Hello everyone:
I am new here just joined today. I am a mother whose son was just sentenced last Thurs. He is only 19 and has never been in any type of major trouble until now.
I have been searching the web for a support group and I think I have found a great one.
Let me tell you about my son...He is 19 but is developmentally delayed he operates on about a 12 year old level, he is lower funcitoning and he also is bi-polar. I am so scared for him. I feel so helpless because I have spent his whole life protecting him and he is "soft" and I did not prepare him for this because I was led to believe through a plea bargain that he would "most Likely" get probation with this being his first offense. Yea, right. He is still in the county awaiting transport and he cries constantly. I know this cannot be a good thing to show his emotions like he does when he gets to prison. I am SO scared, is there anything I should tell him to help prepare him before they ship him he can still call me but I guess when he gets there he cannot make calls for awhile. I have to go and get ready for work but I will be an active member here and hope in time to be able to be supportive of you all but right now the hurt is so raw I cannot help myself let alone anyone else. Thanks for listening.
Susan

Susan, I am so glad you found this place. Just hang on to the strength that is in this group. There is so much experience and knowledge here that if you need any help, all you have to do is ask.

Welcome and I look forward to reading your posts.

Joy

Susan...
Wanted to say welcome to PTO... I am glad you found us. I do understand your concern for your son.
I used to work in a prison, and if it is any consolation, you should know that from what I saw, there probably will be some inmates that will try to take advantage of your son because of his delay, but there WILL be other inmates who will recognize that he can't take care of himself and will be there to look out for him! Remember, that not all these guys in prison are all bad.... Your son will be in my thoughts and prayers....
Peace......

SUSAN:

GOD BLESS YOU AND KEEP YOU AND YOUR SON.... JUST RESMEMBER WHAT JD SAYS, THERE WILL BE GUYS IN PRISON WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR SON... 70% OF THE MEN THERE ARE NOT BAD PEOPLE. THEY HAVE JUST MADE MISTAKES...... TELL YOU SON TO BE HIMSELF AND TO FIND SOMEONE WHO HE CAN TELL IS A CARING PERSON TO BECOME THEIR FRIEND.

ALSO, INSURE YOU TALK WITH THE PROGRAMERS IN THE UNIT THAT HE WILL BE TRANSFERRED TO. EXPLAIN HIS SITUATION TO THEM AND THEY CAN DO SOME THINGS TO HELP HIM.

MY SON HAS BEEN IN PRISON SINCE HE WAS 24 YEARS OLD AND I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL. I DO KNOW THAT BUTCH WOULD BEFRIEND YOU SON IF HE WERE IN A UNIT WITH HIM AND I KNOW THAT THERE ARE OTHERS WHO WILL PROTECT HIM TOO.

MY LOVE AND PRAYERS TO YOU
DONNA

Susan,
Welcome to PTO. I am sorry you are in the position that you are in but you can be sure we will all do what we can to help you. We have a forum here called mental health that was just opened that may be of some interest to you as time goes by, though I don't know how much it may actually apply to your son.
If I had to give any word of advice for him it is to try and keep to his self for the most part when he gets to a new institution. Don't open up to anyone too quickly. Just get a feel for his surrounding and the people that are around. There are a lot of guys in there that will go the extra mile to help him, but there are also people who will want to take advantage of him. Keeping to ones self and paying attention usually will let you figure out who-is-who in time.
Also, don't go overboard on commissary or anything else that may set him up as a target. He should NEVER try and buy friends or pay someone off. That would only make things worse for him.

Well, I have probably gotten a little off the intro topic but if you would like to talk more about any of this, we could start a thread in the proper forum. Just say the word.. :)

Take care & welcome again,
David

Susan,
Welcome to PTO you have truly found a wonderful place for support. I agraa that you should contact the prison he will be going to, explain the situation so they have the heads up.
You are both in my thoughts and prayers.
Michelle

Susan,
Welcome! I am very new here too, but I have already found a lot of support. I'm sure you will too. Everyone is right...there will be some people there that will help your son take care of himself. Have faith in humanity...I know it is hard, but you have to try. Keep your head up! We are here for you whenever you need to talk!

Welcome...you don't have to face this alone. Keep the faith; we're here for you.

Hey Susan:)
Another welcome for you. I am new here as well and have found everyone to be truly helpful and understanding.
I have two boys so can relate to how frightened you must be right now. Please try and keep the faith and take care of yourself so you are better able to be a support to your son as he needs it.

You take care.

Shannon

Another welcome! You and your son are in my thoughts...I know what you mean about the pain being RAW right now-but I can tell you from experience ..it doesnt go away but it does get a little easier. My husband is in jail for the first time..but I am a mother of 5 and can just imagine what you are going through..hang in there..You will find alot of love and support in this group we like to call a family!

welcome from me too. hang in there. sorry I can't give you any good advise about what he should do....I'll ask around and let you know what I find out,ok?

Thanks for the warm welcome. It sure helps to have people that know what I am going through to talk to.

Susan

Hello Susan,

I am so sorry to hear about your son. I can understand what you are going through. I have a son who is almost 21 years old. When he was 17 he got into alot of trouble with the law. He is a good kid but because of his trusting nature and him wanting to belong he got involved with the wrong crowd. I blame alot of this on his learning disability and the difficulties he had in school. Your son's story reminds me alot of my son and my heart breaks for you. My son was lucky. We did attain a good attorney for him and he managed to stay out of prison and was put on 3 years probation. It was a rough road in the beginning and I thank God that he was able to stay home and not go to prison.

I will keep you and your son in my prayers. I think you should keep in touch with the personal at the prison and make sure they understand the situation with your son. Make sure you show him all the love and understanding possible while he is going through this bad time in his life. He is going to need you desperately.

Anytime you want to talk just let us know. We are all here for you.

Susan-Welcome to PTO -you will find a lot of genuine love and support here- i work with the mentally ill and developmentally disabled population and it disturbs me greatly what happened to your son. Did he have a competency hearing? Has he had psychological testing and were those results presented to the judge? If he is 19 and functioning at a 12 year old level, he must have some level of MR--I don't know all the details but if he is MR and legally incompetent it might be worth contacting an attorney about an appeal-In the meantime, I would definatley contact the programmer at his prison and inform them about his sircumstances. Take care and keep us informed. We care about you, and him!

Sherri

Susan, I'm so sorry for what you and your son are going
through. Lots of loving support here.
Valerie

Hi Susan, I'm new here, too. This group seems to be very supporting - exactly what you need right now!
Hang in there, hon! Write him often, call the prison he is going to (like Donna and Michelle said) and try to find out who his counselor is and call him often!!!
I do hope all turns out OK!!
Veronica

Susan, I also feel for you and your son. I don't have alot of experience with "the system" but I know you must be persistant. Appeal if possible! I was left with the understanding that my son would spend maybe 6 -8 mos in jail and then be sent to a bootcamp, little did I know! While the time for an appeal ticked away. When he didn't get sent I was told it was because of his behavior. I didn't find out until about 8 mos later he WAS NEVER ELIIABLE because of his crime. Although my son had a prior history of drug abuse and juvinelle crime -the judge never looked into the seriousness off the drug abuse that lead my son to jail. An appeal would take a year for me and he gets out in 1 year 3 mos :(
I found that the police, the attorneys, the judges have no idea what happens next. Your best bet is here to find info. I also suggest not sending him to much$$. Like fedX says it does make them a target. If he has the same a everybody else then there is no reason to mess with him. If you make it known (without being too b*tchy, hard for me) that you are a parent who cares I believe it helps somewhat. Also look into a a church near him maybe a youth or prision pastor whom you trust have him visit you may need to have him add him on his viso list.
I hope this helps. I know it's tough but they are right agian you have to stay strong for your son. I also know my son Brian would look after your son if he were there. My only peace is knowing that they are all in God's hands, we all are! That's what keeps me sane, well relatively sane :) u r in my prayers too!
GO BUCKEYES!! GO BROWNS! I married a Browns Fan so I can't be sane. I have family in Ohio. take care and god be with u and yours cheryl

HELLO SUSAN, I'M ALWAYS LATE! wELCOME TO PTO, I'VE ONLY BEEN AROUND A FEW WEEKS BUT, IT'S GREAT I KNOW THE LORD HAD A PART IN ME FINDING THIS SITE! MY HUSBAND HAS BEEN IN PRISON MANY YEARS, GOD WILLING HE'LL BE HOME BEFORE THIS ONE IS UP! I HAVE A SON THAT WILL SOON BE 22 YRS.OLD, HE'S HAD ALOT OF TRAFFIC OFFENSES BUT, SO FAR THAT'S IT! HE WAS DIAGNOSED WITH ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER, WHEN HE WAS IN THE 4TH GRADE. HE WAS ONLY ON RITALIN FOR A COUPLE OF WEEKS THEN, AND HAS NOT BEEN ON SINCE! THE MENTAL ABUSE HE HAS GOTTEN FROM HIS FATHER I KNOW HAS BEEN REALLY DAMAGING TO HIM ALSO. I'VE TRIED TO GET HIM TO GO TO A MENTAL HEALTH CLINIC OR FIND OUT WHAT KIND OF MEDICINE WOULD HELP HIM! MY HUSBAND NOW IS MY 26 YR. OLD DAUGHTER'S NATURAL FATHER. I BELIEVE IF LARRY COULD HAVE BEEN HERE YEARS AGO HE WOULD HAVE BEEN A GREAT INFLUIENCE ON MY SON! I DO WORRY ABOUT HIM TREMENDOUSLY, BECAUSE HE'S BEEN NONE TO DO SOME STRANGE THINGS. I'LL BE PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOUR SON ! HANG IN THERE! WE'RE ALL HERE FOR YOU! WELL IT'S BEEN A CRAZY WEEK AND I HAVEN'T GOT TO POST MUCH THE LAST 4 OR 5 DAYS BUT, i'VE SURE BEEN RAMBING NOW! PENNY

Susan,another belated welcome to PTO. I am very sorry to hear of your sons position,but please rest assured,if you need anything,feel free to call on us.If one of us does not have an answer,we will find someone who does.God Bless..................Spencer

HI Susan
I also have a son in ohio prison and he is also mentally slow
they did a test on his metal awareness and they said that he knew right from wrong and nothing more. I'm asking a lawyer about his trial he had and he said maybe he can get release because there should have been a lawyer present when he was queston. because he did not under stand the questons they asked. I know how you feel because I feel so helpless we are used to always helping our children and keeping them safe and now are hands are tied because of the Judical system. and its worst because of the handycapp our children have on being mentally slow.
my son has been in the prison for 1 1/2 and he is now in the hole which I'm fighting the prison about.
where does a family turn to . thank god we have this forum to help us with questions and answers
also I wish we had free legal help. I'm so broke from my son's trial and sending him money and clothes. I need to get a second Job. why isn't there help here in our state that helps famlies in need .
you know I write my son alot to let him know that I'm always here for him and tell him to keep his chinn up and that the good lord says this to shall pass and for him to keep asking the lord for strength. and my last word to him is this to shall pass. they need to know that we are here for them and will always be and write them a lot of letters and visit them as much as you can.
we are all together to help one another here.
I know I need the strength of all of you here to make it through the next 7 years
GOD BLESS all of the families of inmates

Susan,

Another Welcome to PTO! I am sorry to see what you and your son are going through now. There are alot of good people here that have given alot of loving support and good advice that has helped us through our time of trial. I know that you will find the same support and love.

Your family will be in our prayers.

Dear Susan,

Here's another welcome and hello for you. I just sent up a prayer for your child. How scary for the both of you. Although I don't have much experience with developmental disabilities, I do have a couple of friends who are bipolar, so I can somewhat understand what you're feeling. So glad you found us. Take care.