View Full Version : Texas Women's Prison - what should i expect?


darlenereal
03-10-2003, 07:57 PM
Last year I made some bad choices and although i have really changed my life and everything about it. I may still have to go to prison soon. My court date is May 4, 2003. The DA wants time--I have never been convicted of anything before nor have I had probation or anything. What do I expect? I'm scared to death, I have even thought of ending things before it gets to trial. forgory cases. No voilent or drug charges, My ex-husband is a CO at McConnel Unit, He will propbably never allow me to ever see my 12 year old daughter again. I have no family suuport, no friendship support except for one or two., My greatest supporter is my wonderful friend that I just found again after 15 years. He is finishing his sentance and will bwe out in Oct. Please share some things that you may know...I dont' know the first thing. I did spend 61 days in the County jail prior to Bail. I walked out of county homeless,jobless and carless. Within 2 months I hade a tiny apt and old car and had managed to get a pretty good job. I would think that would show something to the DA but she isnt inpressed. Please help

KConnor56
03-10-2003, 09:15 PM
darlenereal,

I'm sorry to hear what your going through. Believe me when I say this. Prison isn't as bad as you imagine it to be. It's no cake walk, & can be a horrible experiance, but for most people they go in & come out OK. People are coming out of prison every day, so if they can do it, so can you. Stick around PTO, make some friends, & you'll have some people here that will write to you while your inside. We are a great support group. I know there are women here who can tell you what your looking at. All my experiance is in Caalif. & mens prison. I know many women who have been to prison, & some are in right now, but none in Texas. So I will leave the details to those who know more than I.-------------Ken

deb
03-10-2003, 09:32 PM
Welcome to PTO. We're here for you and others will be along and answer your questions better than I as they've been in....

Deb

twomanyhearts
03-10-2003, 09:36 PM
Welcome to PTO......Darlenereal,

I will have to say that like Kconnor56.............I believe you will be fine...........I have no first hand expierence......but if you have the ability to come out of county and accomplish; a home, job and transportation..........that speaks volumes to me. You need to remember the basics.........1 you now have the PTO family for support ..............2nd impressing a DA...........I do not believe it is possible......... 3rd...........dont sell yourself short

I will close because I know there are women PTO members that have been in your shoes ............that will give you the real scoop..............

Hope to see you again..................

darlenereal
03-10-2003, 10:45 PM
thanks for the responses, I feel like I have friends again. God bless every one of you. you don't realize what just one or two kind and inspiring words can do for someone.

Chevygal55
03-11-2003, 12:02 AM
Darlenereal~ First welcome to PTO! I too do not know what to tell you as I too have never been incarcerated. I just wanted to let you know you have found a great place here at PTO. I am sure the ladies Ken is speaking of will be along shortly to tell you of their experiences. Just know that you will find alot of loving and caring people here. If you do go in (and I pray you don't) you won't be going in alone! You will have all of us here!

Beck

LucidDream
03-11-2003, 01:47 AM
I also want to give you a warm welcome :) I cannot offer advice, but wanted to let you know that we are glad you are here.

hugs,
Cindy

Ken
03-11-2003, 04:20 AM
darlenereal,

I also cannot offer any advice other than keep PTO on your computer screen over the next while and ask your questions and try to understand what your future holds.

Welcome to PTO, and I only hope that we can help you to find the answers that you are looking for.

Keep strong!

cepora
03-11-2003, 06:23 AM
Welcome to PTO. Please continue to visit us, you will find support, friends, strength, the list goes on and on! PTO is a great place, I don't know what I would have done without it!

lulu
03-11-2003, 09:23 AM
welcome to PTO. It just broke my heart knowing all the things your thinking and how hard it is for you. You do have friends now and when you do go to trial and IF you get sentenced, if you would like, please PM me and i will give you my address and i will write you while your in. you wont have to go through this alone.
Hang in there.

David
03-11-2003, 03:29 PM
First, welcome to PTO darlenereal.
I am sorry to hear what you are facing but what KConnor56 said is true..
I have also been through the system and the worst part is facing what you are now.. Prison isn't easy but you will see that it is not always a hell hole. Personally, I think County Jail is much worse than prison life ever will be. But, again, it depends on what you make it.
If you don't mind me asking, how much time are you looking at? If it is short, you may not even make it into the actual prison system, or you may be scheduled for a pre-release facility right from the start. It definitely is not worth ending it all over..
I am in Texas but my time was done in the federal prison system, though I have many friends who are both in TDCJ and have been through it.
Again, welcome to the community,
David

flygirlaa2
03-11-2003, 11:19 PM
darlene, i am so sorry to hear you are in a ruff spot. i have no experience but believe anticipation is the worst part. hang in there and please keep us updated. if ou need a friend, i am here for you.

darlenereal
03-15-2003, 01:01 AM
Thanks for the encouragement. I am looking at possible 8 years.

lulu
03-15-2003, 09:19 AM
you will be in my thoughts and prayers

lizonloose
03-15-2003, 06:52 PM
Darlene,

I am sorry to hear of your future. I was released from the TDCJ-ID after serving 9 years myself in January. I am a forty-something woman and know much about what to expect as a guest of our State. Let me assure you that hospitality is not the TDCJ's strong suit. At the same time, if I can survive at 5'1", 130#, and a very sheltered pre-prison life, you can too.

I would be happy to share whatever insights I can ... it was QUITE an education ... with you via PM. Please
My dear, you have my prayers and my symplathies, if I can ally any fears I shall, or bolster you with knowledge to face some that are real.

God Bless ... and PM me soon.

Luv

Liz

rustydreams
03-15-2003, 10:16 PM
Darlene,
Hi Please email me. I am in contact with several women incarcerated in Texas and may be able to help some. In fact ones address is here under penpals, her name is DOnna and she is a great lady.. Write to her if you wish, I will give you my real name in email and address as well if you would like a penpal I can always do another..She would not know who in the world RustyDreams iS! LOL
RD

motivated
03-20-2003, 05:10 PM
Have you been sentenced yet? If not I would like to talk with you about somethings to say to the judge, when he or she ask you if you have anything to say. This is known to impact the sentence given. However there is a guideline that the judge must follow for each crime. But, there is a minimum and a maximum. I just received a sentence 2 days ago and I am looking forward to completing the sentence and going on with my life. I have three small children, at one point I didn't feel like living, at the thought of being away from them. But, I found God and I know that he would never put any more on me than I could bear. Please reply.

darlenereal
03-20-2003, 07:55 PM
thanks for the thoughts., Today I had Pre-trial court. Sat and nervously waited for 3 1/2 hours. Nothing resolved. my docket call is April 17 which is also my 38th b'day--I wonder if they bring me a cake? just kidding. I appreciate everyones thoughts and prayers,keep them coming...I feel stronger everyday.....thanks mostly to all of you wonderful people//god bless the USA.....darlene

Lysbeth
03-20-2003, 11:46 PM
Hang in there, Darlene.... thinking good thoughts & prayers for you on this end!!!

darlenereal
03-21-2003, 11:43 PM
hotmail.com but cant seem to get any messages to complete, if you see this, please pm me or email me thanks

California Sunshine
03-25-2003, 06:23 PM
I'm sorry to hear what you are facing.My thoughts are with you

friggwolf
03-29-2003, 12:48 PM
Darlene--While I cannot begin to tell you what it is like in TDC, I only know what I have heard from people who have been in it, both men and women. If you stay storng, not just physically, but mentally, then you will make it thru. Pleae know thqat you have the PTO family here to see you thru it.

Godspeed
Debbie

FriscoLady
03-29-2003, 01:49 PM
Darlene,

Hang in there! The hardest part for me was waiting the the doggone trial, then after that the sentencing. As Debbie said keep strong both physically and mentally and you will make it.

At times I had to go one minute at a time. I got thru this one the next will be ok. It is odd how you break time down to get through it.

Those here at PTO will see you through.

God Bless you,

Patti

tojemo
03-31-2003, 07:02 PM
My wife is going through the same thing. Plead guilty last month to bank fraud and was sentence to 10 months. She will surrender April 28,2003. We had family that was willing to pay full restitution at the time of the sentence hearing, but the judge didn't care. We have a five year old daughter that I will have to care for and still try to maintain my job. I hope your family and friends will some day realize that people can and will make mistakes. Also it didn't matter that wife was working full time and will be working up to the 28th. Just hope you have a liberal judge, we wish we would of had one. The system sucks.

IRIST
03-31-2003, 08:01 PM
DARLENE, I TOO CAN NOT HELP YOU, I HAVE NEVER BEEN LOCKED UP, BUT I WILL ASK GOD TO WRAP HIS ARMS AROUND YOU, PROTECT YOU, GIVE YOU THE STRENGTH AND COURAGE TO GET THRU THIS DARK PASSAGE IN YOUR LIFE.
TAKE ONE DAY AT A TIME AND ASK GOD TO GIVE YOU HIS STRENGTH TO DO WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO. JUST PUT YOUR TRUST IN GOD AND KEEP HIM WITH YOU, START EACH DAY WITH GOD IN YOUR HEART AND END EACH DAY WITH GOD IN YOUR PRAYERS. I HOPE THE BEST FOR YOU AND MAYBE THIS LADY DA WILL HAVE HER HEART IN THE RIGHT PLACE WHEN YOU GO TO COURT. KEEP US POSTED OK. GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY. GOD BLESS ALL TEXANS AND ALL AMERICANS.

darlenereal
04-02-2003, 10:22 PM
I lost my computer in a storm about two weeks ago so now i have to depend on the good old library and then can you believe forgot my password and cannot even retrieve my old email...If i havent responded to anyone and you have been waiting I AM SOOO SORRY.....I think Ive caught up though. My new court dates for Docket call are 4-17 (also my b'day) and 4-23. Trial date so far is still 5-5-03. I have missed my PTo family tremendously these alst two weeks.. Keep the prayers coming or going or both if possible for me. and thanks to all of you who have reached out to me.....darlene

darlenereal
04-02-2003, 11:13 PM
News Update: since my court dates are right around the corner, I contacted Wade's caseworker today to request another 4hr contact visit for the weekend of April12th. Wish me luck that is gets approved again. I thought that would be a great early birthday present to myself....You know just in case things go bad in court......Just wanted you'll to know....say a little prayer things go right and my car can fly the 400 miles to Henderson. all the way across tx from one end to the other......darlene

texascricket
04-13-2003, 05:56 PM
Darlene,

Hi! I am also facing time in Texas. I surrender on June 9th for DWI-3rd. I have asked a TON of questions since I have been on here and everyone has been great, but I REALLY REALLY REALLY want to know what it will be like in there. It looks like you got a lot of good leads to information. Can you tell me what you may have found out or can someone that had information for Darlene share the same with me. Please. Thanks so much. Good luck to you girl!

lulu
04-13-2003, 06:02 PM
Darlene, good luck and i hope you got that visit. Please let us know what happenes

darlenereal
04-25-2003, 02:28 PM
thanks for everything to everybody...I dont have access to a computer as often as I wish. Court was reset for June 23rd. My attorneys are going to beg the judge for probation or at least 6 month shock probation since I have never been convicted of anything or have been on probation kep the prayers coming. No lulu I didnt get to see Wade yet. thanks for asking. my car died and I have no way to get to him. from one end of Tx to the other is quite a stretch...but I havent given up...I need to see him really bad, My soul needs this....keeep the prayers going, friends. I will update you--my new family as soon as I can ...thanks again. d

darlenereal
07-09-2003, 03:13 AM
well first i apologize for flaking out on everyone. not much has changed except 1/2 my apt is now packed. i have separated my possesions into the keep, goodwill, trash catagories. funny 2 months ago everything i owned was important to me in some way. now i feel like everything in my life is disposable. june 23 was one of the hardest days of my life, i went the gamet. fear, anxietty, acceptance, just plain pissed to alice in wonderland. Ive been on a trip around the world and i havent left my couch. of course my relief was immense when my atty said bye, see ya on july 7, the da doesnt have the paperwork ready yet. so again, we go thru the same steps on 7-7-03 . its reset till 7-31-03. she didnt have the paperwork ready again on the 7th. can anyone shed some light on this paperwork that is so time consumng or demanding? its not just me but my 12 year old in riding thios coaster also. bear in mind this da has wanted me under the prison. hell i would have thought she would have paid for the gas to drive me herself. if she wants me to be crazy, i am as close as i have ever been, of course it doesnt help that my car died, so i am dependant on 2 close friends for everything. i feel like such a pain, i dont want to be a bother to people, i wish , i wish, i wish I had wings so i could fly just one more time and truly laugh. i used to live my life laughing, now i feel like i am so pathetic. i dont like this feeling. i havent played a piano in almost 2 years or sang --that was my outlet, my lifeline. they say if you think your going crazy your not, your usually the last to know, ok then i must be the sanest crazy person in the world. even this post sounds like i'm whining to me....just say a prayer guys...please...

SassieBbw
07-09-2003, 03:22 AM
From experiance ... wich I have has! There are a few simple keys to being fine in prison! #1 Mind your own business! Dont tell people about you ... or your crime and dont ask questions! Domt barrow/lend people thing's unless you want to pay back 2 for 1 ... and if you lend, be prepared it may not return. Just lay low, get involved in class's reading, arts something to keep you occupiyed! be very careful of who you befriend, becouse just like in high school you are judge by who you hang with! dont get chummie with the cos either, unless u want inmate problems! It wont be hard, just stay to yourself, remeber you are in there ALONE! Much luck and if you want to talk you can om me and email me Any time

darlenereal
07-09-2003, 04:12 AM
alone, now thats a word i know very intimately lately. weeks go by before i realized i havent spoken to anyone except maybe hello to the apt maintenance guy in days, ok honestly, maybe weeks.....i have a fish, my dughter tells me, mom get a grip you are argueing with a fish. they eat, swim and poop thats it. she's right, but the fish pissed me off she stinks lately, oh my god, now i am writing about fighting with my fish..her name is Flossie by the way......if this werent my life, i'd change the channel.

FriscoLady
07-09-2003, 04:33 AM
Darlene,

Hang in there! I know this is the hardest time. I joined PTO in April of 02, months before it got bad for me. My trial was in Nov. of 02 with sentencing in December. The time between April and December, almost drove me crazy!

Between the finding of guilty and sentencing I was hysterical, cried alot, quick to anger, nothing made life easier.

All, I can say, is please do what I did not do. I know you are going to think me insane. But, please, please take the time to enjoy you daughters company as much as you can, take some time for your self as well.

It does not make things any easier, in fact, I'm not sure that when the time comes for you to go - it won't make it harder. But, you have the memories of the good times to hold on too, while you are away.

I'm going though the same situation again, I was fortunate enough, that the judge released me pending the outcome of my appeal, but this could all change on September 22nd. I may find myself back in prison.

But, until then this time, I am making the memories I want to take with me. Yes, I am still scared, crying alot, quick to anger, and just plain terrified. But I will do my best.

Hang in, girl, that is all we have.

God Bless

Patti

PS: If you ever need to talk just pm me, as you can see I'm keeping some pretty late or early hours too, Funny, worry and fear does no good, but, lately it seems like that is all I do.

darlenereal
07-09-2003, 04:38 AM
thanks for taking the time. what goes on during the presentence investigation phase?

FriscoLady
07-09-2003, 04:45 AM
Darlene,

If you will allow me, I will answer tonite, it is time I start getting ready for work. I'm not putting you off, just have to go earn the money - to pay the lawyer.

Patti

FriscoLady
07-09-2003, 05:02 AM
Darlene,

I really don't mean to leave you hanging on your question, but I am almost late. But, anyway, I will answer to my experience to night. There are others too that I think I remember threads already on presentencing, just so you don't have to wait 8 hours.

Talk to you tonight, have a Blessed Day

Patti

darlenereal
07-09-2003, 05:04 AM
i'm going to crash for awhile..be back in the am.....

FriscoLady
07-09-2003, 03:52 PM
Darlene,

Me, again, I should have stayed home! Been a bad day, but any way. I know during my presentencing there were alot of questions, financial, what you own, etc., background, even psych type questions, I can't think of any specifics, but I think I would ask Life2asequel for that kind of thing.

I know it is not much help.

Patti

darlenereal
07-12-2003, 10:10 PM
thanks for the input.....you'll are great.