my doctors it appears that I was using the drinking to self medicate during manic episodes to try and bring myself down so I could sleep a few hours at night and continue to function somewhat. Now that I take appropriate medication to balance the chemicals I don't drink at all anymore.

My father is a recovering alcoholic. He has been clean for 7 years on May 18, 2005. It's not just about feeling good or tasting good. It is a disease, one that can kill you. And it should be taken seriously.