Recently an ex girlfriend of my husband's wrote to him from the county jail. We got in a huge argument about how she got his address and DOC #. He insists that he did not write to her and give her his information. I know that she could get this information off the internet or maybe from calling a phone number but she is in jail and does not have access to these things. A friend of ours said that she could have put in a request at the county jail for this information and they would provide it to her. Does anyone know if this is true?

She could've even had someone else do it for her on the outside. I don't know what state you're in, but in California, all you have to know about a person to get their location and number, is their name and their birthday. --Helen

Man, i hate to start any trouble. but, i know that if he is in tx prsion, you cant get no information with you his doc number.
how ever, he is in county. do you think maybe that she could have got it through his family members?

I would agree with Helen, she could have asked someone on the outside to check for her.

Phil

I think there are many ways she could have gotten the info. Maybe someone on the outside, maybe even a guard inside. Even though information is susposed to be private, people break the rules all the time.

Has he offered to show you her letters? just curious

He told me that he did not even read the letter that he just had the guard throw it away. I find this suspicious and told him that if she ever writes again that I want him to send me the letter or at least read it to me. I know if someone wrote to me I would definetly want to read it but would not respond. He said that he does not care what she has to say does not even want to read it. I am very upset about the whole thing and have considered writing to her and asking her what she has to say to my husband and telling her to back off. I told my husband this but he expresses concern about her having my address, but maybe he doesnt want her to tell me something? She is in jail for kidnapping a girl and stabbing her four times and I don't want problems with her but I need to know. I have considered getting a po box to write to her. What do you all think?:confused:

Lulu, I know that his family did not give her the information because they love me and do not like her at all. She is a troublemaker that only got my husband another felony when she snitched on him. I think maybe someone got it for her but I seriously doubt that the jail gave it to her (she is in county and he is in DOC). I am going to call them and ask them their policy's. It may have been a guard b/c I know when my husband was in the county he had a guard written up for passing messages from her to him.

Teardrop,

Purely my opinion and how I would handle this situation.

I would not write her, I would just leave it be... If you believe your husband, then you may just stir up more trouble by getting into the mix. If he does not read the letters or respond then she will stop.

Don't get me wrong, I can see where you are coming from and I think that I would be upset too if this were happening to me - but I would just let it go.

Oh so she is in county and he is in prsion, well, she could have got any one to get that info then. I do know that in Tx you cant get nothing with out his doc number. I do know that you can find out by asking someone in such ways

TEARDROP, IF I WAS YOU, I WOULD NOT EVEN GIVE HER THE SATISFACTION OF KNOWING THAT THIS HAS CAUSED A PROBLEM BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND. SEEMS LIKE SHE IS A VIOLENT PERSON AND IF YOU HAVE CHILDREN SHE MIGHT GET BACK AT YOU SOME WAY LIKE THAT. SOME PEOPLE GET THEIR KICKS BY CAUSING TROUBLE BETWEEN OLD BOYFRIENDS AND THEIR NEW WIVES. YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND HAVE ENOUGH TO WORRY ABOUT BY HIM BEING IN PRISON. SO LET GO OF THIS, YOU ARE MARRIED TO HIM NOW, AND THAT IS WHAT SHE IS TRYING TO DO, BREAK YOU AND HIM UP OR MAKING YOUR LIFE AS UNHAPPY AS HERS IS NOW. SO JUST CONSIDER THE SOURCE AS I ALWAYS SAY, MAYBE HE DID THROW THE LETTER AWAY WITHOUT READING IT, TAKE HIS WORD IF YOU LOVE HIM. SHE WILL JUST GET A GOOD LAUGH IF YOU BOTHER TO WRITE HER A LETTER, DON'T GIVE HER A REASON TO LAUGH AND BE HAPPY BECAUSE SHE HAS MADE YOU DOUBT YOUR HUSBAND.
I LIKE THE REST I BELIEVE SHE GOT SOMEONE ON THE OUTSIDE TO GET HER THE INF. BUT PUT HER OUT OF YOUR MIND, YOUR MARRIAGE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN A LETTER FROM AN OLD GIRLFRIEND. PUT ALL YOUR ENGERY INTO YOUR RELATIONSHIP WITH YOUR HUSBAND. JUST MY OPINION HOPE IT HELPS YOU.

Thank you for your support everyone. I am with you all, I will not write her and give her the satisfaction of knowing that she has caused problems. I have decided to believe my husband that he did not read the letter and when he does not respond, then she will get the point and not write again. I am just very upset but it is best to let it go. She is a very violent person; she even hit me when I was pregnant and would have done more if my husband had not stopped her. I totally agree that she would hurt my son if she had the chance. Thank you, Irist and Teb, very good advice and I really appreciate it all. I've just been taking things really hard lately and crying a lot.:(

oh my goodness. she sure is something, huh?
All the best to you teardrop

Teardrop
I'm glad you decided to believe your hubby. Just remember, he probably wouldn't have told you if he had initiated the correspondence. There are a million ways that one can find someone, believe me, I do a little Private Investigating for a few people and public information is easier than you may think to find out. What state are you in and I may be able to help you find out how she did it. I am also glad that you decided to not write to her. That will only give her the satisfaction of knowing that she got you mad :) Keep your head up and keep believing in your husband!!
diane

Oh, I forgot to add that ANY inmate can refuse any mail that comes to them.
diane

Thank you Lulu and Diane!! Diane, I am in Colorado. I know that the info is easy to come by as I found out his info myself very easily when he got placed and could not write for ten days just by making a phone call and giving his birth date. You are right that he would not have told me that she wrote if he had wrote her first and that is the thing that has made me believe in him. Thank you for all of your support when I need it the most!

I'm voting for leave this chick alone. She's toxic.
I am curious about the part where she might have had a hand in his charges... and she has written something or other to him since.

He certainly should have kept the letter, and forwarded it to you or atty or someone who gives a rodent's behind.
The passwords are "Newly Discovered Evidence", "Admission Against Penal Interest"... for the purposes of a post conviction relief claim or impeachment of a witness,.. nothing beats a happy handwritten letter which can be authenticated by date and disposition when it's received in an institution.

This would be yet another reason for him not to entertain replying... That would give her the very same position. She'd have his "prison mail uncensored' return envelope and content that could come to bite him in the ass.

She's toxic,... as I said. Keep the things she's sent for a rainy day.

Life,
Thank you for the post as this is information that I did not know. She made a statement to police and testified against him in court. Because she did this to him, I believe him that he wants nothing to do with her. I will definetly let him know that he needs to send me her letters in the future and of course I will keep them and who knows? Maybe they will come in handy!!

If she's recanted her testimony in the letter, or mitigated it, or given him some reason to believe that person X 'made' her say those things.... RUN to an atty with the letter.

If she's done none of those things, but had in her testimony said anything about a 'fear' of your husband or something like that.... the FACTs that she's been eager to chat w/ him (see Jail guard for statement) and has intentionally managed to write to him since he's been upstate --speaks volumes about how not in fear she must be.

If none of those things play out... STILL keep the letters... She seems the sort to be a perpetual threat. Particularly if she's got her own charges pending... You'd be amazed whose 'back' folks are willing to climb over to get out of their own hole.

men are like that they decide they dont want to do something and they dont so if your husband said he threw it away he probably did has he ever lied to you before if she was that kind of whack I wouldnt write her she could come after you or your kids if she got out but best of luck to you I know this is a hard time and for her to add this to it makes her a b***h

Thank you udevilish!! I absoletly agree, she is a b____ and a dangerous one at that. I believe my husband even though I did have some doubts. I am definetly going to leave her alone :)

In Minnesota you just have to put in a name. In Illinois it is the same, just a name.

You know.... just throwing in another perspective here...
If I ended up in jail... I just might turn to an ex-boyfriend for help... especially one who truly seemed to care for me...
boyfriends usually promise they will "always" care... and "always be there for you"... too...
I don't think it's fair to assume this woman's intentions are bad,
nor do I think it was fair necessarily not to read her letter.
Also, she may have confided some things in your husband that your husband feels it better for you not to know.
Who knows... just because she's in prison doesn't even mean she's actually done something wrong.
I don't know the situation but like I said, I just wanted to throw in another perspective...

I didn't read the replies. Sorry.

Life,
Thank you for the post as this is information that I did not know. She
made a statement to police and testified against him in court. Because
she did this to him, I believe him that he wants nothing to do with
her. I will definetly let him know that he needs to send me her
letters in the future and of course I will keep them and who knows?
Maybe they will come in handy!!

How do you guys know it wasn't an apology? Unless you guys read the letter.... you have no clue what her true motives are.

Ok, I read all of the replies, it seems like she has done something wrong...sorry, I didn't mean to imply she hadn't (yikes.. kidnapping a girl and stabbing her 4 times :'( and hitting you when you were pregnant?! yes I would want nothing to do with her too :( )
I agree with the others though, let your husband deal with the situation himself.
I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't read the letter - I remember getting letters from my ex-boyfriend which I refused to read
(of course he wasn't as bad as this woman apparently was!) - they just hurt way too much.
I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't care to read her letter because of the same reason, they would just hurt too much,
especially given the fact that she did some pretty terrible things.
So yes...I'd say along with the others to just let it go.

my husband is also in Colorado prisons, Buena Vista, where is your hubby at teardrop? Jessy