View Full Version : A Money Machine


SHERRON
03-10-2003, 02:38 AM
DOES ANY ONE FEEL LIKE I DO??????? LIKE IT IS NEVER GONNA END???? EVERY TIME I TURN AROUND TODD WANTS SOMETHING ELSE!!!!! GEEZ.........I ONLY MAKE 6.00 AN HOUR AND HE KNOWS THIS........HIS LAST LETTER HE SLIPPED AN ORDER FORM FOR A STUPID MAGAZINE IN.........I AM THE ONLY ONE THAT SENDS MONEY EXCEPT MY MOM HELPS WHEN SHE CAN........BUT DAMN IT ........I GOT TO LIVE TOO!!!!! DON'T GET ME WRONG BUT TODD NEEDS TO REALIZE WHAT THE REAL WORLD IS ABOUT!!!!!! I GUESS HE HAS FORGOT IN 2 YEARS!!!!!! GIVE ME A BREAK .......FRIENDS......I AM SO TIRED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cepora
03-10-2003, 04:52 AM
I hear ya Sherron! When my son was in, he was always asking for something. I got four of those magazine subscriptions slipped into letters! I also was the only one sending him any money. He just didn't seem to "get it"...that I have bills to pay and that I can't send him as much as he would have liked. I know exactly what you are going through! Hang in there.

Budwoman
03-10-2003, 06:23 AM
Sweetheart, This is constant with Butch too. I think it is because they do know that we are the only ones that they have. I have had to put my foot down and say, sorry son, I just don't have the money. If it is an emergenty and he really needs the money, then I send it.... I try to send some once a month..... Once in awhile I will send him a magagine sugscription but only on a special occasion such as birthday or christmas..

Remember, they forget just how hard it is to make a living.... Don't feel bad if you have to say no.

Love Ya
Donna

lulu
03-10-2003, 08:41 AM
sherron, Donna is correct, but there is a time where one has to say i cant and know that cause you said that does not make you a bad parent. I had a mother call me one time and said,"lulu, i feel so bad cause my son called and i did'nt accept the call. what is he going to think of me, i just cant do it every day" She felt like she let him down. that she abandoned him. she is NOT doing that, it is called trying to live out here as well. If you just talk to him and explain, he will have to understand, and even if he does not, then to bad. you mothers have nothing to feel guilty about, they put them self there for what ever reason that may be, you did'nt. sometimes we just have to say no.
i have some one that i grew up with and i sent him money all the time, i mean all the time, he never ask, but i felt i had too cause no one esle was. half of him family left him and that made me feel bad. i finially had to stop, it was breaking me. I cant amgaine how you guys feel when it is your own.
they know that you are there for them regardless. Money is not the only way to say, i love you and i will be there fore you.

emme
03-10-2003, 09:02 AM
sherron, you have to be firm...and you have to stay firm...he can ask and ask, but...you can only do so much. he will come around and realize this...i think sometimes people think "it can't hurt to ask..." but they don't realize that it DOES hurt when they ask, and we can't give them the answer they want...it will be okay!!

xo
emme

Phil in Paris
03-10-2003, 09:05 AM
Sorry for this Sherron !!! But Lulu is right, money is not the only way to say I love you !! I know you're a wonderful mom for Todd, and I think he will undersdand you're not an ATM !!! :)

Hang in there !!!
Phil

mattjohnsmom
03-10-2003, 09:25 PM
SHERRON,
I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I THINK IT IS ESPECIALLY BAD WHEN YOU KNOW YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE OUT THERE DOING ANYTHING TO HELP THEM. SOMETIMES I HAVE TO REMIND MATT THAT I JUST HAVE A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF MONEY PER MONTH. THAT I HAVE TO MAINTAIN MY BLAZER SO I CAN GET TO TOWN AND TO VISIT HIM. BUT SAYING NO IS HARD.
STILL PHIL IS RIGHT. WE HAVE TO SOMETIMES AND THAT DOES NOT MEAN WE LOVE THEM ANY LESS.

Barbara
03-10-2003, 09:39 PM
Well I must be the luckiest loved one out here, I have to beg my son to tell me what I can get him. He just says he doesnít need anything and that he will tell me when he wants something. I know this doesnít sound like a problem but it is to me I want to give him what I can but he never wants anything. I have it figured out when he can use some money on his books so I just send it anyway. He always writes and thanks me so I know he can use the money but he just doesnít ask very often. Maybe it is something in the water at Pelican Bay, I also have a young man there that I write to and he wonít let me send him anything either he says itís a guy thing. Go figure. Love Barbara

KRIS_NC
03-10-2003, 10:03 PM
SENDING MONEY WAS NEVER ENDING WITH JESSE AND MY OTHER FRIENDS IM WRITING ALWAYS ASK BUT NEVER GET. THE FIRST TIME TERRANCE EVER ASKED ME FOR MONEY WAS WHEN HE GOT OUT OF SOLITARY FRIDAY AND HE SAID THAT WOULD BE THE ONLY TIME. HOPEFULLY HES RIGHT

Chevygal55
03-10-2003, 10:19 PM
Sherron I really don't know what to say here... my son in not incarcerated and at times when he was jobless I use to give him a little out of my paycheck every week just cuz I felt bad for him not having any money and all. He never asked for it but on the weeks when I just couldn't spare a few bucks I would just feel bad if I couldn't give him a little something. Now he is the one working and I am unable to work so he helps me out by paying my elec. bill and phone bill every month! But I am sure, well at least I hope your son will understand you "are not" made of money. And please don't feel bad when you can't send any. You seem to be a wonderful mom you love him and you have stuck by him.

Ken
03-11-2003, 03:37 AM
Teddy did not always understand but I basically laid out my budget for him to see. I shared with him MY costs of living on a monthly basis based on what I earn. I also made it quite clear that I was not spending money on going out with friends and buying things for myself - that having him in my life actually brought new costs to the table. It really turned the corner when I gave him the choice - visits and phone calls or money. Thankfully he chose the visits and phone calls.

Don't get me wrong - I would give this many everything that I have if it would make his time better, (and Sherron I know that you would do the same for your son) but I have to live and prepare for all the unexpected expenses too - car repairs, dental, and just life in general...

Here is an idea that might work! You are going to laugh, but it just may be something that would work! Have a garage sale or a yard sale and set the proceeds aside for things like magazine subscriptions and the like?

I will be moving soon and I plan to do this - I am going to take the money from this and use it for Teddy things that are just out of reach most of the time.

SHERRON
03-11-2003, 03:54 PM
Thanks everyone for your thoughts.........and Teb.......that's a good idea you got...........THANKS EVERYONE

BillysAngel
03-12-2003, 10:15 PM
Sherron
I just read this. I know exactly how you feel. Last time Billy was locked up, I had a great paying job and I sent him a little over $3000.00 in the 18 mths he was there, plus any and all magazine subscriptions he wanted, plus, I drove to see him every single weekend, only missing the weekend Hurricane Allison came, and he had at least 20 envelopes every day. It was easy cuz I had a lot of money, and a lot of credit cards. Well now he's back in and he expects the same, only this time I have no income and am waiting anxiously to be approved for disability. I can only send him money when I get money to get my nails done or something and I give it up to make sure he has a little - very little money. I am also $40,000.00 in debt, and don't really even have stamp money. So I guess he was lucky and he should have not gone back!! But when he 1st got arrested on 4-10-02, until about a month ago, he kept including a card for Penthouse in almost every single letter. I finally had to tell him look I have no income, what part of this don't you understand. I have not forgotten about your damn magazine and I will pay for it when I can, until then, please stop sending me the cards because it makes me feel like shit that I can't get it for you and I don't deserve to feel that way. He has not sent another one since. I did however go to some of those freebie sites and found him a few free mag. subs. and had them sent to him. They're not what he wanted, but hey, I don't exactly get what I want either because he is in there, so I told him it will have to do for now. I told him that he can sell the ones he doesn't want for stamps because I just do not have any money.
So hang in there and don't beat yourself up. Just explain to him that you are doing the best you can and if that doesn't work, tell him that he wouldn't need the damn mag. if he were home :)
(((HUGS)))
diane

SHERRON
03-13-2003, 06:10 AM
Thank you........Diane :D

albajo
03-13-2003, 06:59 AM
sherron; I KNOW EXACTLY HOW YOU FEEL I LIVE ON DISABILITY AND AM ABLE TO SEND MY 2 BOYS 50.00 A MONTH BUT TRAVIS IS ALWAYS SENDING HOME MAGIZINES ORDER FORMS I ORDERED HIM ONE 46 DOLLERS A YEAR AND HE HAD THE AUDASITY TO TELL ME I ORDERED THE WRONG ONE I TOLD HIM HE FILLED IT OUT BUCKIE DONT ASK FOR ANYTHING BUT MAIL CAUSE THATS ALL HE CAN HAVE; WHEN THAY WERE FREE THAY WOUDENT LISTEN TO NOTHING ID TRY TO TELL THEM IT WAS HEY MOM IM A MAN; BUT LET EM GET LOCKED AND ITS MOM WHAT SHOULD I DO MOM HELP ME MOM SEND ME THAY GET THE GAZZETTE NEWSPAPER 52 $ EVERY 3 MONTHS ITS A NEVER ENDING GIMMIE GET ME HELP ME AND BEING THEIR MAMA IM ALL THAY GOT SO THAY DEPEND ON ME FOR EVERYTHING YOU JU ST GOTTA DO THE BEST YOU CAN AND LET THE REST GO; IVE HAD TO DO THIS WELL GOOD LUCK AND GOD BLESS

SHERRON
03-13-2003, 04:10 PM
Alba.......thanks........I know .........sometimes it is just gimme....gimme......gimme.......

cheryl
03-13-2003, 05:49 PM
:eek: Yeah, also know the feeling but also caught in the middle here. I get asked from hubby how much $ do you send him all the time. My son asks for a radio, sweats, stamps, new shoes, you name it but doesn't always get it. I make decent money and he knows it. He asked for 2 magazines a Christmas. I sent him one. We agreed I'd send him $20 a month unless he truely needs something and I send him 3 stamped envelopes in every letter I write. Many it's too much maybe not who knows?! I'd let him know how it is, the real world is rough too. Nobody gets what they want here either, if we did none of us would be on this site, right!? Don't feel bad all we can do is do our best. Your a wonderful Mom and he's truely lucky to have you!:D cheryl

SHERRON
03-13-2003, 06:34 PM
Thank you Cheryl!!!!!!

ms scarlett
03-15-2003, 12:22 PM
Sherron -

I did the same things to my parents when I was younger. I'd spend all my money and then beg them to help me. One day my father said to me, "You got yourself there, you're going to have to get yourself out. You're an adult now."

I was so mad I thought he was the worst Dad in the world. How could he do that to ME (throwing the back of my hand on my forehead...in best Scarlett form). I was really mad at him for a while.

Now, numerous years later, I love and respect my Dad for kicking my tush into the real world. I'm now a self-sufficient person and thankful for it.

You will be doing your son a favor by letting him know that you love him tremendously and want him to succeed in life however his choices produce consequences that he must resolve, not you. That truly is a loving gesture.

My best to you.

Scarlett

JER
03-17-2003, 08:09 AM
Whoa Sherron after reading this it makes me feel not too bad

JER
03-17-2003, 08:12 AM
I get paid once a month and I send Javier money the beginning of the month i never send books or magazines usually Livia or my sis do that they also send him money he is lucky to have 3 persons out here he can count on 4-ever and as long as we can help him out, but yeah it is hard I used to get letters where he would ask me to send money to someone else in there i'll get one every now and then...Jesus Christ ....hugs, JER