lunachild
03-20-2005, 06:32 PM
I just heard today that he is still around here somewhere. He has been seen several times in a small diner about 1/2 mile up the road. The one waitress knows my boys and recognized him. He was with a really tall woman with black curly hair. And could barely stand.
I had to get out of here. I thought I was suffocating. I was hoping he was gone somewhere. I was so upset, thinking he is living with this other girl, right under my nose. (I live in a VERY small town, I grew up with all these people, and anything within 10 miles is right under your nose). I am just so hurting right now. I left to go to a friends house and by the time I got there I was crying so hard I turned around and went to Jason's moms'. She heard my truck pull up and came out with the phone in her hand and said she was just going to call me. I talked to her for 2 hours.
She said he is getting sloppy. She said he must be into it deep. And she said no one is helping him anymore. He's a hot commodity and no one wants the trouble. He is probably already looking for the next one to move on to. Women are his forte. I am the only one that wouldn't follow him around like a puppy. She said to not worry, he won't come here. She said he knows your calling his PO and he won't come around you. He knows you gave everything away and burned the rest, he won't be back. She can tell me every move he is going to make and every word he is going to say. She always makes me feel better and good about myself.
She said it is him and not you. He is the heroin addict living with a s**t, and your a good person who did everything out of the kindness of your heart. Don't worry about it. God sees what is right. And who gives a s**t what other people think? You live way out by yourself and don't even have to deal with these people. The ones who matter know the truth. Just move on with your life and slowly it will all go away.
I went to my friends house and he said, "F**K him, you didn't need that a**hole!"
I know he is gone, and I can accept that and I have, I have learned a lesson in heroin addiction: I love him and I know I always will but I can't fight this: I have even accepted the fact that he might die: but the hurt I still have to deal with.
This whole thing has taught me how much I can love, how much strength I really have, that the beauty on the inside is worth more than the outside, that I am a woman who can take care of herself and isn't going to put up with anymore men treating her like s**t. My future is looking amazing and I know God is taking care of us. He has given me some wonderful gifts of friends known and unknown that have kept me on the right path(Maybe he just got tired of my wandering around all over without a clue;).
I really think I am going to make it through this. I love you guys :D
I had to get out of here. I thought I was suffocating. I was hoping he was gone somewhere. I was so upset, thinking he is living with this other girl, right under my nose. (I live in a VERY small town, I grew up with all these people, and anything within 10 miles is right under your nose). I am just so hurting right now. I left to go to a friends house and by the time I got there I was crying so hard I turned around and went to Jason's moms'. She heard my truck pull up and came out with the phone in her hand and said she was just going to call me. I talked to her for 2 hours.
She said he is getting sloppy. She said he must be into it deep. And she said no one is helping him anymore. He's a hot commodity and no one wants the trouble. He is probably already looking for the next one to move on to. Women are his forte. I am the only one that wouldn't follow him around like a puppy. She said to not worry, he won't come here. She said he knows your calling his PO and he won't come around you. He knows you gave everything away and burned the rest, he won't be back. She can tell me every move he is going to make and every word he is going to say. She always makes me feel better and good about myself.
She said it is him and not you. He is the heroin addict living with a s**t, and your a good person who did everything out of the kindness of your heart. Don't worry about it. God sees what is right. And who gives a s**t what other people think? You live way out by yourself and don't even have to deal with these people. The ones who matter know the truth. Just move on with your life and slowly it will all go away.
I went to my friends house and he said, "F**K him, you didn't need that a**hole!"
I know he is gone, and I can accept that and I have, I have learned a lesson in heroin addiction: I love him and I know I always will but I can't fight this: I have even accepted the fact that he might die: but the hurt I still have to deal with.
This whole thing has taught me how much I can love, how much strength I really have, that the beauty on the inside is worth more than the outside, that I am a woman who can take care of herself and isn't going to put up with anymore men treating her like s**t. My future is looking amazing and I know God is taking care of us. He has given me some wonderful gifts of friends known and unknown that have kept me on the right path(Maybe he just got tired of my wandering around all over without a clue;).
I really think I am going to make it through this. I love you guys :D