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TNC
11-08-2003, 01:33 AM
If you have been married in a New York prison and would like to share with everyone then please post. Here is a list of questions and if you can add anything else then please do so.


1. Did you have any counsling
2. How long did the whole process take
3. Did you have to find your own minister
4. Were you allowed any flowers or disposable camera
5. How many guests were allowed to be there
6. What was the process to get the marriage license
7. What were the costs you had to pay
8. What were the two of you allowed to wear
9. Were you allowed to bring a wedding band in for him or did it have to be mailed and what was the value limit

YQueen80
12-29-2003, 11:57 AM
I got married in Coxsackie Correctional, Greene County, NY- We did not receive counseling, per se, but we had to sit down with his counselor and speak about the process. The counselor sat with me very briefly and asked me specifics about my husband's arrest and sentence, just to make sure that I knew what I was getting into. The whole process took about a month or so, maybe less. We were trying to get my own minister, but they denied it saying that she was not licensed to marry in NY. (Which was incorrect) The town clerk married us for $75. I was not allowed anything in the visiting room except for his wedding ring and the money for the clerk. They did give us 1 free polaroid picture. We were allowed to have two witnesses- two other inmates. My mother was present also. I did hear of another couple who were allowed 8 people with them. The process for the marriage license was all handled by the town clerk. There was a fee of $25 (?) I had to pay to get all of that completed. In total I payed about $100 to get married (money wise, it was very good, but it's still not equal to him being home)- I was allowed to wear anything I wanted, of course, as long as I followed the dressing rules. He wore a white shirt and his state greens. The value limit for his wedding ring was $150- the only thing that I had a problem with was the amount of unrelated people who continually tried to talk me out of it. I hope this helps. Thanks!

rosepetal
01-05-2004, 08:02 PM
I got married at ACF. First, we met with his counselor who was very nice and helpful. He reviewed my husband's file with me to be certain I knew what I was getting into and provided the necessary information about obtaining the marriage license and whatever else I needed to know and do.

No outside guests were allowed, (later they could visit us in the visit room). Present at the ceremony were the witnesses for the bride/groom, two CO's, a photographer and of course the JP. We had purchased picture tickets several weeks before the wedding and the photographer took whatever pictures we wanted. The JP we elected to marry us was very nice; I had several conversations with him prior to the weddinig and he was extremely helpful and he allowed us to incorporate into the ceremony any additional personal rite(s) we wanted. Everyone was very nice, even the CO's, one who knew our "history;" he knew how long it was we knew each other before we married. . . .

All I had to do was bring in his ring, pay the $$ to the JP for his fee and everything else went quite smoothly.

j2sq
01-12-2004, 11:49 AM
rosepetal..sounds great..good for you..i wish u alllllllllllllllll the happiness in the world!:D

Sweet_Pea_F79
03-07-2004, 04:06 PM
I was married at Wyoming Correctional Facility in Attica NY.... Both my fiance and I had to write the superintendant requesting to get married. The superintendant then send the approval to his counselor, his counselor meets with him and asked him if thats what he wanted and he filled out some paperwork. She sent me the paperwork that I had to fill out and I sent it right back out to her. She then called and set up an appointment with her. I went and met with her and my fiance was there and we went over his rap sheet and what he was in for and his bid and release date. Then after that appointment the deputy town clerk called to set up an appointment and I had to take in my birth certificate and lisence and his stuff etc. We signed the paperwork and picked a date and she contacted the judge and everything for us. That how it went for me

mcnuzzie
03-23-2004, 05:28 PM
they do not conduct weddings at downstate, at least that is my understanding. you'll have to wait till your guy has been sent to his final destination. you are expected to provide the clergy to perform the ceremony..who must be approved by the facility. good luck

TheIndianQueen
04-26-2004, 09:46 PM
I got married April 10, 2004 at Clinton Correctional Facility. It was a truly different experience. Our friends were our witnesses which made more personal. But it was quick one minute I was single next a married woman.

KP Wifey
04-26-2004, 10:08 PM
my husband is now at clinton correctioal. But we got married at Odgenburg correctional aug 7 2001 and was the best day of out life. very personal family was there nothing like i would have wanted on the out side but it was well worth it and our 1st and only child just turned 1

CitosGirl156
05-29-2004, 04:58 PM
I was married at Wyoming Correctional Facility in Attica NY.... Both my fiance and I had to write the superintendant requesting to get married. The superintendant then send the approval to his counselor, his counselor meets with him and asked him if thats what he wanted and he filled out some paperwork. She sent me the paperwork that I had to fill out and I sent it right back out to her. She then called and set up an appointment with her. I went and met with her and my fiance was there and we went over his rap sheet and what he was in for and his bid and release date. Then after that appointment the deputy town clerk called to set up an appointment and I had to take in my birth certificate and lisence and his stuff etc. We signed the paperwork and picked a date and she contacted the judge and everything for us. That how it went for me
Congrats! That is good to hear my fiance was in wyoming and I was going to marry him there as well. But thank God he was sent closer to home not 8hrs away but 1hr 45min now. He does not have much time left and still wants to go through it. Me on the other hand since he only has 8 months to go would rather wait. We have been together 11 yrs. And I love him dearly.We have gone through our ups and downs and break ups to make up. But for some strange reason always get back together.
Your information on the process in getting married was very helpful I also Had to right to the superintendent of his facility and maybe have to go through the same process you did since its in New York State.

NYYankee
05-29-2004, 07:16 PM
rosepetal, If by ACF you mean Attica, your wedding was much different than mine. I was married in Attica. The paperwork itself wasn't too complicated. Write a letter asking for permission from the Superintendent (only slightly humiliating). The groom gets a wedding packet to fill out, I recieved a simple form to fill out and mail back. A week later you call to make an appointment with the FRP councelor, then it had to be on a Wed, I think now it is Tues. The Family Reunion Counselor and the Town clerk met with us, we paid 25$ (money order to Attica Town clerk) for the license and the FRP counselor did his job of being rude and trying to humiliate us. For the Town Clerk you need birth certificate, license, and any divorce papers you might have from prior marrages.The second half of the meeting my husband (to be) left the room. At this point the FRP counselor asked if I knew the specifics of the sentence and crime, which I did. Then he continued to predict the future of my husband getting hit at the board continually. I found this man to be rude, egotistical and competely the wrong type of person for what the job is perceived to be, going by the title. I have talked to other people that didn't have a problem with this man, so I guess HE had a problem with us, for some unknown reason. So we just did what you have to do, get through it. After this meeting you have to wait a week to call and set a date for your wedding.
My husbands good friend, also incarcerated there, was to be our witness. The day of the wedding we find out that they will not call him down to the wedding unless there is another person there to visit him. Nice time to let us know about this rule. So we had to look around the visit room and luckily another friend was there with his wife and agreed to be our witness. The wedding was quick, just us, the witness and the justice, 75$ cash. We bought picture tickets later when they were available. The biggest dissappointment was not being able to have our friend there. They knew he was our witness for 3 weeks and no one told us he would have to have a seperate visit. So my advice is , if you plan on having another inmate as a witness, ask questions about how it is supposed to work and write down the name of who you talk to.

OpalStardust777
06-04-2004, 04:45 PM
I got married in Ontario County Jail on May 10th 2003. It was quick, and I even had to say "what?" to the JP because I couldn't understand what I was supposed to repeat because he was talking way too fast. HA HA.

OpalStardust777
06-04-2004, 04:48 PM
Oh yeah, we also had to ask the CO for permission to hold hands during the ceremony, and gave him a questioning look before we kissed.

Anthony'sWife
06-07-2004, 08:00 PM
I got married @ Shawangunk Correctional Facility on September 6th 2001. I didnt know what to expect and I was nervous But it was ok. It was very fast, I will admit that.

weallwegot
06-28-2004, 07:46 PM
My Husband And I Got Married 2 Yrs Ago At Green Haven Corr. Facility. The Wedding Took Place In The Old Visitin' Rm And After The Ceremony Was Over We Continued Our Visit..


Peace

Salubri
07-01-2004, 11:16 PM
I just got married June 26th at Woodbourne CF, woodbourne,NY. We didn't have any counseling, the process was pretty quick you have to marry within 60days after the license is signed,we had a JP, no flowers or camera- they wouldn't even let us have a cake!! 4 guests were allowed,all i had to do was go in and sign and pay for the license(the town clerk there is also the senior counselor),the license cost $40,the JP $50. I was allowed to wear anything I wanted(I wore a white dress) he had to wear his state greens and a white shirt. they let me bring the ring in it had to cost $50 or less. I guess that about sums it up.

Ronnie
07-23-2004, 12:54 PM
I got married at Clinton CF in 1993. We kind of had some premarital counseling, but it was done individually, not together. My husband is Muslim and I talked with the Muslim Chaplain several times prior to us getting married. During our conversations he continually stressed the "are you sure" issue. There were 2 witnesses, my girlfriend and his best friend (another inmate). I wore what I wanted to wear, as long as it conformed to the rules and reg's. I had to mail his wedding band to him prior to the ceremony. It was a 5-minute ceremony. It was short and sweet.

jr's girl
08-06-2004, 04:48 PM
I got married in Oneida Correctional Facility 6/25/04, here are some answers to the original question:
1. Did you have any counsling.....yes, i talked to his councellor for about 10 min.

2. How long did the whole process take...you apply for the marriage lic. and councel the same day, all together it took about 20-30 min

3. Did you have to find your own minister...yes, non of the faclities clergy men would do it because we arent the same religon, so i had to call the justice of the peace to book an appointment

4. Were you allowed any flowers or disposable camera..you can order flowers, they gave me an approved vendor list for flowers and cake, but the vender has to deliver them INTO the facility themself....no cameras allowed, although they do give free photos out IF the inmate assigned to that job agrees to do it, he didnt want to leave his program the day of my wedding so we got no pics.

5. How many guests were allowed to be there,...2 witnesses (one for each of us, we used 2 inmates)

6. What was the process to get the marriage license...he had to write a letter to the super and so did i stating our intent to be married, then i spoke to his councellor to make an appointment for councelling and signing for the license.

7. What were the costs you had to pay...i think it was $30 for the license and $40 for the judge...it wasnt that long ago and i forgot already....sorry, its been a rough summer.

8. What were the two of you allowed to wear. same thing you wear for visits...nothing too revealing or questionable

9. Were you allowed to bring a wedding band in for him or did it have to be mailed and what was the value limit...i was allowed to bring inthe bands, after the ceremony we got to visit for about an hour or so, then he had to go to the package room to get a license for the ring, they asked for a reciept but i didnt have it...they let him keep it anyway, but bring one to be safe. they also tested it to make sure it was real gold, why??i dont know...is there a value limit?? i'm not sure...you would have to check with the facility.

hope that helps..OH and weddings are usually on fridays which is good because oneidas visiting hours are on weekends and holidays, so it was nice to get to see him for 2 days afterwards. if you do decide to have cake brought in you also have to supply the paper plates, forks, etc... we opted not to have them as my budget is tight enough as it is and we are going to re-new our vows once he comes home so that our friends and family can be there to celebrate. good luck and congrats to anyone getting married in the future and to those that have already "taken the plunge" it sure was worth it for me and i wouldnt change a thing.

stormierain
08-12-2004, 07:25 AM
i was married at eastern max this year. it was very nice. it was small, but we had the b side visiting room all to ourselfs for most of the day. the bad thig was the cake was very over priced!!!!!
stormie

Mrs. JV
08-24-2004, 07:52 AM
7) GET MARRIED!!! (during the week only)

ADD ON: This depends on the facility.... for instance, Elmira only performs weddings on Sunday's (unless you arrange to bring in your own pastor, in which case you can get married on any day..... they (Elmira) prefer to do it *their way* on Sunday's but this CAN be arranged if you persue it.)

DeMariee
08-26-2004, 09:37 PM
Albion has a legal office that is staffed by inmates that know all the laws - when I was in Albion a friend had the same situation and I remember that they needed permission from both superintendants at each facility and they had to prove that they had children together...the best way to get that done is to use the Albion facility it is much better than any men's facility in the legal department. Tell his girl to drop a tab to the legal department and they will help both of them with the paperwork.

I will warn you this will take a loooong time to do - if she is short it might have to be done on the outside - but then she will need permission from parole :(

SashazZone
09-09-2004, 08:49 AM
Hi everyone,
I want to get married to my guy. He is in ORleans and I know that every jail is different but I was wondering if you knew the process and what you have to do. Thanks, your answers will be of great help

Ro's Girl
09-09-2004, 09:20 AM
Hi everyone,
I want to get married to my guy. He is in ORleans and I know that every jail is different but I was wondering if you knew the process and what you have to do. Thanks, your answers will be of great help
Congrats:)

I just started the process myself last month. You and your guy have to write a letter to the Superintendent of Orleans. He will then get a response at which point you have to call the FRP Counselor to set up a date for an interview to review his sentence etc. (it took almost 4 weeks to get a response, I thought it would take longer). Once you have the interview, you choose a date, and find someone to marry you. the is the jist of it. The longest part is the wait for the interview, Auburn says it may take up to 6 months.

There is also a Marriage Forum that you can look into on this website.

Hope that helps

K-love
09-13-2004, 06:43 PM
Hi I want to get married to my guy who is locked up in Lyon Mountain Correctional Facility, i was wondering if anybody who did get married behined prison walls, can you give me some advice and information?

zeekswife
09-23-2004, 04:57 PM
Yes green this is where I will be getting married.only thing is I got the package and they are asking for $40 just to prosses the papers Im scared but I will be ok becauseI love him. Did you notice on the packet they tell you after you get married you can not put in for a tranfer to a facility that has trailer visits, If so what are you doing as far as that is concern and are you two puting in for a tranfer anyway or what? Thanks and congrat's

davesgirl4eva
10-10-2004, 06:00 PM
Both my fiance and I were married before. He no longer has a copy of his divorce papers and I have to get divorced. What benefits are there to being married while someone is in prison? We plan on doing it when he gets out but I think he wants us to get married while he is in prison first. He was sentenced to 1-3 yrs. By the time I get all of the information and get my divorce, will it be worth the hassle to do it twice???? I love him with all my heart and I want to be his wife but is getting married while he is in prison the right thing to do??

lethajoiner
11-26-2004, 10:49 PM
I finally was married 11-18-04 at Wende after waiting 4 months for his social security card. I ended up getting his birth certificate, that was the easy part. They were giving me a hard time with that ss card. I finally called cheektowaga and asked them what the hold up was they said the prison waits and sends all the applications at once and they are back logged and understaffed but she asked me my husbands name and see what she could do I swear to you 2 days later that card was at Wende, angels come in different ways. I got the paper and called the "wedding planner" and was married 1 week later.

PRETTYJAY1223
11-28-2004, 04:38 PM
I WAS WONDEING WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET MARRY IN SING SING CORRECTIONAL. COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME I'M NEW HERE. THANK YOU

amstaffdad
12-21-2004, 01:43 AM
I was married in Clinton Correctional Facility in 1989, and was a great day, except the siren went off in middle of vows for the volunteer fire department, so iI guess my ceremony lasted longer than most! Also I was there when the FRP was revamped and also was part of the reason why lifers now have the right to be married in New York State (was part of the legal research team that filed the initial petition to courts under equal protection of the laws) Apparently zNew York State actually got it that a married lifer with something to look forward to was a better candidate for a quieter prison system than a group of men with nothing to gain or lose.

PhillyGurLL
01-10-2005, 07:51 AM
I WAS WONDEING WHAT I HAVE TO DO TO GET MARRY IN SING SING CORRECTIONAL. COULD SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP ME I'M NEW HERE. THANK YOU

My man is at Sing-Sing Correctional and we both wrote the superintendent on December 27th. He had a reply by December 30th. It was approved for us to get a marriage license on February 10th, 2005. I am not sure what happens after that, but I know we have to be married within 60days of 2/10/05. So the first thing you both should do is write the superintendent.

momowatson
01-29-2005, 10:40 AM
Hey All, I got married in Adirondack C.F. in October 2004, all I had to do was send a letter to the Superintendent of the Facility, (my husband also sent one) and then they let my husband know that it was approved. Once approved they sent him a letter that he sent to me stating when the marriage would be held and when to come in to receive the marriage certificated. It was a two-day process, the marriage license on one day and the marriage took place on the next day. It was nice because that was the first time that I saw him twice in one weekend, and then being that I had to stay at a hotel which was close to the facilitiy it made me feel like I was so close to him it completely set my mind at ease. My cousin and I stayed up till about 3 that morning just talking about him and how we were getting married. I was supposed to be at the jail at 9am to get married, the visits started at 7:45 a.m. I didn't wake up unitl like 8:40 am. I had to rush to do my hair, rush to get dressed and my cousin laughed at me the whole time. It was so funny. I couldn't believe that I was late on my wedding day. I ended up not doing my hair the way I wanted to, I got a slight run in my stockings and everything. But being that there were 5 other inmates getting married that day, everything went okay. It ended up being the best day of my 2004. I thank god for that, even though he comes home in 2007, we plan to get remarried on the same date (October 24) in 2010. My message to all getting married in Correctional facilities, If it is in your heart to marry that man, don't let nobody I MEAN NOBODY deter YOUR decision, it is your life to live and your heart to give. That is my motto, my whole family turned their backs on me but you know what through God's grace I am still standing Firm in my decision. I feel that opinions are like a$$holes, everybody got one and everybody is a critic. Love Life and Live it to the fullest.
Peace
Mrs. Watson.

JES_Wifey
02-27-2005, 02:40 PM
I got married at Sullivan CF. It took me 2 tuesday visit to get a date and approval. You have to meet with the counselor. Fill out the marriage certificate application there on the visit floor and the counselor handles the rest. We had a beautiful wedding. All of his immediate family was there. My friend was there and a few of his friends from the inside also came out for a visit. We took tons of pictures. The funny part was I was REALLY nervous and with my luck, that day was the fire alarm testing. So the alarm went off and we had to do the fire drill. I got back to the visit after 15 min and our ceremony started. You dream of a perfect wedding growing up, but when you're standing there with the man of your dreams, all the flowers and cakes and pretty decoration becomes meaningless. We send our love to everyone out there who are married or planning on getting married. It's a ripe thing so don't let it spoil!

PhillyGurLL
02-27-2005, 05:03 PM
I am getting married on April 2nd, 2005 at Sing-Sing C.F.

First he and I wrote a letter to the superintendent expressing why we wanted to get married. We sent both of our letters out the week of christmas. We were both sent a letter on Dec. 30th stating that the town clerk would be at the facility on Feb 11th, 1:00p.m. I had to be checked in and into the visiting room on the 11th of Feb. by 1:00pm. I had to have $40 in cash, a self-addressed legal sized envelope, and two forms of Identification. The envelope was for them to mail me my marriage licesne. They also gave me a paper to fill out where I had to put the names of my two witnesses. I have to mail the paper back to the prison a week before April 2nd. I had to call the revernd and let him know to be there on April 2nd at 9:00a.m. Now I am just waiting for April 2nd. I have to bring $60 cash for the revernd and my marriage license. My mom is going to go with me as a witness and his friend inside the prison is going to be the other witness. We get to have visit after the wedding.

One girl asked what are the benefits of getting married while in prison. Well, in New York after you have been married for 90days you can apply for a trailer visit. My man and I will be married 90days in July and he has a chance for parole in July. If he doesn't parole, his conditional release date is August 30th. So we will not get a trailer visit. Getting married in prison benefits us because it will be too much of a hassle to do it out here. His parents are deceased and my mom is terminally ill. We would have no one to attend or help with a wedding anyway. I'm glad we are getting married like this! We love eachother and that is all that counts!



1. Did you have any counsling
No, not really, they just made sure I knew what his charge was.
2. How long did the whole process take
We sent our first letter off to the superintendent December 23rd and we are getting married April 2nd. So three months. We did have the option to get married as early as Saturday, February 26, so that would of made it two months.

3. Did you have to find your own minister
No, they gave me a list of two that I could call.

4. Were you allowed any flowers or disposable camera
no flowers and no disposable cameras.

5. How many guests were allowed to be there
2, just the two witnesses.

6. What was the process to get the marriage license
show up to visit on the day and time they give you with $40 cash, a self-addressed legal sized envelope and Identification.

7. What were the costs you had to pay
$40 for the marriage license and $60 for the revernd, so total $100

8. What were the two of you allowed to wear
I have to follow the visitation rules and he has to wear his greens.

9. Were you allowed to bring a wedding band in for him or did it have to be mailed and what was the value limit
I better find this one out, but the limit said $150 - for his

bella
02-28-2005, 10:06 AM
Thanks for all the info you guys are posting

rywill
03-04-2005, 07:11 AM
Much to my surprise I have come across a Medium facility that only performs and allows for weddings once a year. Orleans performs marriages with only one day for each couple to be married. It is in May, and all couples must be approved by the beginning of April. I was informed by a couselor at Orleans that many Mediums will migrate to this format. He said that Wyoming is one. I ask when did that become effective for Wyoming because that was not the care in 2003 or 2004. He said at the beginning of this year.

So please be advised that you may need to be sensative to the time of year and facility that your love one is in because that opportunity to get married may only be available for a very short window.

All other items were the same such as:
1. Both parties must write Superintendent a letter.
(Keep it and short, and you really just need to inform them that you are requesting to be married according to directive #4201)
2. They refer to a marriage interview (it disclosed adult offense record and institutional record)
3. Date is given to get license with the town clerk (need driver license and birth certificate; if previously married you may need divorce papers)
4. Date given to get married (in NY you are eligible to may 24 hours after license) but date determined by facility
5. Many facilties only allow for Justice of the Peace to perform ceremony. (call th facility and ask if they allow for any other clergy to perform)

The time frame varies at each faciltity---but from what I have seen, all the above steps can be accomplished within 30-60 days.

BrandNew05
03-10-2005, 12:49 PM
My honey is at Groveland and we plan on getting married this year. We are sending our letters to the super at his facility this week. I wanted to know if anyone has any information on weddings at Groveland and what their ring limit is? Please help. The process seems to be a short one (under 6 months). All the information that I have read has been very helpful for New York in general, but I would love to have some specifics on Groveland Corr Facility in Livingston County, NY. Thank you in advance for your help! :idea:

shawnscutie
03-11-2005, 11:16 AM
Can you tell me where to begin in the marriage process. My man is in Wyoming. Who do i get in touch w/ first. Then after that. How long does it take? Anything you can tell me will help.


Thanks
Melissa

TNC
03-12-2005, 08:45 AM
Can you tell me where to begin in the marriage process. My man is in Wyoming. Who do i get in touch w/ first. Then after that. How long does it take? Anything you can tell me will help.


Thanks
Melissa
Much to my surprise I have come across a Medium facility that only performs and allows for weddings once a year. Orleans performs marriages with only one day for each couple to be married. It is in May, and all couples must be approved by the beginning of April. I was informed by a couselor at Orleans that many Mediums will migrate to this format. He said that Wyoming is one. I ask when did that become effective for Wyoming because that was not the care in 2003 or 2004. He said at the beginning of this year.

So please be advised that you may need to be sensative to the time of year and facility that your love one is in because that opportunity to get married may only be available for a very short window.

All other items were the same such as:
1. Both parties must write Superintendent a letter.
(Keep it and short, and you really just need to inform them that you are requesting to be married according to directive #4201)
2. They refer to a marriage interview (it disclosed adult offense record and institutional record)
3. Date is given to get license with the town clerk (need driver license and birth certificate; if previously married you may need divorce papers)
4. Date given to get married (in NY you are eligible to may 24 hours after license) but date determined by facility
5. Many facilties only allow for Justice of the Peace to perform ceremony. (call th facility and ask if they allow for any other clergy to perform)

The time frame varies at each faciltity---but from what I have seen, all the above steps can be accomplished within 30-60 days.

TNC
03-12-2005, 08:48 AM
My honey is at Groveland and we plan on getting married this year. We are sending our letters to the super at his facility this week. I wanted to know if anyone has any information on weddings at Groveland and what their ring limit is? Please help. The process seems to be a short one (under 6 months). All the information that I have read has been very helpful for New York in general, but I would love to have some specifics on Groveland Corr Facility in Livingston County, NY. Thank you in advance for your help! :idea:
It doesnt seem at this time we have any specific information on Groveland. I hope that as you go through this with this specific prison you will post here for others in the future

Manzanita
03-12-2005, 09:03 AM
Brandnew05
Each prison has different rules on how much to spend on the ring, but I know it has to be a plain band and under $100. We spent $70...I would call Groveland and ask them. My husband told me what I could spend on jewelry. Maybe someone in NY can tell you if they were actually married at this Prison. ladycalista68 is a member who goes to this prison. Maybe she can tell you. Yet, the rules posted which it seems you have read already -are basically the same for all prisons and it can take from 3 months to 6 months for the whole process.

PowandVonne
03-12-2005, 10:50 AM
I got married at Cape Vincent Correctional Facility Nov. 18th, 2004. Pow and I both had to write a letter to the superintendent requesting permission. Then I got a letter from his counselor letting me know the steps. I went up the day before we got married, and met with his counselor one on one. She went over this file with me, his sentence, crime, tickets etc. She then gave me his part of the marriage application he filled out, and took it to the town clerk for me to fill out the rest. Then I had to go BACK to the facility later that afternoon where the Town Clerk came and brought the marriage liscence for him and I both to sign. Then I had to go back the next day to get married, because we have to wait atleast 24 hrs to get married after the license is issued. I wore a white wedding dress that was a halter, and I had a white balero jacket, it was really really nice. He wore a nice white coogi sweater and of course his greens. His counselor pissed me off though because she told me I could bring something for him to wear for the ceremony, but I just have to take it with me when I leave. She called me 2 weeks before and told me that I couldnt, so that pissed me off. The Town Justice married us, and he was really, really nice. He stalled the ceremony a bit so my baby and I could have some time together, because after we get married, we dont have much time together. We only had 30 min together after the ceremony, and my husband had purchased 6 pictures. I mean we had to make the best of a bad situation. Thats why we are determined to renew our vows with a big wedding once he is released.

Mrs. JV
03-12-2005, 10:55 AM
1. Did you have any counsling

Yes, we requested pre-marital counseling with the prison chaiplan, which we both enjoyed and felt we benefitted from. We also had several meetings with the pastor we choose to marry us, so that we could get to know him, and him us, as well as plan the ceremony.

2. How long did the whole process take

We weren't in a rush so we took our time. We wanted to have pre-marital counseling first, and we wanted to be married on a specific date. we started planning about 6-9 months before, but again I stress, it was our choice to take this much time.

3. Did you have to find your own minister

We wanted to bring in our own choise of a pastor because we wanted to have someone of our own beliefs marry us. We also wanted time to develop a relationship with the pastor who married us. We did not want to be married by a "stranger".

4. Were you allowed any flowers or disposable camera

I wore a flower in my hair; other then that, no.

5. How many guests were allowed to be there

Two witnesses allowed.

6. What was the process to get the marriage license

We met with the "marriage lady" at the prison who handled all the paperwork.


7. What were the costs you had to pay

We paid for the licence and we choose to pay the pastor as well. I do not remember the exact amounts though, sorry!

8. What were the two of you allowed to wear

I wore a white dress and he wore a white dress shirt with a black tie. (and his green pants).


9. Were you allowed to bring a wedding band in for him or did it have to be mailed and what was the value limit

I brought his band and the reciept in on the day of the wedding. We were allowed to spend up to $150 on his wedding band. My husbands is not a totally plain band, it just couldn't have any stones or protusions. But his was allowed to have engraving and to be two-toned (white and yellow gold). The shape of it kinda looks like three rings together (does that makes sense?). The two outer "rings" are yellow gold and the middle one is white gold.

PhillyGurLL
03-18-2005, 06:35 AM
Sing-Sing Correctional Facility in Ossining, New York allows his wedding band to be up to $150.00.

Vlfl
03-22-2005, 01:20 PM
Has anyone been married at upstate in malone?

jabbasgirl33
03-23-2005, 01:26 AM
I'm getting married at Auburn CF on April 16 anyone have any information on what my Big Day! will be like.Will i be able to bring his ring with me or do i have to mail it ahead of time? Thank's for any help that anyone can give me.

Manzanita
03-24-2005, 09:54 PM
Jabbasgirl,

you have to bring the ring BEFORE hand, and he will have it there the day you get married. Bring the receipt for the ring too!

Congrats and Best to you girlie :)

Cruz'Girl
05-12-2005, 05:08 PM

Cruz'Girl
05-12-2005, 05:10 PM
Has anyone ever gotten married at Collins Correctional? Any info would really help.. They seem really nice but looks are deceiving

Manzanita
05-25-2005, 05:28 AM
if you read above you will see collins info.

BrandNew05
05-25-2005, 08:37 PM
:thumbsup: Saturday, June 25, 2005 is the day that I will marry my sweetheart. :thumbsup:

I would like to thank everyone for all the helpful information posted. The experience was pretty much what everyone eles had to go through. During the process I found out that this is Groveland Annex first marriage in three years and after reading the info on PTO it seems you ladies know more than the people who work at the facility.

Anyways...we sent our letters the week of March 13, had our interview on May 19 where they went over his "rap sheet" and we signed the license. We were able to pick our own date and time as long as it was during regular visiting hours and we gave a two week notice. We were also able to pick our own offiant. I have decided to wear a gown, but not white, and I purchased him a shirt and shoes to wear with his lovely green pants. The only thing we're waiting to find out now is where in the facility the ceremony is going to be held. There were a couple of options, we suggested out in the yard of the visiting area, but I guess the actual location will be determined by the facility. We are allowed two witnesses ( we decided on our best friends) and I can bring the rings in the the day of the ceremony with the receipt. The ring limit is $150.00 and we all know (no stones or protusions-any thing sticking out from the ring).

So in all the process was painless and the staff at the facility are very kind, they may not have all the answers, but at least they are pleasent to talk to. The hardess part of it all is waiting for the actually "DAY" to come. I love my baby so much and all of this has brought us closer together. We always try to keep God first and when we don't have the answer we pray about it and it all becomes clear. I thank God for this man at least four to five times a day. This process has only taken about three months, but this relationship is 8+ years in the making and only getting better.
Thank You! :)

capricorn29
06-03-2005, 04:44 PM
Anyone know about marriages in Barehill Correctional? I am planning to ask my man and father of my 3 adorable kids of 12 yrs to marry me and I wanna make sure I know as much as possible before I really decide to actually get on with it. it's actually a surprise and he has no idea so if anyone knows please let me know.

babygurl919
06-27-2005, 05:16 PM
i would like to know about bare hill as well.. any info would be greatly appreciated.

LaChula24
07-08-2005, 03:18 PM
July 8, 2005

My wedding date is set for August. I need to know if I will receive the Marriage certificates on that same day? Or, do they get mailed? [I]

Manzanita
07-08-2005, 05:16 PM
lachula,

the marriage certificates are given out on a special day. Where I go, one day out of EACH month, so you must find out what day and it is usually a week day you will need to go, with a photo id. where are you getting married?

LaChula24
07-10-2005, 04:59 PM
I will be getting married at Downstate. I already wrote to the superintendent, and now I just have to wait until they either get back to me or too my fiance.


lachula,

the marriage certificates are given out on a special day. Where I go, one day out of EACH month, so you must find out what day and it is usually a week day you will need to go, with a photo id. where are you getting married?
I will be getting married at Downstate. I already wrote to the superintendent, and now I just have to wait until they either get back to me or too my fiance.

Manzanita
07-10-2005, 06:04 PM
hi,

I would suggest you find out the day they hand out the marriage certificates there. He is in Reception there?

here are the steps to follow...
Getting Married in a New York Prison?

As far as marriage goes in NEW YORK STATE...

1) Inmate must write to Superintendent of the facility requesting permission for marriage. You can also write to them.
2) Inmate gets a written statement of the exact process for that facility, they vary slightly from facility to facility.
3) Inmate gets permission.
4) Wife must call and schedule an interview, on a weekday with Correction Officer to go over inmate sentence and go over marriage license procedure.(meet during the week too) Ask as many questions as you want to.He will show you the inmates file and take you into a room to tell you what he was charged for as well.
5) Make arrangements with facility for ceremony and have official approved by facility.(Many ladies will refer a reverand to you, You can give them a fee if you would like like $50-100 for his services)

(In some facilities like Orleans, the cost for the license is $40 and $50 for the Judge (they wont allow Rev).

6) Get license so that it is valid for ceremony.($25.-50) (the facility provides usually, given on certain days of the week and month, he must ask when or it may be posted in the visiting area) Bring ID the day you sign your license!
7) GET MARRIED!!! (during the week some weekends in certain facilities)

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=109487

If you need Downstate Reception Info...go here:
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=107411

Or Downstate CF info:
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=82960

LaChula24
07-13-2005, 05:10 PM
July 13, 2005

Thank you for the information you had provided. To answer your question regarding if he is in reception -- he is not. He is in population. Also, I am aware that besides me writing to the superintendent he also has to do write a letter himself. He has mentioned to me based on other inmates there that has married there, that they provide on the same day the marriage license. Also, on that day of the marriage you could have either two witnesses that either are an inmate(s), friends, or family members. I would have to also bring all my information including his such as birth certificate, S.S. number, and an ID.
However, I have another question. Can you get married (if the facility permits it) on weekends? Such as a Saturday? I am aware that marriages are held once a month. Have you gotten married? If so, how was your experience?

Finally, this information that you had provided is very much helpful. It sort of gives me a heads up on what to expect and come forward with. Thank you!!!

hi,

I would suggest you find out the day they hand out the marriage certificates there. He is in Reception there?

here are the steps to follow...
Getting Married in a New York Prison?

As far as marriage goes in NEW YORK STATE...

1) Inmate must write to Superintendent of the facility requesting permission for marriage. You can also write to them.
2) Inmate gets a written statement of the exact process for that facility, they vary slightly from facility to facility.
3) Inmate gets permission.
4) Wife must call and schedule an interview, on a weekday with Correction Officer to go over inmate sentence and go over marriage license procedure.(meet during the week too) Ask as many questions as you want to.He will show you the inmates file and take you into a room to tell you what he was charged for as well.
5) Make arrangements with facility for ceremony and have official approved by facility.(Many ladies will refer a reverand to you, You can give them a fee if you would like like $50-100 for his services)

(In some facilities like Orleans, the cost for the license is $40 and $50 for the Judge (they wont allow Rev).

6) Get license so that it is valid for ceremony.($25.-50) (the facility provides usually, given on certain days of the week and month, he must ask when or it may be posted in the visiting area) Bring ID the day you sign your license!
7) GET MARRIED!!! (during the week some weekends in certain facilities)

http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=109487

If you need Downstate Reception Info...go here:
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=107411

Or Downstate CF info:
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=82960

Manzanita
07-13-2005, 05:47 PM
Hello,

your welcome :)
some of the facilities do not allow marriages on weekends, some do, like elmira, but I do not know about Downstate. Mine did not allow it. Maybe Downstate is different from most of them then...Sorry about that one. I also never heard of them giving the license the same day as the marriage. I was saying that the license is given out once a month. But the marriages are not just once a month. But you should go by what your husband says then. Good Luck.

LaChula24
07-14-2005, 09:43 AM
July 14, 2005

Hi...
I agree, but most facilities have different rules based on concerning marriages and licenses. I know that whatever he receives as far as notifying him regarding this matter -- he would be the one to tell me so I can go forward with it. Anyhow, I'm very happy that this is finally taking a step further in our lives because sometimes in life things like these that occurs makes a person realize how much one another means to each other. Once again. thank you for the valuable information.



Hello,

your welcome :)
some of the facilities do not allow marriages on weekends, some do, like elmira, but I do not know about Downstate. Mine did not allow it. Maybe Downstate is different from most of them then...Sorry about that one. I also never heard of them giving the license the same day as the marriage. I was saying that the license is given out once a month. But the marriages are not just once a month. But you should go by what your husband says then. Good Luck.

Manzanita
07-14-2005, 04:42 PM
Lachula...

Like I thought, the rules for licenses are the same for all facilities ...and most rules of those I listed above are for ALL NYS facilities with MINOR changes...like the ring amount and the days you can get married.

NY State marriage licenses have to be issued no LESS than 24 hours in advance of ceremony (they actually type the time you received it on the license) and it is good for 60-90 days. And it is given out only on certain days during the week only.

I hope this helps, you are free to talk with the ladies here in NY :)

LaChula24
07-14-2005, 05:18 PM
Therefore, the marriage licenses have to be issued before the actual marriage date? Or after? In other words, the date of the marriage would I have to have these licenses or after? Because, as you are telling me they are not issued on the same day, and that I do understand.
Lachula...

Like I thought, the rules for licenses are the same for all facilities ...and most rules of those I listed above are for ALL NYS facilities with MINOR changes...like the ring amount and the days you can get married.



I hope this helps, you are free to talk with the ladies here in NY :)

Manzanita
07-14-2005, 05:40 PM
Before the marriage date...24 hours before, at least. You should call and ask when they issue them, once you have approval and meet his counselor you are good to go ahead.

LaChula24
07-14-2005, 05:48 PM
Thank you for the information. Take care, and good night.


Before the marriage date...24 hours before, at least. You should call and ask when they issue them, once you have approval and meet his counselor you are good to go ahead.

4MyBabyBoy
07-16-2005, 08:23 AM
we have just gotten a response back from counselor after both writing to the sup. only took a week, now i have to call and set up the appt. with his counselor for an interview.

LaChula24
07-16-2005, 08:42 AM
July 16, 2005

Wow, that was fast in responding back to both of you. So, does that mean that you both would be getting marry around the months of August or September? Congratulations Grrl!!!
As for myself, we are waiting for there response soon. We just about a week ago or so, mailed our letters to the superintendent. Therefore, we should be expecting some information soon. Anyhow, thank you very much for your response. It has been helpful for me, because now I know what to expect. Is your husband incarcerated in the State if New York or Jersey?



we have just gotten a response back from counselor after both writing to the sup. only took a week, now i have to call and set up the appt. with his counselor for an interview.

Manzanita
07-16-2005, 08:49 AM
Great News Lara! my process was so quick too :)

Manzanita
07-16-2005, 08:50 AM
Your welcome and Good Luck LaChula.

4MyBabyBoy
07-16-2005, 09:00 AM
Thanks Jen!

LaChula, he is in NY, in eastern max.

On the paper he sent it says that he has to have 30.00 in his account for the license at the time of the interview and in his letter he didn't say if he had it or not and i'm broke....i wanted to call and see if we can schedule it for Friday since i'm going up there, but i have to wait for his okay so i guess i ll just try to schedule it for my next visit some time in august. i'll keep posted with how my process goes...i'd be glad to be of any help.
:)

Manzanita
07-17-2005, 08:10 AM
ammended rules*~How to get Married in a NYS CF~*

Getting Married in a New York Prison?

As far as marriage goes in NEW YORK STATE...

1) Inmate must write to Superintendent of the facility requesting permission for marriage. You can also write to them.
2) Inmate gets a written statement of the exact process for that facility, they vary slightly from facility to facility.
3) Inmate gets permission.
4) Wife must call and schedule an interview on a weekday with Correction Officer to go over inmate sentence and go over marriage license procedure.(this meeting is during the week) Ask as many questions as you want to. He will show you the inmates file and take you into a room to tell you what he was charged for as well.
5) Make arrangements with facility for ceremony and have official approved by facility.(Many ladies will refer a reverand to you, or you will use a town clerk, you can give them a fee if you would like like $50-100 for his services)

(In some facilities like Orleans, the cost for the license is $40 and $50 for the Judge (they wont allow Rev).

6) NY State marriage licenses have to be issued no LESS than 24 hours in advance of ceremony (they actually type the time you received it on the license) This is good for 60 days. Get license ($25.-50)
*The facility provides this, and it is given on certain days of the week and month. He must ask when or it may be posted in the visiting area. You have to check, being that some facilities allow this at specific times only!
*Bring ID the day you sign your license! and if you have been married before, divorce papers from that previous marriage.
7) GET MARRIED!!! (during the week some weekends in certain facilities, so you must check first)

Note:
His ring cannot have any stones in it and some facilities require a cap on the price of the ring and a RECEIPT! (for example: $150) You must ask the facility about this cap.



**

When writing the letter to ask for permision to get married, keep it simple, like state who you are, about how long you know eachother, how it developed and you would like to get married now because you are committed, and thank you...that's it, a few paragraphs and that is all. Then mail it to the Superintendant.


**

To Change your last name:

First change your Social Security Card...
then your license or NY state I.D...and then whatever you want to, like the bank, credit cards, utility bills, work id....Just bring your marriage certificate and old id and it should be changed ok.


**
Yes, you can get married in a county jail. All you need is the license and approval form the superintendent.

--

If any of this is different where you go, please let me know

LaChula24
07-30-2005, 09:56 AM
July 30, 2005

Hi, from New York, and my husband is located at Downstate Correctional facility. My question is: I would like to know if it is true or fiction that before proceeding with the marriage if both parties (the imate and wife) have to go through a physical check-up?Or is the physical check-up only conducted afterwards for Trailer visits ONLY? Has anyone experienced this procedure prior to there marriage or afterwards for Trailer visits? The reason why Iask is because I over heard a commentary concerning this issue. It was not clear to me, because I never heard this before. I am aware that the inmates due have to go through physical check-ups once they request Trailer visits, but for the wife to go through this procedure -- I'm not sure about this matter. Can anyone explain to me this matter.

ammended rules*~How to get Married in a NYS CF~*

Getting Married in a New York Prison?

As far as marriage goes in NEW YORK STATE...

1) Inmate must write to Superintendent of the facility requesting permission for marriage. You can also write to them.
2) Inmate gets a written statement of the exact process for that facility, they vary slightly from facility to facility.
3) Inmate gets permission.
4) Wife must call and schedule an interview on a weekday with Correction Officer to go over inmate sentence and go over marriage license procedure.(this meeting is during the week) Ask as many questions as you want to. He will show you the inmates file and take you into a room to tell you what he was charged for as well.
5) Make arrangements with facility for ceremony and have official approved by facility.(Many ladies will refer a reverand to you, or you will use a town clerk, you can give them a fee if you would like like $50-100 for his services)

(In some facilities like Orleans, the cost for the license is $40 and $50 for the Judge (they wont allow Rev).

6) NY State marriage licenses have to be issued no LESS than 24 hours in advance of ceremony (they actually type the time you received it on the license) This is good for 60 days. Get license ($25.-50)
*The facility provides this, and it is given on certain days of the week and month. He must ask when or it may be posted in the visiting area. You have to check, being that some facilities allow this at specific times only!
*Bring ID the day you sign your license! and if you have been married before, divorce papers from that previous marriage.
7) GET MARRIED!!! (during the week some weekends in certain facilities, so you must check first)

Note:
His ring cannot have any stones in it and some facilities require a cap on the price of the ring and a RECEIPT! (for example: $150) You must ask the facility about this cap.



**

When writing the letter to ask for permision to get married, keep it simple, like state who you are, about how long you know eachother, how it developed and you would like to get married now because you are committed, and thank you...that's it, a few paragraphs and that is all. Then mail it to the Superintendant.


**

To Change your last name:

First change your Social Security Card...
then your license or NY state I.D...and then whatever you want to, like the bank, credit cards, utility bills, work id....Just bring your marriage certificate and old id and it should be changed ok.


**
Yes, you can get married in a county jail. All you need is the license and approval form the superintendent.

--

If any of this is different where you go, please let me know

MichaelsBoo
07-30-2005, 12:12 PM
July 30, 2005

Hi, from New York, and my husband is located at Downstate Correctional facility. My question is: I would like to know if it is true or fiction that before proceeding with the marriage if both parties (the imate and wife) have to go through a physical check-up?Or is the physical check-up only conducted afterwards for Trailer visits ONLY? Has anyone experienced this procedure prior to there marriage or afterwards for Trailer visits? The reason why Iask is because I over heard a commentary concerning this issue. It was not clear to me, because I never heard this before. I am aware that the inmates due have to go through physical check-ups once they request Trailer visits, but for the wife to go through this procedure -- I'm not sure about this matter. Can anyone explain to me this matter.
I married my husband while he was in Sing Sing and we had our first trailer there also. I did not have to have a physical to get married or have a trailer.

Manzanita
07-30-2005, 02:47 PM
lachula,

no check up is required. Not for him either. When he goes down he will have to give them a urine sample and when he goes back up he will have to do that again. that is all.

Where I go, they give you a paper telling you about HIV, but I am sure your man had that test done already, mine has and he sent me the results, so you should be good to go:) If You want to talk to a bunch of NY ladies about Trailers come to NY :)
Jen...
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=159

LaChula24
07-30-2005, 07:30 PM
July 30, 2005

Thank you both for the information. I knew for a fact something was missing in this piece when I over heard this detailed information. Quite frankly I never even heard that any facility conducts physical check-ups to the wife before trailer visits. Even friends that have been married to an inmate -- have never gone through this. However, I really appreciate your help, support, and informative sources. Thank you!


lachula,

no check up is required. Not for him either. When he goes down he will have to give them a urine sample and when he goes back up he will have to do that again. that is all.

Where I go, they give you a paper telling you about HIV, but I am sure your man had that test done already, mine has and he sent me the results, so you should be good to go:) If You want to talk to a bunch of NY ladies about Trailers come to NY :)
Jen...
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=159

lyteloclife
08-18-2005, 06:07 PM
Hey PTO.
This is a little info about marriage @ Riverview C.F. The first thing that has to be done is the letters to the superintendent, from both parties.Then bride & groom must fill out licence applications sent to you by the counselor.When the counselor recieves both applications and birth certificates,he will schedule you for a mandatory meeting with him.At this time he will return douments and send you to the county clerk to file for your license,wich has to be obtained at east 24hrs before the ceromony.:D To me the hardest thing to do is get to Ogdenburg,NY, on a week day.But the city clerk is in the vicinity of the facility,so that makes that aspect easier.Good luck to any engaged PTO members!:thumbsup:

brazytay
08-22-2005, 07:12 PM
Hi my date for counsel is sept 12 i jdid'nt see any one post about hotels or transportation if you know of any please let me know i'm going to attica ny and i got to come back to ny please let me know as soon as possible

barbie16118
08-28-2005, 07:00 PM
ny yankee you are so correct about the frp guy at attica. that man is the rudest person i have ever met. the frp is suppose to keep families together that man is definalty not the right man for the job.i am getting married at attica and i find their rules a bit ridiculous. me and my fiance have 3 children and they cant be there. i am having a really hard time dealing with this. to all others who are getting married in a facility good luck to you and may you all have a blessed life together.

barbie16118
08-28-2005, 07:22 PM
Hi my date for counsel is sept 12 i jdid'nt see any one post about hotels or transportation if you know of any please let me know i'm going to attica ny and i got to come back to ny please let me know as soon as possible
the attican motel is 5 minutes from attica and they have transportation for you there. the prices are very low to.

4MyBabyBoy
09-06-2005, 08:29 PM
Now that we are about to be married...

The process was very quick and easy with the exception that the marriage "interviews" are only done the last Wednesday of the month.
First we both wrote the Sup., within 1-2 weeks we had a response, next I called his counselor who also happens to coordinate the weddings and FRP's there at Eastern max, we had our interview on the last Wed. of August. There she took the info down on the marriage license App. which she will take care of, had him tell me his sentence in front of her and that was it. He paid 30.00 for the license out of his account. She put the calendar in front of me and asked me which date I wanted...they do the weddings there on thursdays and fridays every week. I picked and she gave me the phone number for the reverend. Also, it was my choice whether or not she recommended one or not. I took the one she had to avoid any hassles.
I called the Reverend and the date is all set. Now we just have to wait...and that's always the hard part.

LaChula24
10-28-2005, 04:32 PM
:confused: Good Evening to all!
I would first like to say that I was married yesterday at Downstate Correctional Facility.
Now my question is regarding the trailer visits. As I and my Husband were talking -- he had mentioned that once the papers for trailer visits are submitted to Albany that I will have someone visit me where I currently live. I would like to know if that is true? Is it true that before the Trailer Visits (Are approved) does someone visits you at your place of living?

outlawsdeb
12-10-2005, 02:25 PM
Has anyone been married by proxy and there man is a "guest" in NY?? Did DOC accept it?? Will they?? I am curious, I know it was talked about a long time ago I just would like to have an update.....Thanks all!!!:)

HeSoHandsome
12-11-2005, 03:06 PM
I am totally unfamiliar with that guest thing. Hopefully someone who does have some answers will follow. All I can say is I hope someone is able to help you with your questions. :o

outlawsdeb
12-11-2005, 06:31 PM
the "guest" thing was sarcasm at it's best:p

HeSoHandsome
12-11-2005, 06:56 PM
Oh, no wonder I didn't get it. :D If I got this right, someone wants to marry someone in NY by proxy. I know the counselor would know, for sure.

NYYankee
12-16-2005, 06:22 AM
I searched this thread for info on getting married at Clinton. I need to know what you actually had to do. Did you write a letter to the superintendent for permission and if so do you still have that name and address? Thank you for this info, it is for a friend.

LaChula-Yes you will have a home visit before you are completely approved for a FRP visit. They will check your ID and ask a few questions. It is fairly painless. If you live out of state this step is skipped. I hope the process goes smoothly for you.:)

Ken'sWife
12-16-2005, 09:07 AM
New York State does not recognize marriage by proxy, DOCS or otherwise. Unless New York State changes the law and I doubt that will happen.

4MyBabyBoy
12-16-2005, 06:07 PM
I searched this thread for info on getting married at Clinton. I need to know what you actually had to do. Did you write a letter to the superintendent for permission and if so do you still have that name and address? Thank you for this info, it is for a friend.

LaChula-Yes you will have a home visit before you are completely approved for a FRP visit. They will check your ID and ask a few questions. It is fairly painless. If you live out of state this step is skipped. I hope the process goes smoothly for you.:)

According to this site(http://criminaljustice.state.ny.us/crimnet/ojsa/agdir/agydoc-24.htm) it says that Dale Artus is the super at Clinton. I believe the first step in getting married at any location in Ny is to write the super. When you send the letter all you have to write is Attn: Superintendent...it's the same address that's used for inmate correspondence.
Hope this helps.

NYYankee
12-21-2005, 12:17 PM
Just what I needed to know ! Thanks for taking the time 4mybabyboy!!:)

BTru2Me
12-23-2005, 11:31 PM
Hi!Can anyone tell me how it is to get married at Great Meadow CF?Specifically,the length of time it takes to get a date once you are approved & what happens the actual day?Thanks a bunch!!
Take Care,B

LaChula24
01-13-2006, 07:11 AM
Happy New Year To All...
My husband is currently at Downstate Correctional Facility in NY. He has been there for 2 years, and never has gotten into any kind of trouble. However, thispast Tuesday an Officer has started some conflict with him, which made him end up in the "Box." In thirty days he will have to see someone of higher authority who is in charge of the officers. My main concern is, would he get transfered? Would they give him another chance? I cannot see myself being away from him 7-9 hours away. I'm already feeling the heat and think ahead of time without proper information to sustain. I'm so worried that it is getting me sick. Now I could imagine and deeply sympathize with what thousands and millions of women such as wifes, Mothers, Sisters, and any other women that suffers with a love one incarcerated. Me being his wife, hearing this news from my Mother-in-law, feels like I have received a beat down.
Finally, I'm trying to reach out to anyone that can help me with this situation. Anything from advice to emotional support.

Thank You! :(

RoRiveter17
02-06-2006, 05:50 PM
I wasn't sure if anyon had any experience with getting married in Green Haven CF? I know my guy is requesting information on his end. I would just like to get a woman's perspective since I am unsure if we should wait or do it while he is in. Thanks

Janets
02-10-2006, 09:44 PM
Hy everyone,
I got married at Greene correctional facilty. They were very nice there. I was able to bring in flowers and have 2 witnesses and I was allowed a visit of 5 hours after that. The Co that was there sat on the other side of the room and let us be. He is my long lost love from years ago and if he didnt end up there i would have never found him again if anyone has any questions just let me know

Matilhda
02-11-2006, 10:52 AM
Hello All,

This is my first time on this site and I want to say thank you to everyone who posted their experiences. My guy is in Green Haven and we are planning to get married, I am writing the letter to the Superintendent right now.

Honestly I am a little nervous, I just wanted to know if anyone has gotten married at Green Haven before and what your experience was like.

Again thank you all for sharing and allaying some of my fears.

smile12856
02-18-2006, 05:58 PM
My fiancée is at Wyoming. We both wrote to the super to get permission to get married in late January. His counselor called me this week to set up an interview. I set up the appointment but my fiancée tells me I can waive the interview if I want to. I have copies of most of his records, his indictments, etc so there's nothing she can tell me that I don't already know. The interview would be a hassle, I'd have to take a day off work, travel the six hours there and back, I'm hoping I can waive it. Has anyone else not attended the interview?

kandycane83
02-23-2006, 12:45 AM
hello every one. im very new to this sight but i will like to get some information on getting married at livingston correctional facility. my abby wrote to the superintendent a couple of times but has not gotten a reply so he decide to write to the marrige counceler which told him he first has to be put on a 90 day probation period first. i also know the fee is $150. i will like to know is there a limite on the rings? are we allowed to have a witnes?

Chula0422
03-06-2006, 05:25 AM
1. Did you have any counseling No
2. How long did the whole process take arrangements about a month the ceremony 3 minutes
3. Did you have to find your own minister No one was provided
4. Were you allowed any flowers or disposable camera No
5. How many guests were allowed to be there 2
6. What was the process to get the marriage license The town clerk came the day before the ceremony and filled out the paper work
7. What were the costs you had to pay 50 for the Judge and 50 for the license
8. What were the two of you allowed to wear He had a Armani shit and those beautiful hot green pants I wore a light pink suit
9. Were you allowed to bring a wedding band in for him or did it have to be mailed and what was the value limit Being at Mt. McGregor camp We had a wedding cake and I made steak and shrimp for lunch. It was I was allowed to bring it to him through the package room amount 100.00

What made it beautiful was the meaning behind it all. When I left that day I was married to the love of my life. So after all is said and done it was worth it all. I had announcement made Thur Vistaprint.com (great prices and wonderful quality) it simply stated that on Feb 19th He and I exchanged our wedding vows and pledged our love for eternity and beyond. I sent them along with a picture from the wedding to our family and friends. I had a small wedding cake, and we ate steak and shrimp and (being in the camp you bring your own food in) It was as good as it could be.

Matilhda
04-17-2006, 06:38 PM
Hello All,

This is my first time on this site and I want to say thank you to everyone who posted their experiences. My guy is in Green Haven and we are planning to get married, I am writing the letter to the Superintendent right now.

Honestly I am a little nervous, I just wanted to know if anyone has gotten married at Green Haven before and what your experience was like.

Again thank you all for sharing and allaying some of my fears.

Sorry all as is usual things have changes.

My Guy just got transfered to Eastern, not sure yet if it is the Max or Annex, but what I want to know is do I have to start the process all over again?

LaChula24
04-18-2006, 01:02 PM
Did you two already have gotten married? Or are you in the process of submitting to the superintendent requesting for approval of marriage? If that is the case, being that he has been moved to another facility you will have to write to the new superintendent of the current facility he is in all over again and new. Every facility has a different superintendent and they do not exchange anything due to transfers of inmates. Therefore, if he is in Eastern then find out who the superintendent is.
Question, but are you coming from the city or from nearby the facility? Reason why I ask you because my Husband is also in Eastern. I'm coming from far and wanted to know if you would know anything about transportation besides van services that can take you up there.
Hope the information is helpful. Good Luck!

wifey4life
04-22-2006, 01:15 PM
I didn't get married yet but i plan to at Green Haven.Does anyone know about the process and would like to share?

missingmytbear
04-27-2006, 09:33 AM
I'm planning on getting married at Green Haven as well, but know absolutely nothing about the process we'll have to go through or about the area in general. I'm in Texas trying to finish my undergrad degree so we're worried there will be problems with us getting married because I'll still have about a year left in school before I can move up there (We want to get married in Spring of '07) -- we have no idea if they will let me speak to the counselor over the phone for the "interview". I'll only have a week for visiting him when we do get married so we're trying to get it all to fit into that time frame. So we've started planning now just to be sure. If anyone has any advice or a story to tell I'd love to hear it!

Matilhda
05-01-2006, 04:20 PM
Did you two already have gotten married? Or are you in the process of submitting to the superintendent requesting for approval of marriage? If that is the case, being that he has been moved to another facility you will have to write to the new superintendent of the current facility he is in all over again and new. Every facility has a different superintendent and they do not exchange anything due to transfers of inmates. Therefore, if he is in Eastern then find out who the superintendent is.
Question, but are you coming from the city or from nearby the facility? Reason why I ask you because my Husband is also in Eastern. I'm coming from far and wanted to know if you would know anything about transportation besides van services that can take you up there.
Hope the information is helpful. Good Luck!

Hi thank you so much for the above info I wrote a new letter and called Eastern. I spoke to Ms. Maleski and she said she does interviews the last Wednesday of every month and we should be married by June :D. I usually use Van services but I think a bus comes up there Manny's.

Matilhda
05-01-2006, 04:35 PM
Getting Married in Green Haven

I didn't get through the whole process in Green Haven but this is what I know so far. You have to write a letter to the superintendent:

Superintendent William E. Phillips
c/o Green Haven Correctional Facility
594 Route 216
Stormville, NY 12582-0010

The letter has to have your fiancé’s name and DIN and it has to say that you are want permission to get married. You fiancé has to write one too. Once you send the letter give it a couple of days, once he gets the letter he will send it to the FRP counselor Jackie Reid. You can call Green Haven (845) 221-2711 and ask to speak to Ms. Reid; she is really nice and will tell you what your date is. Everyone's experience is very different but for me it was a long wait. But I think you wanted to wait till 2007 so then that ma work for you.

Hope I helped.

JUNE1'S WIFE
05-01-2006, 09:03 PM
You might have to send the same letter over again to the Superintendent at eastern, i've heard that the marriage process at eastern is pretty smooth, i've heard you can have a cake ordered by the bakery of the facilities choice, congrat's to you and your soon to be hubby

hope everything works out for the best.

cristi07
05-31-2006, 06:06 PM
Does anyone have any marrige info on the NYC jails like The Boat and Rikers Island? I would really Appreciate it Thank you.

jenn-luvz-mk99
07-31-2006, 01:09 PM
If any one got married or will get married at Shawangunk facility, I need to know the procedures and any additional advice or information,because me and my baby just decided to tie the knot.....and we can't wait
HELP ME PLEASE

Danes'BabyGirl
08-14-2006, 09:53 PM
All of this has been very helpfull to me. Now when i write to him again I can let him know that he has to write to the superitendant of attica to get permission for us to get married. I'm also going to do the same. Also I can't remember who posted it but if my baby hadn't ened up in jail i never would have found him again either. we dated in highschool and then we were apart for about 12 yrs. when we met again it was like we had never been apart. i love this man with all i am.

Che'sGirl
09-10-2006, 04:57 PM
can anyone tell me how long it took them to get permission to get married? we both wrote months ago and still havent heard anything. he has written his counselor several times with no response, is there anything we can do? any way we can find out what's going on? PLEASE let me know something! this is stressing us both so much!! thanx!

yasmin
09-18-2006, 12:32 PM
If any one has gotten married at Lyon Mountain and has any info please would you write and let me know how it is and what the process is. Thank you very much.

WifeNicAtNite
09-18-2006, 08:54 PM
can anyone tell me how long it took them to get permission to get married? we both wrote months ago and still havent heard anything. he has written his counselor several times with no response, is there anything we can do? any way we can find out what's going on? PLEASE let me know something! this is stressing us both so much!! thanx!

As far as I know, you both need to write the superintendent (not his counselor). Hopefully, the counselor has forwarded your request to the superintendent.

Ask your fiancee to find out the name of the marriage counselor and then you can call to follow up. I had to call the marriage counselor several times because at the facility we were married ~ she only did the interviews every other month or so... so she waited to contact people all at once. But you can always call and say that you wanted to confirm that your request was received.

WifeNicAtNite
09-18-2006, 08:57 PM
You might have to send the same letter over again to the Superintendent at eastern, i've heard that the marriage process at eastern is pretty smooth, i've heard you can have a cake ordered by the bakery of the facilities choice, congrat's to you and your soon to be hubby

hope everything works out for the best.

This is true. I was married at Eastern several years ago. The process was extremely smooth and yes, we were allowed to order a cake from the local bakery. You tell them what kind you want, you pay for it in advance, and the bakery deliver's the cake the morning of your wedding.

Danean&Darrick
09-19-2006, 12:05 PM
Hello i got married sept 9th at clinton correctional in dannemora ny it took 15 minutes......we had no counseling .....and i had to bring my husband's ring with me that saturday of the wedding...and we had to fill out papers that friday before the wedding and pay 30 dollars for the license and 35 for the justice of peace...you wear what u want but it is not fancy at all.

WifeNicAtNite
09-20-2006, 08:39 AM
Hello i got married sept 9th at clinton correctional in dannemora ny it took 15 minutes......we had no counseling .....and i had to bring my husband's ring with me that saturday of the wedding...and we had to fill out papers that friday before the wedding and pay 30 dollars for the license and 35 for the justice of peace...you wear what u want but it is not fancy at all.

Congrats!!!:)

yasmin
09-20-2006, 11:23 AM
Congratulations and best wishes for the future.

yaya'sbaby
02-15-2007, 07:23 PM
Does anyone know if an inmate needs their birth certificate to get married? My fiance wants to get married, but his counselor said he needs it? Does anyone know if this is true?

Mrs. Vins
02-16-2007, 07:08 PM
Yaya, we both needed our birth certificates.

Tanya U.K
03-29-2007, 06:25 AM
The current Superintendant for Clinton Correctional? I have just seen 2 conflicting things on the internet. Is it Dale Artus or Daniel Senkowski? I'm sure its Dale Artus but i just wanted some clarification!

triniswife
03-30-2007, 08:41 AM
Does anyone know if an inmate needs their birth certificate to get married? My fiance wants to get married, but his counselor said he needs it? Does anyone know if this is true?

yes, you do need his birth certificate... my baby is from trinidad and they still require it in NYS. thank GOD we have it:) . we dont need anything else to slow up the process, right.

Eightiezbabi
04-04-2007, 12:34 PM
My man got sent to sing sing and we were suppose to get married before he got sentenced but thats a whole other issue. My question is how long is the marriage process? Also, after you get married im noe u must wait 90 days to apply for a frp visit, correct? How long does that process take? He's going to be in there for awhile, so to me this is all a must!

nancylatingirl
04-04-2007, 01:48 PM
hi everyone i'm nancy from new york and my man is locked up in eastern correctional facility and he wants to marry me, i need help i want to know how this process goes and even info about the trailer visits thank you nancy

mrsrudd
04-20-2007, 08:36 AM
I am considering getting married in Author Kill Correctional in staten island any help any one can give me would be great

CuteT
05-09-2007, 08:59 PM
Does anybody know the process of getting married or has gotten married at FCI Otisville..Any information will be helpful...

cristi07
06-09-2007, 05:47 PM
Thank You For All The Info In This Forum It Was A Great Help And My Wedding Was Very Nice..... We Got Married On 5/18/07 And I Am So Happy We Got Married.......

Amy Koch
07-20-2007, 10:41 PM
Does anyone happen to know if the inside of the wedding band can be engraved? My soon to be mother in law ordered our rings and had them engraved. If anyone happens to know this, please let me know~so i can order a new one if necessary. Thanks so much!

blackcat05
08-13-2007, 01:46 PM
I am planning to get married at orleans correctional does anyone have info how to go about it there..

thanks

divine's girl
08-28-2007, 10:32 AM
Has anyone went through the marriage process at Livingston? If so can you share your exprience please and thank you.

blackcat05
08-28-2007, 11:56 AM
Does anyone know if you can engrave the wedding bands and what is price limit on a ring?

CM_ANGEL_2000
12-09-2007, 07:53 PM
I talked to my fiance's counselor at Collins and she said that I have to come up at least 2 weeks prior to April (when the weddings are held) to get the marriage license. After reading the main thread, it says no less than 24 hours. I am so confused. I can't come all the way to NY twice in that short of time. I looked and can't find anyone who has gotten married in Collins to find out how long between when they got their license and when they actually got married. Can anyone help me???

babygirl1113
12-10-2007, 09:23 AM
has anyone been married in gowanda please give me some advice

LadyValentine
01-15-2008, 12:15 AM
Has any one been married in Auburn I really would like to know how long did it take you and the process my loved one is in Auburn and I plan on getting married to him I will like to know every thing and even about the Trailer visit and is it true that your inmate has to undergo a program in order to get tralier visits? Let me know

LadyValentine
01-15-2008, 12:21 AM
Has any one been married in Auburn Correctional facility please let me know what was the process like and how long did it take to get married? And do your inmate has to undergo a program for trailer visits. How long do it take to get a trailer visit

lo_mami
02-16-2008, 08:43 PM
what is the process of gettin married in auburn cf????? thanks ladies

Tony's BX ChicC
02-17-2008, 08:26 AM
Ur Boo Would Have 2 Speak With His Counslor To Se Things Up. Good Luck

jar022378
02-19-2008, 07:13 PM
Is there a time limit on marriage in New York State prisons?
He was sentenced to 7 yrs, can you get married with that amount of time?
I heard you have to be in a max facility.
do you go to a max for 7 yrs?

I need any inof i can get thanks!

LSB
04-09-2008, 01:55 PM
...I will post info on Shawangunk as soon as we get married. :D

clockwise61006
04-16-2008, 10:36 AM
Any info on getting married at Coxsackie Correctional? So far we have gotten approval from the Superintendent, how long before the next step??

mmalone
08-12-2008, 12:50 PM
Does anyone know the process for marrying an inmate in the Michigan prison system? He's up north in Michigan and wants to get married. What can I expect? I know the license is $20.00. But other than that I am clueless!!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!!!!!

Kay926
08-14-2008, 12:41 AM
Any info on getting married at Coxsackie Correctional? So far we have gotten approval from the Superintendent, how long before the next step??

call his councelor and see when the marraige date is...you have to get your marriage license atleast 30 days before the wedding

AaronsBeautiful
11-01-2008, 04:57 PM
Does anyone know how the marriages work in clinto correctioanl facility?

SaritaLovesLuis
12-15-2008, 09:33 PM
My fiancee is from El Salvador and does not have a birth certificate. How do we get married in NYS without one from him?

Mrs. White
12-19-2008, 09:18 PM
My fiancee is from El Salvador and does not have a birth certificate. How do we get married in NYS without one from him?
u dont need his birth certificate, well i didnt need my husband's all he needed to know was his social security number. But i had to bring my documents

SaritaLovesLuis
12-19-2008, 10:55 PM
he doesn't have a social security # either, since he's not legally supposed to be in this country.:o

Mrs. White
12-26-2008, 10:43 PM
he doesn't have a social security # either, since he's not legally supposed to be in this country.:o


u might wanna contact the person who handles the marriages in his facility and ask them about it. check to make sure there are no deportation issues. hope it all works out for you.

MelsBelle
01-08-2009, 08:18 AM
Does anyone have ANY information on the marraige process at Bare Hill???? Please and thank you!!!

JJ224
01-25-2009, 02:14 PM
I read all of your post which have been extremely helpful. I recently decided to marry my boyfriend of 7 years. The thought of marrying in prison hurts on so many levels including: requesting permission from the superintendent, being married by a person not of your choosing, missing family, friends, etc (you all probably know what I mean). My man is currently in Auburn. Does anyone have any info about the process there? Also, post marriage how have things changed including filing for taxes, insurance and other pratical things?

PhilsWifey4Lyfe
07-18-2009, 02:16 PM
Hey well my name is ashley. My fiance is in Wyoming Correctional Facility and we have decided that we want to go threw with getting married while he is in there; granted we both know its not the "right" time but its something we both have talked about and its what we really want. Im kinda just looking for someone who has gone threw it and just can .. i guess talk to me about it; any kind of information will greatly be appericated; he just got a note back from his counsler and she has told us both to write too the superintendent?.. but that is as far as we have got so far...

Like i said anything will greatly be appercaited :)

PhilsWifey4Lyfe
07-18-2009, 04:41 PM
Thank you so much for this post; my fiance is in wyoming right now. i hope that you guys are doing good?..... uhm as far as the appoinntment with his counsler, was he with you and like did she/ he ask u questions and like what kind of question were they

ShadowsChina
07-19-2009, 07:01 AM
If you have been married in a New York prison and would like to share with everyone then please post. Here is a list of questions and if you can add anything else then please do so.



1. Did you have any counseling?

No

2. How long did the whole process take?

From the start of the paperwork to the marriage for me was about 2 months.

3. Did you have to find your own minister?

No. My husband counselor gave the minister my number for him to contact me.

4. Were you allowed any flowers or disposable camera?

No

5. How many guests were allowed to be there?

You are only allowed 2 witnesses. If you do not know anyone, then your man can call a witness down from his dorm.

6. What was the process to get the marriage license?

First the inmate has to request the paperwork from his counselor, then after he fills that out he has to give you a copy of the paperwork, you take that to the city marriage building and let them know that your man is an inmate. Give them his name and location. Then they will pull out the paperwork for you to sign and show them your ID. The license will be mailed to you. Once you get it you call his counselor to set the date and then the counselor calls the minister. The minister calls you to confirm the date and then you go to the jail and meet up with the minister and get hitched.

7. What were the costs you had to pay?

The license is $35.00 and the minister gets $50.00. Total cost is $85.00

8. What were the two of you allowed to wear?

He wears a white collar shirt or his jumper and you wear what you would wear for a visit.

9. Were you allowed to bring a wedding band in for him or did it have to be mailed and what was the value limit?

I brought the bands with me.

MikceysWifey
12-21-2009, 11:01 PM
hey everyone i am so happy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! me and my hubby are in the process of getting married. I am going with the feelings in my heart and not caring about what other think. This man is the love of my life, the father of my son and my best friend.

jaiabee
01-10-2010, 01:09 PM
My boyfriend & I want to get married..as of right now he is in the box so we can not get the process started until he comes out which will be in feburary...the whole catch is he might switch jails..so I don't know if to wait until he gets settled in his new jail to start the paperwork or can I write the superintended of this jail and then will he forward it to his recent jail or should I just wait all together...

clockwise61006
01-10-2010, 04:56 PM
You're better off waiting till he gets moved, they wont forward the letter


My boyfriend & I want to get married..as of right now he is in the box so we can not get the process started until he comes out which will be in feburary...the whole catch is he might switch jails..so I don't know if to wait until he gets settled in his new jail to start the paperwork or can I write the superintended of this jail and then will he forward it to his recent jail or should I just wait all together...

beamirage
01-11-2010, 06:17 PM
Hi everyone I really appreciate all your posts and how helpful they are. Congratulations to all of you who have been able to marry the one you love. I am in the process of getting our marriage license and had a couple of questions. He is currently at Sing Sing and after you get your license does anyone know how soon or when they schedule the weddings? I am a bit worried because I ordered our rings and they are being engraved. They won't be ready until after the week when we get our license. Thanks to all for your help.

mi888
01-21-2010, 03:51 PM
Just trying to find info. on how to get married in TX?? How does it work?? Who do I need to talk to? Any info. is needed..And thank you in advance for your replies!! :D God bless!!

Curtswifey
01-21-2010, 04:29 PM
Its plenty of Threads on this in this forum and in the texas forum. You have to get married by proxy in texas. If you need more information...check out the threads or pm me...I am more than happy to help you

Pooch&Peach4Eva
01-22-2010, 11:46 AM
Does Anybody know how 2 get married in WATERTOWN,NY?

charlotte98
01-27-2010, 05:04 PM
Ok, so I did a search of the forum (lol, as well as the entire blessed internet) and couldn't find an answer to my query... which is... there is a 3-day waiting period in Texas to get married (to anyone). Ok.

So I'm picking up the marriage license between 2-4 pm Friday afternoon on the 19th of February, and I have to be back on the road by the 23rd at noon (I live in Missouri, and have to be at work that night).

How do they keep track of how long it's been, is it down to the hour? Cos if so, I can get married either that afternoon or night (the 22nd), but if it's by date, I have to wait till the 23rd? And will have to have the ceremony that morning.
I kinda need to know so I can try to find someone to marry us, since I plan on getting married in Walker, County, and since that's where the prison is, I figure alot of JP's and even pastors might not be too keen on officiating at a wedding involving a Texas inmate.
If I had a precise time/date they might be more ...understanding. I don't know. I really want to have all my ducks in a row.

Thank you all in advance, for any and all information you may have regarding this...
If this is already somewhere else in the forum, I apologize!! and if so I apparently fail at searching the forum, I looked for like half an hour and didn't find what i was looking for.

Thank you!!! :) *love and hugs*

Mrs.Garcia04
01-27-2010, 05:43 PM
There is a 3 day wait as for the other specifics you asked about i think its just by days like you should be able to get married the 22 but just ask them when you go get the license

D&DForever
01-27-2010, 10:28 PM
When I got my license (in Hays County) it had the time and date(three days to the hour later) printed on it when I could get married. I had arranged for a JP in advance. There was a list on the County Clerk's web page and I called them all til I found one that would do the ceremony. Then she had to fill in the date and time of the ceremony and then she mailed the license in. I got the original recorded certificate in the mail a few days later. Hope this helps, and Congratulations!

msp6747
01-27-2010, 11:19 PM
yes it still has the time and date on it and you have to pre arrange for the jp to marry you in hays county marriage lic. is 72 dollars and jp charges another 75 dollars but make sure you have your proxy in order if it is by proxy you must have the inmate fill it all out and have it notorized and send it to you

charlotte98
01-28-2010, 06:45 PM
Awww, you ladies are the best. Thank you for all the great info...
I just hope I can find a JP in short order. I've emailed every pastor in huntsville and they've all said no, so far.

mrs.shaw
03-09-2010, 08:07 AM
Hey everyone
If its not to personal can I have an example of the letter to the superintedent, I don't want to do it wrong lol. Should it be typed, notorized?. Thanks

mrs.shaw
03-09-2010, 08:12 AM
Hey everyone
If its not to personal can I have an example of the letter to the superintedent, I don't want to do it wrong lol. Should it be typed, notorized?. Thanks

MissVal1920
03-09-2010, 09:35 AM
Hey everyone
If its not to personal can I have an example of the letter to the superintedent, I don't want to do it wrong lol. Should it be typed, notorized?. Thanks

Mrs. Shaw, my letter was very simple and please make sure you check with your specific facility to see what other information you may need to add. Here is what I wrote (with names/details removed). I hope it helps.
----------------------------------
My return address
my town, NJ 07123
December 28, 2009
Mr. Harold Graham, Superintendent
Auburn Correctional Facility
(facility address)
Dear Mr. Graham:
My name is <name>, a resident of <my home address>. I am writing this letter as an expression of interest in marrying Mr. <my boo> (DIN 00-11-2345), an inmate at Auburn Correction Facility. In keeping with the Department of Corrections’ policy and intention to assist inmates in creating stability and fostering ties with loved ones, I am respectfully asking for your prompt assistance in allowing us to be married.
In accordance with your Directive #4201, “Marriages During Confinement,” we feel that we meet the requirements as specified.
If you have any questions or concerns or require further information, please do not hesitate to contact me during the day at 000-000-0000, or in the evening at 000-000-0000. I will follow up with your office the first week of January to assure that you have received both of our requests successfully and discuss next steps in the process.
Thank you for your assistance and attention.

Sincerely,

MissVal1920
----------------------------------------------------------------------------

mrs.shaw
03-09-2010, 09:25 PM
[quote=MissVal1920;5270857]Mrs. Shaw, my letter was very simple and please make sure you check with your specific facility to see what other information you may need to add. Here is what I wrote (with names/details removed). I hope it helps.
----------------------------------
My return address
my town, NJ 07123
December 28, 2009
Mr. Harold Graham, Superintendent
Auburn Correctional Facility
(facility address)
Dear Mr. Graham:
My name is <name>, a resident of <my home address>. I am writing this letter as an expression of interest in marrying Mr. <my boo> (DIN 00-11-2345), an inmate at Auburn Correction Facility. In keeping with the Department of Corrections’ policy and intention to assist inmates in creating stability and fostering ties with loved ones, I am respectfully asking for your prompt assistance in allowing us to be married.
In accordance with your Directive #4201, “Marriages During Confinement,” we feel that we meet the requirements as specified.
If you have any questions or concerns or require further information, please do not hesitate to contact me during the day at 000-000-0000, or in the evening at 000-000-0000. I will follow up with your office the first week of January to assure that you have received both of our requests successfully and discuss next steps in the process.
Thank you for your assistance and attention.

Sincerely,

MissVal1920
tHE bEST hLP ever!!!

MissVal1920
03-10-2010, 09:00 AM
Yes ma'am! Im glad it could help. Also, I sent a copy of my letter to boo so he could send it in with his and he sent a copy of his to me so I could do the same. WE had to be VERY creative in all of this because his facility is extremely slow with booking dates and usually have to wait 6-14 months for a date. Your facility may be a bit more organized. I found being super professional and nice when I call gets a lot more accomplished rather than yelling or bitching about the fact they aren't doing their jobs...lol. So far its worked. We just got our date pushed up a whole month (because I asked her to make a note in case of any cancellations). All the best, Mrs.!

tHE bEST hLP ever!!!

mrs.shaw
03-23-2010, 11:40 PM
I sent in a letter similar to yours and im patiently waiting for a response and i pray that it works out!

Well I hope everything works out for you and you def. have to update me onthe wedding :):thumbsup:

MissVal1920
03-24-2010, 08:47 AM
Thank you! Just a little under 3 months to go :)

Make sure you follow up with his facility superintendent office next week so that your letters don't get lost in the shuffle. I can't wait to hear your updates also. :)

I sent in a letter similar to yours and im patiently waiting for a response and i pray that it works out!

Well I hope everything works out for you and you def. have to update me onthe wedding :):thumbsup:

freedomtravel44
05-23-2010, 10:08 AM
hi, has anyone been married at greenhaven recently?
do you know:

how much for the license?
how much for the bishop?
how many people were allowed in the room with you when you get married?
what time do the weddings start?

thank you in advance

Mrs. White
05-29-2010, 10:26 PM
I believe its $105 total $60 for the pastor and $45 for the license they are done on wednesdays only ....I believe the third or last wednesday in the old visiting room....in the room can be the best man maid of

Mrs. White
05-29-2010, 10:28 PM
honor and maybe two others.....you go as if u going on a regular visit and then they call u in the room in the order u get in there..they do about five to ten.....best of luck

NY-Done
05-29-2010, 10:52 PM
I'm chuckling because when I got married it was $30 and, I left the card with the money at the house. When I got there and after the jp (one I chose from their list) married us, I apologized for leaving his gratuity at the house!! So ladies, don't forget the gratuity when you go up!! :)

khatzeye
06-13-2010, 10:24 AM
I want to marry my boo he is at green have also. im so tired of everyone thing so negative about this. how do u do it? or are your families more understanding.

TheMissez
06-26-2010, 12:37 PM
I want to marry my boo he is at green have also. im so tired of everyone thing so negative about this. how do u do it? or are your families more understanding.

At the end of the day, you have to do what your heart tells you. My baby and I are getting married at Green Haven next month (7.28) and yes some ppl had negative things to say but they dont understand the relationship that we have....the same in your case. If you two truly love each other then go for it. It's all in God's hands.

MissVal1920
07-12-2010, 11:27 AM
1. Did you have any counseling? Nothing official. We met with the Deputy County Clerk/ Guidance Counselor of the Facility and spoke very briefly about our plans, and future endeavors a week and a half before our scheduled ceremony.

2. How long did the whole process take? From the date we wrote our letters of intent until our Wedding date was a little over 5 months.

3. Did you have to find your own minister? Yes. We wanted to use an Imam, however when you use an outside clergy they have to go through an approval process with the Chaplain office and that could take some additional weeks, so we went with using the JoP that is recommended and cleared by the Facility.

4. Were you allowed any flowers or disposable camera? NO. I wish. Instead we were allowed to use the visiting room photographer (inmate) for a special call out where he took pictures of the ceremony and afterwards. We did have to purchase picture tickets in advance, though and were only allowed the # of pictures to be taken that we purchased.

5. How many guests were allowed to be there? We were allowed up to 2 witnesses and inmates were allowed to be witnesses.

6. What was the process to get the marriage license? The Counselor we met with was also the Deputy City Clerk so he filled out my husband's portion of the license. He did not need any particular ID or birth certificate. The Counselor then hand delivers the license to the City Clerk's Office the next day and I had to schedule an appointment with the City Clerk to complete my portion of the license and receive the final license to marry.

7. What were the costs you had to pay? My husband paid for mostly everything. The costs included the marriage license ($50), the JoP ($100), and our wedding bands ($300 for both)

8. What were the two of you allowed to wear? He actually had the option to wear "Parole Clothing" if he wanted but he opted to just wear a dress shirt that I sent him the day before. I could wear whatever I wanted as long as it was visit room-friendly.

9. Were you allowed to bring a wedding band in for him or did it have to be mailed and what was the value limit? Yes, I brought the wedding band with me however I totally forgot the receipt and it was a huge deal to be able to bring it in for the ceremony. I had to take the band back out with me when I left and bring it back the next day with the receipt. The maximum limit is $150 for band and they must have a permit to have it in their possession.

The only other thing I would add is to be sure to check, double-check and confirm EVERYTHING. Unfortunately, each step of the process was dependant on a previous step and if one thing fell out of line it would have totally thrown off the entire pricess. DOC doesn't care about doing anything nice for an inmate or seeing them happy, so make sure that you keep all contact #s on hand, and call to confirm everything if ever in doubt.

HOLLYWOOD327
07-20-2010, 12:14 AM
My boyfriend is in sing sing and we looking in to gettin married i will like to know do they do home visits befor u get married?

Boobi's Fiance
09-08-2010, 09:03 AM
Hey guys,

Me and my fiance have been thru ur ups and downs but we have always talked about marriage and even though times have been hard, our love is even stronger. He wants us to get married nowbecause to him theres no reason to wait anymore if we love each other and he promises me the wedding of my dreams when he comes out. In the meantime we benefit from FRP visits and the advantage of applying jointly on taxes (NO THAT IS NOT THE REASON WE ARE GETTING MARRIED!!!) we love each other unconditionally :)

Now my question is he went in to jail on August 10th, and now he is in reception in Ulster just waiting for his final destination. Once he gets to his final dstination, is there a time limit he has to wait before i write to the superintedent? For example, I know if we were married already for FRP visits you must have 30 days in the facility already and 6 months in custody (i think :confused:)..does anyone know if once he gets transferred we can just get married or do we have to wait a certain number of days or months??

Thanks!! :thumbsup:

MissVal1920
09-08-2010, 09:43 AM
As far as I am aware, there is no wait time to submit a letter to the Superintendent of the facility once your man is transferred to his new facility. You may want to check out the NY DOC Directive on Marriage During Confinement (http://www.docs.state.ny.us/Directives/4201.pdf) for more legal and administrative restrictions, but otherwise, once he is there you are good to go. You can also check out other's responses in the Getting Married in New York (http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=112047&highlight=married+York) Thread.

FelicsWife
12-12-2010, 10:39 AM
I got married April 10, 2004 at Clinton Correctional Facility. It was a truly different experience. Our friends were our witnesses which made more personal. But it was quick one minute I was single next a married woman.

I want to get married at Clinton if he and I are going to get married in prison or just wait is a different story. But I am just wondering if you could possibly give me more information about your wedding.. the cost, and what you were responsible for getting? Thank you very much.

Mrs K Epps
01-06-2011, 04:54 PM
I am looking for any info about getting Married to my Fiance who is currently serving time in Sing Sing Correctional facility In Ny State. Any info would be great like can we have flowers,cake ,pictures , who can come , the whole procedure any info I would greatly appreciate.
:)

MissVal1920
01-06-2011, 07:30 PM
I am looking for any info about getting Married to my Fiance who is currently serving time in Sing Sing Correctional facility In Ny State. Any info would be great like can we have flowers,cake ,pictures , who can come , the whole procedure any info I would greatly appreciate.
:)

Welcome to PTO!! Although each facility varies a bit in their specific procedure, it is doubtful that you will be able to bring in anything other than your marriage license, and the rings (along with a valid receipt for your husband's band). In general, there can be two witnesses that must be able to gain access to a prison facility. In regards to the procedure, check out the Marriage During Confinement Directive (http://www.docs.state.ny.us/Directives/4201.pdf) from the NY DOC website. It's pretty straight forward, but the gist is that to get started, both of you must submit a letter in writing to the superintendent of Sing Sing for approval. From there, the marriage office at the facility will forward your fiancee the next steps. All the best with your upcoming marriage!!

eddieswifey09
01-10-2011, 12:20 PM
I am looking on some information about getting married in Oneida Correctional facility. I did get the marriage during confinement directive from the doc website. Just curious if anyone has any other info on it.

LARES1950
01-15-2011, 04:54 PM
My Husband And I Got Married 2 Yrs Ago At Green Haven Corr. Facility. The Wedding Took Place In The Old Visitin' Rm And After The Ceremony Was Over We Continued Our Visit..


Peace
do you remeber what months they do the ceremony?

prsugaplum
03-14-2011, 04:42 PM
My fiance and I really want to get married before he comes home. Im just wondering if anyone had gotten married at Adirondack before ? what is the process and how can I go about getting the process started.... I really love him and this important to me so if anyone could help id really appreciate it .... thank u all in advance i love this site !! <3:D

sportyone_64
03-14-2011, 10:03 PM
Rose:

Ty you so much for the information about getting married my man is in acf. The information was very helpful how long did the whole process take? Anyhow yeah i havent had the best experience dealing with this facility. No one is responsive to my requests. Anyhow ty i am planning on getting married there as soon as possible just need to get the ball rolling. Congrats on your wedding.


Sarah

His Beloved
03-18-2011, 12:29 AM
Hello!
The following is from the New York Department of Corrections website regarding "Marriages During Confinement"
I. POLICY
. A major Departmental objective is to foster ties to the community that will help create stability in the inmate's personal life. The Department recognizes that a marriage can assist in creating that personal stability. Accordingly, the Department will provide appropriate assistance to inmates who wish to become married. The Department also recognizes that a person's confinement will in itself present impediments and difficulties to the contracting of a marriage during that period of confinement.
The purpose of this directive is to outline the responsibilities of the inmate and the intended spouse and the obligations of the Department to ensure that an intended marriage is legally acceptable.
II. LEGAL PREREQUISITES


Any inmate may marry providing there are no legal impediments to the marriage. Legal impediments may fall into the following areas:

A. Age. In accordance with New York State Law, all persons making an application for a marriage license must be 18 years of age or older. Those who are under age must submit the written consent of both parents, or of one parent if the whereabouts of the other parent has been unknown for a period of one year, or of a legal guardian. Persons under the age of 16 years must obtain the written approval of a Justice of the Supreme Court or a Judge of the appropriate Family Court as stipulated in Section 15 of the Domestic Relations Law.
B. Competency. Both parties must be mentally capable of consenting to the marriage.
C. Prior Marriages. All prior marriages must be legally dissolved. It is solely the responsibility of the inmate and the intended spouse to secure documented proof that any prior marriages to which they have been party have been legally dissolved.
The Superintendent will not permit any marriage to take place until the inmate and the intended spouse
have procured a valid marriage license.
D. Inmate Status. When two persons are both confined in New York State Correctional Facilities they will not be permitted to marry until at least one of them has been released from such confinement.
E. Order of Protection. When a valid Order of Protection exists which instructs the offender to “stay away from” the person he or she is seeking to marry, this shall preclude the inmate and protected person from visiting with each other and, therefore, preclude marriage for the duration the Order of Protection is in effect. It is the responsibility of the counselor during the counselor interview to verify with both the inmate and the intended spouse that no Order of Protection that includes a “stay away from” provision is in effect. If it is learned an Order of Protection is in effect but not on file with the Department, the counselor is to make all reasonable efforts to obtain a copy of the Order and update the security classification guideline per established procedures.
III. ADMINISTRATIVE IMPEDIMENTS


A. Inmate status. An inmate may not marry another inmate.

B. Disciplinary status. The Superintendent is authorized to prohibit the marriage of an inmate during the period that the inmate is confined pursuant to the disposition of a superintendent's or disciplinary hearing.
C. Threat to safety and security. If, in his/her judgment, the Superintendent concludes that a proposed marriage presents a real threat to the safety and security of the facility, the marriage may be prohibited until such time as the threat is removed.
IV. PROCEDURES


A. Notice to the Superintendent

1. To ensure mutual agreement, the inmate and the intended spouse shall write to the Superintendent expressing an intent to marry.
2. The notices are to be recorded and filed in the inmate's Guidance Unit Folder.
3. The Superintendent shall designate a Counselor to be responsible for processing the request, interviewing the inmate and intended spouse, and ensuring that the inmate has a valid marriage license and that administrative requirements have been fulfilled.
B. Counselor's Interviews
1. The Counselor shall conduct an initial interview with the inmate to explain the entire marriage procedure emphasizing that while the Department will assist the inmate, the primary responsibility for making all arrangements and securing the necessary documents rests with the inmate and the intended spouse.
2. The Counselor shall explain that the Temporary Release Program and the Family Reunion Program operate independently of the marriage process and any applications or arrangements for those programs are likewise the responsibility of the inmate. An inmate who wishes to be married while on Temporary Release must conform to the procedures delineated in the Directive and also in the Temporary Release Manual of Rules and Regulations.
3. The Counselor shall examine the inmate's entire folder, including the Pre-sentence Report, paying particular attention to information which may present legal impediments to a marriage (e.g. the existence of a previous marriage or a valid Order of Protection).
4. Subsequently, the Counselor shall interview the intended spouse at the facility to explain the marriage process and the complications imposed by the inmate's confinement in a correctional facility. In the course of this interview, the Counselor should advise the intended spouse to discuss with the inmate the circumstances surrounding his/her incarceration. The Counselor shall inform the intended spouse of the inmate's parole eligibility date, conditional release date, and maximum expiration of sentence date.
5. If the intended spouse refuses to participate in the Counselor's interview, the Counselor shall explain that the interview is a part of the total procedure for processing marriage requests. The participation of the intended spouse shall be encouraged, however, a refusal to participate shall not be grounds for disallowing the marriage.
C. Chaplain's Interview
1. Subsequent to the Counselor's interviews, the inmate and the intended spouse may meet with the facility Chaplain of their faith for appropriate counseling and for the development of plans for the marriage ceremony.
2. If the inmate and intended spouse cannot make plans that are acceptable to the Chaplain, they shall assume the responsibility for further development of the plans for the marriage ceremony.
D. Application For Marriage License
1. The inmate and the intended spouse must appear before a town or county clerk to apply for a marriage license. A marriage license is valid for 60 days from its date of validation.
2. In some facilities, an official at the facility is designated a town clerk. In such cases, this person shall receive the application for the marriage license.
3. At other facilities, the Counselor or head clerk shall make every effort to get the local town or county clerk to either visit the facility or to designate a deputy in the [Facility] community for the completion of the license application form.
4. An inmate may choose to coordinate the application for a marriage license with a scheduled temporary release if eligible under the guidelines of the Temporary Release Program. The inmate must, however, conform to all the requirements of this Directive, including, but not limited to prior notification to the Superintendent, and participation in counseling (Sections III-A and B).

5. Under no circumstances will an inmate be allowed to proceed to the town or county clerk's office under escort by Department personnel.
6. The responsibility to determine whether a marriage can be contracted under the law rests with the town or county clerk. The license issuing agency reviews competency and questions both parties regarding the legal dissolution of prior marriages.
E. Solemnization of the Marriage
1. A marriage, whether it takes place in the facility or in the community, must be solemnized by either:
a. A clergy person or minister of any religion or a leader of the Society for Ethical Culture licensed to perform marriages in New York State.
b. A justice or judge of a court of record or of a municipal court, or a police justice of a village or town.
c. Others as indicated in the Domestic Relations Law (section 11, 11a).
2. If the marriage ceremony takes place within the facility, the inmate and the intended spouse may select two individuals to serve as witness, e.g., employees who are willing, inmates (not in disciplinary confinement or confined to a BHU Unit), relatives, and friends. Ceremonies held in the facility will only be allowed to take place in an area designated by the Superintendent.
3. The ceremony will be limited to the participating partners, the official solemnizer, and two witnesses who may be selected according to the inmate's wishes.
4. If the marriage is to be solemnized in the facility by someone other than the facility Chaplain, the assigned counselor should assist the inmate in recruiting the clergy person, minister or civil official chosen to perform the ceremony.
5. If a facility chaplain officiates at the ceremony, he or she may not accept any fee or honorarium.
6. There must be an interval of 24 hours between the date that the marriage license is issued and the
date of the marriage ceremony. (Domestic Relations Law, Section 13-b).
F. Responsibility for Expenses Incurred
The marriage license fee and other expenses incurred for solemnization of the marriage shall be the responsibility of the inmate and the intended spouse.
G. The counselor assigned will notify the Superintendent in writing, upon completion of the solemnization of the marriage providing the information required in Section H below.
H. Notification of Marriage to Central Office
The Director of Ministerial and Family Services shall be advised in writing by the Superintendent of the
various facts concerning the marriage ceremony, i.e., names and addresses of partners, date of ceremony, name and address of the place where the ceremony occurred, witnesses, and officiating Chaplain or clergy person, or civil official.

HartsGirl
03-21-2011, 07:42 PM
I have a question... what did you say in your letter to the Superintendent...because we are starting the process but i have no idea what to write! Thank you!


Congrats:)

I just started the process myself last month. You and your guy have to write a letter to the Superintendent of Orleans. He will then get a response at which point you have to call the FRP Counselor to set up a date for an interview to review his sentence etc. (it took almost 4 weeks to get a response, I thought it would take longer). Once you have the interview, you choose a date, and find someone to marry you. the is the jist of it. The longest part is the wait for the interview, Auburn says it may take up to 6 months.

There is also a Marriage Forum that you can look into on this website.

Hope that helps

Doll Eyes
03-22-2011, 10:34 AM
I have a question... what did you say in your letter to the Superintendent...because we are starting the process but i have no idea what to write! Thank you!

Look back on previous pages on this thread.....MissVal wrote a great letter! :)

RosesrRed
03-23-2011, 12:04 AM
I sent in my letter to Gouverneur CF last month, I used the template from the previous page. Simple and to the point. We are expecting a April wedding...

franki007
03-26-2011, 04:53 AM
Both my fiance and I were married before. He no longer has a copy of his divorce papers and I have to get divorced. What benefits are there to being married while someone is in prison? We plan on doing it when he gets out but I think he wants us to get married while he is in prison first. He was sentenced to 1-3 yrs. By the time I get all of the information and get my divorce, will it be worth the hassle to do it twice???? I love him with all my heart and I want to be his wife but is getting married while he is in prison the right thing to do??hi, just had to reply to your post.
You are saying that you are not divorced yet? that in itself might cause you some grief, I think it is how bad you want this. O.K., since i been there, is your present husband willing to give you a uncontested divorce, or is he going to contest, you do have to know were he is residing so he can be served with the divorce papers, Since, i was a domestic victim and i couldn't have access to his wereabouts i had to hire a procesor that cost $65 to $100 dollars. and that is to just have him served, don't want to be nosy but how are you getting divorced, did you hire an attorney are you going thru our ny wonderful system. If you are going thru the courts or doing this yourself, it's not as costly as hiring an attorney which cost me one thousand dollars but that also included the processors fee so he would be served without me having to see his face. The only thing i had to do was to meet up with my attorney in queens to sign the papers. While all this is going on it does give you time to think if this is what you want to do, marry know or wait until his release. i do know that when you get married you do need a copy of those divorce papers. One last thing, you mentioned that he no longer has his divorce papers, he is going to have to obtain a copy of them as well. My soon to be husband got his divorce for thirty dollars while incarcerated and has his copy all ready as i already paid the grand and started the proceedings. I hate to repeat myself but make sure that your husband to be gets his divorce papers. i do know it is a requirement of new york state. good luck to you no matter what you choose to do...

Boobi's Fiance
04-02-2011, 08:40 AM
I want to get married with my baby while in Gouverneur CF and this week will send out the letter. One question if anyone can help me, when i called they told me they do weddings on fridays and mondays but she said i would have to be there for 2 days. I live 6 hours away so i doubt i will go on a friday becuz that would mean going up there during the week. If i want a monday date, would i have to go sunday to the town clerk to get the marriage license myself? or is it in the facility. I know there is a 24 hour waiting period which is why i said i would have to go sunday, but when u get your license, dont you need both people there? im confused lol

also am i able to visit my baby while im there and after the wedding ceremony is done? or do i just go home and spend no time with him?

thanks in advance!

RosesrRed
04-02-2011, 01:50 PM
I want to get married with my baby while in Gouverneur CF and this week will send out the letter. One question if anyone can help me, when i called they told me they do weddings on fridays and mondays but she said i would have to be there for 2 days. I live 6 hours away so i doubt i will go on a friday becuz that would mean going up there during the week. If i want a monday date, would i have to go sunday to the town clerk to get the marriage license myself? or is it in the facility. I know there is a 24 hour waiting period which is why i said i would have to go sunday, but when u get your license, dont you need both people there? im confused lol

also am i able to visit my baby while im there and after the wedding ceremony is done? or do i just go home and spend no time with him?

thanks in advance!

It was explained to me that the Town Clerk is only open during the weekdays. He/She is not loacted at the CF but at another location. The reason why you would have to be there 2 days during the week is to get the license. If you want to see him you can always go up there on a friday see him Sa & Sun and get married on the Monday. But after the ceremony they told me I would not be able to visit with him so I dont know if that is standard or what :(

slimlady1937
04-02-2011, 04:31 PM
O.k. so I finally said my YES! and we're officially engaged)))
But I don't know the steps to get married :hmm:
Where should I start? I told him to write to his counselor but he doesn't have one.Any help would be appreciated!:thumbsup:

lil peep
04-02-2011, 04:53 PM
Congratulations:) I'm not sure on the process in NY or who he has to go through, but he's the one that has to start up the process. Usually the chaplain is the person to go through.

Shaneswife68
04-02-2011, 05:00 PM
CONGRATS!!! :clap:
Fabulous news!!! I am getting married as well but we are waiting until September to do it. 10 days after he gets home...:D

slimlady1937
04-02-2011, 05:06 PM
Aww))) that's so great to hear, Shaneswife! Mine will be there for a while, so we can't wait...
And Thanks Lil peep, I'll tell him to write to Chaplain.

susan stanton
04-23-2011, 08:03 PM
how would one go about setting up an arrangement to get married in prison?thanks:confused:

light at end
04-26-2011, 07:26 PM
What state is your fiance in? There are threads for pretty much every state giving information on how to get married in prison. Also if you check you specific prison forum there should be some information there. Generally the first step is your fiance needs to request the paperwork from his councelor. But the rules vary from state to state.

susan stanton
04-27-2011, 09:52 PM
What state is your fiance in? There are threads for pretty much every state giving information on how to get married in prison. Also if you check you specific prison forum there should be some information there. Generally the first step is your fiance needs to request the paperwork from his councelor. But the rules vary from state to state.
hi and thank you.my fiance is in orleans correctional facility in albion ny.

twistedhrt
05-02-2011, 02:06 PM
Hello.. im in need of a few sample letters for the intention of marriage that needs to be sent to the superintendent. there used to be plenty of them on here before they changed everything around. if anyone of you has a copy of one can you please copy & paste for me please. Me and my man want to get married. He is in Green Haven CF. Thank you ladies.:D

Doll Eyes
05-02-2011, 02:44 PM
http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=112047

MissVal wrote a really good one, and shared it with all of us, the thred is rather long, but I believe it's in like the last 5 pages or so.

RosesrRed
05-17-2011, 05:07 PM
Mrs Stevens is the couselor she was really nice. I got there on Wednesday and I stayed @ Lawrence Manor B&B. I went to the facility that afternoon. She gave me all the information and paper work I needed to get the license. Went into town got the license took it back to Mrs Stevens and we were all set for Friday.

Got there that Friday Morning around 8:45 the judge was already there waiting and Mrs Stevens took me straight back to the visiting floor where my Fiance was waiting for me. We had a few minutes to talk b4 the ceremony.

The cermony was short and sweet. My fiance wrote his own personal vows to read. I was in tears... We said our I do's and I had papers on him..lol.

They had a tour of kids going through the facility that day so we didnt get a visit afterwards, but usually you get like an hour to talk.

The guards were really nice and all in all I have no complaints. I thought they wouldnt have let my outfit through because I had a shrug that was knitted and you could somewhat see through. but they let me in with no problem. I had a beautiful wedding and now I am Mrs. Colon...

Bitter sweet cause when I went back to the Bed & Breakfast I cried my eyes out.. It was tears of joy and sadness.. 5 more months and I will have my husband in my arms forever.

MissVal1920
05-18-2011, 09:15 AM
Initiating the process for getting married in NY State:

First of all, for those of you who recently asked, I encourage you to thoroughly read through the Marriage During Confinement Directive (http://www.docs.state.ny.us/Directives/4201.pdf) on the NY DOC website. It is very helpful and clear about the basic steps you need to take to start the process. From there, the process at each facility will be a little different, however you should still start with the Directive.


FIRST - Both you and your fiancee will need to write letters to the Superintendent of his facility requesting permission to marry. You do not need to contact the Chaplain, like in many other states, in fact, as long as you and he are both eligible to marry, there is nothing that should stop you. Make sure if he was married before that he submits a divorce decree with his letter, or you may have to help him request a copy from the state he was divorced from. If he is still married to someone else, they will deny the request until it is received with his letter. Here is a sample letter (http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showpost.php?p=5270857&postcount=154) you can use to write to the facility.


SECOND - Assuming all above is on point, call the Superintendent's office 1-2 weeks later to make sure both letters were received. Usually they will verbally tell you the next steps, however, your fiancee will also receive something from the office at his facility that handles marriages. This correspondence will outline all the steps you need to take to complete the process.

THIRD - when all paperwork and subsequent meetings have been completed, depending on the facility, either they will send you the paperwork to take to the County Clerk office, or they will submit it to the office and you will go there to apply for the license. Now, when YOU go to the County Clerk office, make sure you DO NOT forget your Birth Certificate, Government photo ID, and divorce decree (if you've been married before). You will pay the fee and they will tell you when you can come back to get your license, or in some cases, they can process it while you wait.

FOURTH - When you get your license, keep in mind that in NY State you cannot marry any earlier than 24 hours after the license has been issued, and no later than 60 days afterwards.

Usually, the marriage office will not schedule your wedding date until after you've received your license in hand and had your officiant approved by the facility. This is different for each facility, but you may want to make sure what their exact process is in regards to scheduling your wedding date.

The above is just in regards to NY State.

All the best with those getting married soon!

Mrs.Havok
05-20-2011, 09:42 AM
Since my fiance and I wrote the superientendent and he was received the marriage packet, does this mean we will get a date? I have to call the family service coordinator Monday but I'm just anxious to know if this is the case. It just seemed to come so fast as we literally wrote May 4th...but I'm not complaning.

And another question has anyone married at Clinton main(what would I wear), wonder if we can visit after the ceremony since the packet said all marriages are performed on saturday's which is great b/c I won't have to take too much time off work. OMG we're really getting married WOW. Thank u

MissVal1920
05-20-2011, 09:59 AM
Since my fiance and I wrote the superientendent and he was received the marriage packet, does this mean we will get a date? I have to call the family service coordinator Monday but I'm just anxious to know if this is the case. It just seemed to come so fast as we literally wrote May 4th...but I'm not complaning.

And another question has anyone married at Clinton main(what would I wear), wonder if we can visit after the ceremony since the packet said all marriages are performed on saturday's which is great b/c I won't have to take too much time off work. OMG we're really getting married WOW. Thank u

When you call on Monday, you should be scheduling your date with the counselor, not the date of the wedding. Then again, since every facility does things differently, it could be both.

Congrats on your upcoming marriage!

O's Sweetheart
05-27-2011, 05:30 AM
Look back on previous pages on this thread.....MissVal wrote a great letter! :)

Yes, MissVal's letter was great! It helped me A LOT to write my letter. Thanks so much MissVal :) I'm getting married this Monday!

Good luck everyone on your marriages. May we all have happy, healthy, lovely unions full of never ending love forever!

O's Sweetheart
05-27-2011, 05:33 AM
Oh, and if anyone has questions on marriage at Franklin CF, feel free to pm me and ask :)

MissVal1920
05-27-2011, 01:55 PM
Yes, MissVal's letter was great! It helped me A LOT to write my letter. Thanks so much MissVal :) I'm getting married this Monday!

Good luck everyone on your marriages. May we all have happy, healthy, lovely unions full of never ending love forever!

Wow, I can't believe its already the day. Congrats to you both and much success and happiness!

O's Sweetheart
05-27-2011, 06:58 PM
Wow, I can't believe its already the day. Congrats to you both and much success and happiness!


I know! I'm so happy! Thanks <3

charisab
07-05-2011, 11:13 AM
Well , me & my man would love to get married. He's currently in Elmira c.f , I just wrote out my letter to the supertendient & so did he . But, today I called the jail to see when the marriages happen and only in march & September - also Elmira has not had the justice of peace or a someoneto marry the people thier in about a year ! I asked if I could bring my own and they told me no there working on getting somebody !! :( what to do ?! I guess wait .. & they also told me their I's people who have been on the list for a while & they will get married first ! :/

nutmeg718
07-23-2011, 06:18 AM
----------------------------------
My return address
my town, NJ 07123
December 28, 2009
Mr. Harold Graham, Superintendent
Auburn Correctional Facility
(facility address)
Dear Mr. Graham:
My name is <name>, a resident of <my home address>. I am writing this letter as an expression of interest in marrying Mr. <my boo> (DIN 00-11-2345), an inmate at Auburn Correction Facility. In keeping with the Department of Corrections’ policy and intention to assist inmates in creating stability and fostering ties with loved ones, I am respectfully asking for your prompt assistance in allowing us to be married.
In accordance with your Directive #4201, “Marriages During Confinement,” we feel that we meet the requirements as specified.
If you have any questions or concerns or require further information, please do not hesitate to contact me during the day at 000-000-0000, or in the evening at 000-000-0000. I will follow up with your office the first week of January to assure that you have received both of our requests successfully and discuss next steps in the process.
Thank you for your assistance and attention.

Sincerely,

MissVal1920
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- [/quote]
MissVal1920 do u think this will process will work for Otisville FCI? thanx.

MissVal1920
07-23-2011, 07:31 AM
MissVal1920 do u think this will process will work for Otisville FCI? thanx.

Nutmeg, this procedure is only for NY State DOC facilities. The process is a little different for BOP inmates. Here is the the BOP Directive on Marriage Procedure (http://www.bop.gov/policy/progstat/5326_004.pdf). Please review this and you will plan this process with your fiancee. There is also a thread, which speaks specifically to BOP inmates that you can access here (http://www.prisontalk.com/forums/showthread.php?t=214650). All the best and I hope you two are able to marry soon!

alirussell
08-03-2011, 08:03 PM
Hey all,

My name's Ali, I work for an Australian TV show called Sunday Night and we want to come over to the US soon to film a show about prison weddings. Is anyone out there getting married soon and would like to be on Australian TV?
Hope to hear from you!

Ali

MissVal1920
08-04-2011, 07:21 AM
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LeahCarter
08-13-2011, 09:51 PM
Has anyone gotten married at Mount McGregor C.F. ???? If so please let me know how it went and if it was a fast process and what you can wear??

Lizatwin1
08-26-2011, 11:51 AM
Hooray finally my time is here. My babe & I will be getting married at Shawangunk correctional facility in the next few weeks. Just sent letter for marriage & got approved. What can I expect from here? Feedback appreciated.

MissVal1920
08-26-2011, 09:04 PM
Hooray finally my time is here. My babe & I will be getting married at Shawangunk correctional facility in the next few weeks. Just sent letter for marriage & got approved. What can I expect from here? Feedback appreciated.

Congrats to you both on your upcoming day? Did you receive a copy of your marriage process from your fiancee and have all your dates/clergy set?? Hopefully someone from Shawangunk can give you some more specific insight to the process there.

DonnysWmn
08-27-2011, 03:51 PM
Congrats. Every New York prison is different in what they allow and do not allow. Your best bet is talk to the source and go over the letter you received. The rings must not have any stones or sharp edges and you must have a receipt for it not to exceed $ 150.00. The prison will send you all the requirments.

Lizatwin1
08-27-2011, 10:29 PM
Thank you ladies for the replies. As of yet we did not get the information however my fiancé is following up with his counselor. Unfortunately my fiancé is a bit adamant about discussing our lives with anyone. Having been incarcerated almost 2 decades he can be abrasive,desensitized, & untrustworthy with most behind the walls & the people associated with them. I have to speak with the jail as my mother has gifted my parents wedding bands (heirlooms) as a gift therefore I have no receipt. I will say the women he has allowed me to speak with are exceptional ladies. Again I am limited to what I can share with them. Thank you ladies for your wisdom.

LeahCarter
09-04-2011, 09:11 PM
I Really Want To Say Thank You To Everyone On This Post! I Got Married Today And From The Day We Sent Our Request In To The Day We Got Married It Was 3 Weeks!!! Im So Thankful That I Didnt Have A Struggle With Anything But Getting Rings In time... But It Was A Beautiful Wonderful Wedding!!!

MissVal1920
09-12-2011, 02:11 PM
I Really Want To Say Thank You To Everyone On This Post! I Got Married Today And From The Day We Sent Our Request In To The Day We Got Married It Was 3 Weeks!!! Im So Thankful That I Didnt Have A Struggle With Anything But Getting Rings In time... But It Was A Beautiful Wonderful Wedding!!!

Congratulation to the both of you honey... I wish you both the very best. Glad everything went well.

heart break23
09-17-2011, 04:56 PM
Do any one know what you have to do to get married in gouverneur facility

kikisluv396
09-23-2011, 10:40 AM
Hello,
I am new on here and had a few questions. 1st; Congrats to all that have married while waiting for their man to return home. I have been with my fiance since we were 14 and 17. 15 years later and 7 yrs into this bid he has asked me to marry him. We sent or letters to the superintendent.

We are just wondering in NYS how long did it take from sending your intent to marry to actually getting a date?

I thank you ladies in advance for any help. BTW he's in Woodbourne CF. :o:o:o

LeahCarter
09-26-2011, 03:28 PM
You both write a letter requesting to get married and they will get a hold of you. =]

kikisluv396
09-26-2011, 05:01 PM
You both write a letter requesting to get married and they will get a hold of you. =]

how long did it take you? We sent our letters 2 weeks ago and haven't heard anything yet:(:(:(

MissVal1920
09-26-2011, 05:09 PM
how long did it take you? We sent our letters 2 weeks ago and haven't heard anything yet:(:(:(

You have to stay on top of the marriage counselor office. In my letter, I gave them a date that I would follow up, which was about 3 weeks after they should have received our letters. I called the Superintendent's office to confirm they received my letter and the secretary transferred me to the marriage office. From there I was able to schedule my date with the counselor. If you wait on them they will take their sweet time.

LeahCarter
09-26-2011, 05:33 PM
how long did it take you? We sent our letters 2 weeks ago and haven't heard anything yet:(:(:(

It Only Took Us From The Time We Both Sent In Our Letters To The Day We Got Married Was 3 Weeks Hes Also In A Small Facility And The Day After They Received My Letter They Called Me, His Was In First They Were Waiting On Mine. And They Told Me The Date Was The Following Weekend. :) I Would Call If I Were You And Follow Up With Your Letters And See Whats Going On. Best Of Luck =]

kikisluv396
09-26-2011, 05:39 PM
Thank you ladies. I will call tomorrow and keep you posted. Thank you for your replies. Btw if you don't mind me asking what CF are your S/O's in?

LeahCarter
09-26-2011, 06:38 PM
Mount McGregor C.F.
In Wilton

LovingURM
09-26-2011, 06:56 PM
I got married at Clinton annex and we sent our letters in in April, got our date in May, got married in August. Congrats on your engagement :)

kikisluv396
09-29-2011, 12:38 AM
Thank you. Congrats on your nuptials. God bless your union

kikisluv396
09-29-2011, 07:40 PM
OMGggggggg Got our Marriage Packet today!!!:):o;) I'm so freaking excited. In a few weeks I will be his Mrs................. :heart::heart::heart::heart::love2::love2:

praise&k
01-27-2012, 05:31 PM
OMGggggggg Got our Marriage Packet today!!!:):o;) I'm so freaking excited. In a few weeks I will be his Mrs................. :heart::heart::heart::heart::love2::love2:

I got mine today so are u married yet

mschocolate
02-08-2012, 11:28 AM
Hi I was wondering how to get married at rikers island with non contact visits

rdesmond
02-16-2012, 07:00 AM
We were married @ Collins C.F. They have marriages 4 times per year. You both have to write to the Super requesting permission. Once ok'd, I had to call & arrange to meet w/ the FRP counselor to go up to the facility and provide my birth cert, license, etc. My husband had to provide a certified copy of his divorce also. There is a deadline - a few weeks before the marriage date by which everything has to be in. My husband is Muslim, so the facility Iman performed our ceremony. The only other option was to use the J.P. No flowers, cameras are permitted. They have the normal picture-takling available. The # of guests are limited; I cannot recall if it is possible to receive approval to have more. The marriage license form is filled out the day I went up to provide my documentation. The person officiating signs the day of the marriage and it gets sent to the local clerk. I received our certificate within a couple of weeks. The costs were minimal - I think less than $150 - fee for license and fee to the person performing the ceremony - I think the JP was $75. For clothing, all normal visit rules apply. Most people do not dress up much. Guys have to wear their green pants but can wear a shirt and tie. You may bring a wedding band that day - usual - w/ receipt, no stones, etc. Limit of value = $150. You may also send it in later.

Arie_B
02-21-2012, 05:00 PM
My fiancé Anthony and I have decided to get married while he is incarcerated. Tho he only has 3 months the parole officer said he has to be married to parole with me. We both live in NYS and I was wondering Howe long it takes to get married
PS-he is a violent offender tht I love dearly:)

LilMama3
02-29-2012, 11:25 PM
I have no idea how long it takes there, but just wanted to say best wishes to you and your guy.

Arie_B
03-03-2012, 10:48 AM
Thanks!! Date is set April 25!!

law~curious
03-03-2012, 10:54 AM
In most places all you have to do is get your license and get wit the chaplain at the facility.

Arie_B
03-03-2012, 11:39 AM
Ok thanks! I have to order a new birth certificate to get my marriage license. Do I get the long or short form?

NeedaBoo
03-03-2012, 12:39 PM
Ok thanks! I have to order a new birth certificate to get my marriage license. Do I get the long or short form?

I'm not sure where in NYS you are but I just got married in a county jail and I only needed my license to get the license. It all varies from facilities but when you get your license they'll give you a # to call and set up a date. Make sure you call right away cause the wait can be long. Good luck and congrats

NeedaBoo
03-03-2012, 12:54 PM
Got married this am in Onondaga County Justice Center in Syracuse Ny. In order for us to get out license he had to sign up for it on his pod with one of the deps and once he got approved I had to go to the jail and meet the county clerk who comes on every 3rd thursday of the month. She went and spoke with him 1st and filled out his part of the license and than came out to see me. It was $40 for the license. After she gave me a # to call and set up a date for the wedding,they do them every sat @ 0830. There was no limit to how much you could spend on his ring but it does have to be a basic type band with no stones or anything and it has to be smooth. He had to wear his state greens and he was handcuffed the whole time. Once we said our I Dos they took him back and that was it. There's no restrictions to what I could have worn. The whole ceremony lasted about 2 min. Congrats ladies and best of luck

He's Home 2011
03-03-2012, 07:22 PM
OMGggggggg Got our Marriage Packet today!!!:):o;) I'm so freaking excited. In a few weeks I will be his Mrs................. :heart::heart::heart::heart::love2::love2:


aw. i luv seeing happiness! and that is beautiful chica good luck!

keep us posted,dios....(god) bless the both of u.

Life is way 2 short just not to be truly happy.

:)

nickicole3292
03-15-2012, 06:15 AM
did you fgiure this out...my finace is in there and i would like to know how to do this? please p.m. with details

ericasawitch
03-17-2012, 08:31 PM
My love and I were married FINALLY on Friday at Cayuga Correctional Facility. This is how it is done:
1. You have to write to the super.
2. He has to write to the super AND make sure a copy goes to his counselor.
(this is because the super gets a TON of mail and it eventually goes to his counselor anyway)
3. One week after BOTH his and your letters are sent, YOU need to call his counselor to make sure they got the letters and to set up and appointment. You need to have your original birth certificate, SS card,$30 for the marriage license, CERTIFIED divorce decrees if either of you were ever married, the names of your witnesses, the name of your officiant and at least two dates in mind. During the appointment his counselor will go over details of his record including his rap sheet, his programs, his "dates"(hearing and release) his visit record and call list to make sure you know everything about your guy before you get married.
4. My friend was my MOH and her husband went online and was ordained so he could perform the service. (be careful with this because NS does not recognize all of the online ordinations. i believe it was the universal life church) My husband had a friend from his dorm stand up for him.
5. You bring his ring on the day of the ceremony and you must have the receipt. It can not be more than $150 for his ring.
6. The ceremony takes place in the visiting room and pictures are available for the usual $2/each.
7. You get a 2 hour visit after the ceremony.

It was amazing and personal and as much as I cannot wait for him to come home so we can have a big ceremony for our friends and family, being married to the love of my life, no matter where it happened, makes me the happiest wife in the world!!:lovestruck::lovestruck::lovestruck::lovest ruck:

missingmylove87
03-18-2012, 06:22 PM
Awwww I'm so happy for both of u congrats :-)

MrsWoods04
04-02-2012, 01:55 AM
Hey ALL... Im new to this first I would like to say congrats to ALL may God be with you all and your S/O's

My babe and I are engaged been together 9yrs and counting we were engaged before he got locked up now he wants to speed up the process, does anyone know if there is a specific duration of time an inmate has to serve before starting the marriage process in NYS correctional facilities? Or does it vary by facility any info would be greatly appreciated!

Again congrats to all on your beautiful unifications

4_U_2_Envie
04-09-2012, 05:59 PM
Congrats to all you ladies that have gotten married already and those who are in the process. Once I find out where my fiance is gonna be we want to start ours too. I have a question I know I read a poat that stated that one facility reviews call records and lists of your loved one while going over his file. does anyone know do if other facilities do it too

MissVal1920
04-09-2012, 06:22 PM
Hey ALL... Im new to this first I would like to say congrats to ALL may God be with you all and your S/O's

My babe and I are engaged been together 9yrs and counting we were engaged before he got locked up now he wants to speed up the process, does anyone know if there is a specific duration of time an inmate has to serve before starting the marriage process in NYS correctional facilities? Or does it vary by facility any info would be greatly appreciated!

Again congrats to all on your beautiful unifications

The Directive on Marriage (http://www.doccs.ny.gov/Directives/4201.pdf)was recently updated in March of this year and does not indicate a minimum for the inmate to be at the facility. Good luck to you both on getting the process going!

breis91
04-13-2012, 08:17 AM
My boyfriend and I would like to get married, but dont really know how to go about it. He sent a letter to the chaplin(sp?) but then got sent out to a county jail for court, has been there for a week. We were going to try and getting married in the county jail while hes there but we cant bc hes already a state prisioner. Any advice/information would help. Hes currently in Elmira. THANK YOU! (:

MissVal1920
04-13-2012, 10:44 AM
My boyfriend and I would like to get married, but dont really know how to go about it. He sent a letter to the chaplin(sp?) but then got sent out to a county jail for court, has been there for a week. We were going to try and getting married in the county jail while hes there but we cant bc hes already a state prisioner. Any advice/information would help. Hes currently in Elmira. THANK YOU! (:

Both you and your fiance must write a letter to the Superintendent at Elmira requesting permission to marry. The inmate's files will be checked to make sure he is eligible and all current marriages must be dissolved. At that point, Elmira counselor will let him and you know what you need to do from that point (getting birth certificate, SS card, etc) in order to get your license. I did not marry in Elmira, however, from what I understand they only do ceremonies in March and September, so you may want to start the process immediately do give yourselves a chance to get all the required documents. This process may also be a bit different if he is Reception, or GP? Good luck and the best to you both.

Mrs.Powell
04-19-2012, 06:35 PM
Has anyone been married at Orleans C.F. Albion,NY ?

maxsgirl
04-19-2012, 08:43 PM
I am getting married this weekend at bare hill we both had to write letters to the superintendent then they contact u and let u know if u can be nasties at the facility. The process took 4 months to get to here so start ASAP good luck ladies!!

Lizatwin1
05-01-2012, 09:21 AM
God is great!!! we got our marriage license on the 25th and we will be married May 17th! I am so excited and can't wait! now to go shopping for that right dress and shoes. wooohoooo!!! purchased rings. check. paid for pictures. check. purchased him a new shirt. check. OMG!!!! I am so excited.