Welcome!

Several members asked for a forum of this type and here it is! Are you wondering "why is Mrs. D a Moderator for this forum? She's happily married."

Well my husband is not my first prison(er) relationship. My ex/bf abandoned me to drugs the very day he got out of prison. I've been in the very shoes that many of you are walking in now. Fortunately for ME, it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me! Because of him, I was able to meet the love of my life and move on.

It wasn't easy. I spent months having a big ole pity party, barely even making it to work each day. The final straw came when my daugher scratched "I want to die" in her arm because of all the broken promises from my ex. I had to force myself to get myself together and move forward.

But there's no reason for any of you to feel so alone and hurt! Many in your shoes feel there is no real place for you here on PTO anymore. Well this forum changes all of that!

Here's to Healthy Healing and Moving Forward!

mrsd

Mrs. D and the rest of the staff this is a wonderful idea and so well needed I believe!

Good idea seeing I have been through two bad prison relationships! One ended back in 1986 and the other as recent as last December (2004).

We are here to help in whatever way we can :) This forum offers a new home for those that are no longer in the relationship. It will offer much needed support for those who feel they can find no support in the outside world. It's tough enough to get support once you are in the relationship, it much worse when the relationship ends :( We want all that find themselves in this situation to know, we still value your opinions and your friendship.

Stacy

This forum is much needed and I am glad to be here with you wonderful guys. I know that this is a hard time for us that are going through that break up or have just gotten over it. That is what we are here for, to support each other during this difficult time. I know that each and everyone of us is super strong and can get through anything :D

I am so glad this forum was started. I have a new home to come to. It just didnt seem right to go to the husbands and boyfriends forum when we broke up. Thanks ladies I really apprecaite it.

I really like this - thanks everyone!

This forum couldn't have shown up at any better of a time! I'm so glad that it's here! :)

hi i havent posted in a long time but this a great forum. I have read a lot of the posts and they have helped me thru my pain thanks

Welcome everyone.This forum has helped me a lot being able to talk about it with others who are going through the same thing or have gone through the same thing in the past.It is very tough to deal with but having a place to vent and talk about it is really very healthy I think.
If you haven't already find the member introduction thread and post your story if you would like to

HUGS to you all

I am so glad this forum was started. I have a new home to come to. Yes you do! And I'm so glad you view it like that! :)

Stacy

I want to say thank you for starting this forum.. I'm not in as much pain over my break as some. But we can help each other out!!!

:o :o HI....
l have just joined prison talk and have got alot out of it so far..........it was good to come across this thread.........l am in the healing process of the break up from my ex whom l supported for 6 years before he went to prison, and thru his prison sentence. When he was released l did not see him for 2 weeks as he had chosen the drugs and fast life instead of me and our son....thank god it is the best for me and our son that we dont have anything to do with anymore..........but it still hurts from time to time.........not so much for me but l grieve for my son and his loss........l do know it is in the best interest for my sons welfare and safety not to have anything with his father but sometimes l wish that my son could of had as normal as u can be Daddy............ anyway .....lm looking forward to sharing stories and supporting one another..........regards
VIXXY XXXXX;) ;)

Hi all i don't know if anyone has ever experienced this but yesterday i recieved mail from what i thought was my man. Then i read the letter it was actually to his ex girlfriend he spoke in it just as he speaks to me. Telling me "Daddy" is getting out soon and saying stuff i thought he only spoke to me asking if she was still there and that she better keep all the stuff he's been sending her...I'm the one who's been supporting him money wise and i thought i was his one and only. I just wrote him back and told him the jig is up and to send me all my pictures i sent a copy of the letter he mailed to me. I'm wondering if he did it on purpose or was it truely a mistake. either way my heart is broken big time. he gets out in less then 45 days and said to her "i'll be home soon to my baby" same line he used with me.
This just really hurts and i have never trusted anyone like i trusted him so i don't think i will ever become involved with an inmate again. and it will take awhile to mend my broken heart. I just wanted to vent.
you all have a great year mine started out really bad.
thanks for listening

Well i went to visit him for the first time this past weekend and let him explain himself. long story short he proved to me that the co's traded our letters and his ex got my letter and i got hers. he was trying to see if she was dating or not and keep her happy so he could see his baby she just had. needless to say we made up and things are going great. Thanks for letting me vent i needed it at the time as i have no support besides him. good luck to those that are having the trouble i had to go through
thanks again

excuse me for asking, but in the letter to his ex he said...."you better keep all the stuff i send you"......what stuff was he sending her? did you ask him? are you Ok with his answer? i truly hope he is for real. i had something similar happen when my baby was first locked up and still in county. i was at the house of one of his friends (a female) and she said...."oh, i got a letter from xxx!" and she showed it to me. but first let me say that i was the one that asked her to write to him, so it's not like he was doing anything wrong by sending her a letter. he starts out saying "hi sweetheart...." well, maybe he just meant that as a term of endearment. and he also said something about..."whispering in her ear.....". it was by no means a love letter, but i thougt it was way too personal. then inclosed in the letter was an insert little card that said something like....."sleep well.....everything is under control...." it was the same little insert card i had sent Him! i did not say anything to her except ..."oh, what a sweetheart".....but i did bitch at him for the tone of the letter. this happened a year and a half ago, and i let it go. he gets out in another year (or two, or three...) i do love him with everything that i have, but sometimes i wonder how he will be when it's all over......i wish you all the best!!!

Well i went to visit him for the first time this past weekend and let him explain himself. long story short he proved to me that the co's traded our letters and his ex got my letter and i got hers. he was trying to see if she was dating or not and keep her happy so he could see his baby she just had. needless to say we made up and things are going great. Thanks for letting me vent i needed it at the time as i have no support besides him. good luck to those that are having the trouble i had to go through
thanks again
Awww Girl I hope you are right about all of the above but I sense a man that sweet talked his way out of being busted and covered his azz well. Lord knows I am wrong about a lot of this things and hopefully this is one of those things. One thing I do know being old and having had LOTS of experience with men, you can see it with your on eyes but if your in love your heart wants to believe it aint so and if hes saying it aint so then you believe cause its easier.

I got a letter intended for another woman from my man also. We had deep & meaningful relationship & were sooooo happy! Then last week I got a letter from him. He wrote "I (heart) u" before my name when he addressed the envelope. Needless to say, I was all smiles! It always made me happy to hear from him, but I went from cloud 9 to I can't f'in believe this in 2.2! Her letter, like yours said a lot of the same things he had said to me - that made me sick! It's a tough blow to take, but whether he was careless or the COs swicthed the letters is irrelevant. He was starting a relationship w/another woman, while in an exclusive relationship w/me. He cannot talk his way outta that one! (it's his handwriting!) My heart hurts, but I still cannot deny the facts that are right in front of me. In my case it's a lil hurt now, or a lotta hurt later :(

Only you know about your relationship - I hope you're right about your guy! Good luck!

I am seeing too many of these mixed up letters in the threads to think it is a coincidence myself. I think who ever is reading the letters are doing it and I say GOOD! Their reasoning may not be to help the poor deceived women but to get the MAN into hot water or make him miserable but regardless it is helping the women. They are getting a chance to see what is going on. I bet they see it quite often in the prison mail. 2 or more letters from an inmate going to females and hes professing his need and devotion to each. I am sorry but I think I would be tempted to do the same darn thing. Now as to your man's sincerity.....well that it totally up to you to decide. You know him and I don't. But I do believe you ought to take it all nice and slow and be careful with your heart woman. It's your heart. Guard it carefully. JMHO

Well ladies i appriciate the concern i am watchin him closely and his mom introduceds us and knows the girl he was writing...(she has her grandchild now) so she is keeping me updated on weather he is or has written her and so far he hasn't..(his mom doesn't want them togeather at all) so i can trust her to tell me the truth...and my man has again and again said he is sorry and won't ever write her again. but i am keeping my heart locked up still for now.
so thank you for all your feedback

Welcome ladies to the forum,I am sorry you have to be in this forum but want you to know you are not alone,we are all in the same boat and we are all here for you and eachother

Masquaraid, wishing you two all the best

Thank you that means alot to me to have this support. I don't know where else i would of turned without you ladies.
Thanks again!

I'm sorry, sweetie, but that answer just doesn't cut it. He doesn't have to pretend to be with her in order to see the baby - it's his right. and why does he care if she's dating? And she's sending him stuff!

I feel like you were given a chance to see what is really up and aren't taking advantage of it.

His mother has no way to know if they write each other or not. I think you don't want to see the reality....

Unbroken one, I agree with you, this is n coincidence! Whoever is going through the mail is playing a little haha on the inmates or out for the best interests of the women, either way it's obviously happening on purpose sometimes.

I love it! I wouldn't want to be cheated on or used, but I'd appreciate the heads up if I were!

I'm sorry, sweetie, but that answer just doesn't cut it. He doesn't have to pretend to be with her in order to see the baby - it's his right. and why does he care if she's dating? And she's sending him stuff!

I feel like you were given a chance to see what is really up and aren't taking advantage of it.

His mother has no way to know if they write each other or not. I think you don't want to see the reality....

Unbroken one, I agree with you, this is n coincidence! Whoever is going through the mail is playing a little haha on the inmates or out for the best interests of the women, either way it's obviously happening on purpose sometimes.

I love it! I wouldn't want to be cheated on or used, but I'd appreciate the heads up if I were!
I agree and so far we worked it out...he has alot of work to do to get us anywhere near to where we were and i am taking our relationship really slowly....i have cut off his money big time i wasn't really sending that much anyway but he lost that so we'll see how he does he gets out soon that's why i am not gettin my heart too involved again becouse i can't take the break again. and he sent drawings of his son he did from a pic she sent to him that's what he was refering to as is she keeping the stuff he sent she didn't and hasn't sent him anything. (that i know of but i'll keep ya posted) Thank you all for helping me to keep my eyes open and heart caged it's really hard when their behind bars and you can't see what there doing behind your back as easily and he even agreed it was the guards that switched the mail.

You can't keep tabs on a man outside either.....good luck, I hope things go your way.

I know but i am trying to learn to trust him again and i can kinda keep better tabs on him outside then i can inside...you can't hire a private investigator to check him out on the inside but you can on the out that was all i ment. I know i can't be with him 24/7 and i wouldn't want to not trust him but hopefully (fingers crossed) he really means what he says time will only tell

Hi, I am Diane...I was just dismissed by someone who I thought really had strong feelings for me. In his charming words and at first all of his attention...I felll in love...But his attention turned into begging for money, nude photos and well it was clear to me that he wasnt really reading my letters anymore because he never answered my questions anymore....Yesterday I got the letter....He said he didnt want me to write to him anymore and that I never did anything for him except make his life more miserable. He said when he gets out he might holla at me, but I think he wrote that to keep the door open alittle...This all happened because he caught a drug charge and I was worried. I called his sister and I accidently spilled the beans. She didnt know anything and now she is mad at him. So he in turn lashed out at me. He also gave my name, address, and age to another inmate who sent me a letter along with his breakup letter. I am hurt that he would just toss me over to someone else like I was nothing. Unfortunately, he is starting Ad-Seg for drugs, and I think when I dont write to him, he will eventually write to me, because I wrote to him almost everyday and he is going to miss me, I know that. I am 43 y/o and I am so lonely, that is why I had this friendship, to ease my loneliness and hopefully find a friend who would come home to me. But he lied so many times and now his lies caught up to him and that is why he is mad at me. He had the nerve to tell me to grow up. I put all of his letters away and his pics too. If he writes to me I dont want to answer, but I want to know what he has to say. I wont write him though, I have a tiny bit of pride left and I'll be darned if I will beg a man to come back to me. Oh well that is it for me here. I feel alittle better now.

Welcome!

Several members asked for a forum of this type and here it is! Are you wondering "why is Mrs. D a Moderator for this forum? She's happily married."

Well my husband is not my first prison(er) relationship. My ex/bf abandoned me to drugs the very day he got out of prison. I've been in the very shoes that many of you are walking in now. Fortunately for ME, it was the best thing that could have ever happened to me! Because of him, I was able to meet the love of my life and move on.

It wasn't easy. I spent months having a big ole pity party, barely even making it to work each day. The final straw came when my daugher scratched "I want to die" in her arm because of all the broken promises from my ex. I had to force myself to get myself together and move forward.

But there's no reason for any of you to feel so alone and hurt! Many in your shoes feel there is no real place for you here on PTO anymore. Well this forum changes all of that!

Here's to Healthy Healing and Moving Forward!

mrsd
what if you just can't move on my husband divorced me while he was in prison he's still in but i still love him and can't move on without him