Ok I posted a few days ago about being pregnant and that things weren't going to good. Well they got worse tonight. He was late 2 1/2 hours getting home. We were supposed to go visit a friend in the hospital. I asked him what was going on, HE FLIPPED out. My exact words were " Were where you I thought we were going to the hospital. He starts screaming at me, saying that I just don't know when to leave him alone:angry: . Then he starts slamming doors and acting stupid. So I just leave him alone and don't say anything else. He got in the shower I was in the bedroom, on the phone he came in and asked who i was talking to, so I told him, he grabbed the phone and hung it up, and I started to walk out he grabbed me and shoved me down on the floor. Then he grabbed me on the face and squeezed hard, it really hurt, and it scared me. I was crying and I went into living room, he followed me and as I went to sit down he kicked the coffee table over and it hit me and glass went all over me, when I fell I landed on my arm and really hurt my elbow, its swollen and purple. I was so affraid of him. He pulled all the phones out of the walls. He kept screaming and just acting crazy he has NEVER done anything like this before. He wasn't like this before. I don't know him anymore. Is this adjusting to being home, have I done something to make him act like this? He's in bed now and I know this sounds crazy but I'm kinda scared to sleep in there with him. But if I don't he may start again, or if I go in there he might act stupid too. I can't leave I have no where to go, he will go nuts if I ask him to leave. Its easy for me to hear stories about other people going through this and I think she should leave him, but its hard for me to think about it when its me. I never thought this could happen to us, he's the only person I have ever been with, since I was 16 he's supposed to love me, now I think thats just a joke. He never actually hit me, but he didn't have too. He scared me and hurt me on purpose. I just can't stop crying.:cry: This whole thing is stupid. I am so confused, what should I do??????????????? If this adjusting then I don't know how people get through it. I don't think I can.

Please Help??? :( Its embarassing. :o And I don't know what to do???:confused:

i sent you a pm..

You haven't got a lot of choice if he doesn't want to work on this with you. But only you can figure that one out.

GET OUT! Please, you do not deserve to be treated like that under any circumstances honey. And you're pregnant too...what if he has another "tantrum" and hurts you and the baby. If you don't have any family that stays near you, go to a friend or neighbors house for awhile, even a motel if you can. Until YOU can understand that you don't deserve to be treated that way. Baby doll, you are a queen and he needs to treat you as such. It doesn't matter if he's been in prison for 100 years, he has no right to treat you like that. Please be strong and take care of yourself, I will keep you in my prayers and if ever you need to talk to someone please PM me. I see that you are from GA and so am I, if you need a friend I'm here. Take care sweetie!!!

MissDB

girl i just pm you.

I agree with MsDB...please leave.
I know that it is a difficult thing to do and that you are probably torn; but I fear for your safety in this situation.

I don't know where you are located in Georgia, but you can call a DV Hotline number anytime day or night and arrangements can be made to get you to a safe place, now.

Love to you,

Freya

Georgia Domestic Violence Shelters:



Georgia Advocates For Battered Women and Children 250 Georgia Ave., SE Atlanta GA 30312 (404)524-3847 1-800-643-1212


Liberty House of Albany, Inc. P.O. Box 2046 Albany GA 31702 Business #: 912-439-7094 Hotline/Crisis: 912-439-7065


Project Safe P.O. Box 7532 Athens GA 30604 Business #: 706-549-0922 Hotline/Crisis: 706-543-3331


Council on Battered Women, Inc. P.O. Box 54383 Atlanta GA 30308 Business #: 404-870-9600 Hotline/Crisis: 404-873-1766


Women's Crisis Center P.O. Box 87515 Atlanta GA 30337 Business #: 404-969-6421 Hotline/Crisis: 404-969-6423


Safe Homes of Augusta, Inc. P.O. Box 3187 Augusta GA 30914 Business #: 404-736-2499 Hotline/Crisis: 404-736-2499


S.A.F.E. P.O. Box 11 Blairesville GA 30512 Business #: 706-745-4832 Hotline/Crisis: 706-745-8900


North Georgia Mountain Crisis Network, Inc. P.O. Box 1249 Blue Ridge GA 30513 Business #: 706-632-8401 Hotline/Crisis: 706-632-8400


Amity House P.O. Box 278 Brunswick GA 31321 Business #: 912-264-4363 Hotline/Crisis: 912-264-4357


Calhoun/Gardon County Council on Battered Women P.O. Box 2315 Calhoun GA 30703 Business #: 706-629-6065 Hotline/Crisis: 706-629-1111


Carroll County Emergency Shelter 815 Dixie Street P. O. Box 2192 Carrolton GA 30117 Business #: 404-834-1141 Hotline/Crisis: 404-834-1141


Tranquility House P.O. Box 1383 Carterville GA 30120 Business #: 404-386-8779 Hotline/Crisis: 404-386-8779


Habersham Circle of Hope P.O. Box 371 Clarksville GA 30523 Business #: 706-776-3406 Hotline/Crisis: 706-776-3406


The Women's Crisis Center of the Masters Inn, Inc. P.O. Box 87515 College Park GA 30337 Business #: 404-969-6421 Hotline/Crisis: 404-969-6423


Columbus Alliance for Battered Women, Inc. P.O. Box 5840 Columbus GA 31906 Business #: 706-324-3850 Hotline/Crisis: 706-324-3850


Women's Support Network Route 3 Box 685 Covington GA 30209 Business #: 706-929-6789 Hotline/Crisis: 706-929-6789


Family Haven P.O. Box 1160 Cumming GA 30130 Business #: 404-889-6384 Hotline/Crisis: 404-887-1121


Noah's Ark P.O. Box 685 Dahlonega GA 30720 Business #: 706-864-1986 Hotline/Crisis: 706-864-1986


Paulding Co. Hope House P.O. Box 1056 Dallas GA 30132 Business #: 404-445-5098 Hotline/Crisis: 404-445-5098


Northwest Georgia Family Crisis Center, Inc. P.O. Box 554 Dalton GA 30722 Business #: 706-278-6595 Hotline/Crisis: 706-278-6595


Women's Resource Center of DeKalb County P.O. Box 171 Decatur GA 30031 Business #: 404-688-9436 Hotline/Crisis: 404-688-9436


S.H.A.R.E. House, Inc. P.O. Box 723 Douglasville GA 30133 Business #: 404-489-7513 Hotline/Crisis: 404-489-7513 Toll Free #: (800)643-1212


Wings P.O. Box 8277 Dublin GA 31040 Business #: 912-272-2129 Hotline/Crisis: 912-272-2129


Fayette County Council on Battered Women P.O. Box 854 Fayetteville GA 30214 Business #; 404-460-1604 Hotline/Crisis: 404-460-1604


Army Family Advocacy Shelter Building #2640 Fort Benning GA 31905 Business #: 706-545-5516 Hotline/Crisis: 706-545-6969


Office of the Staff Judge Advocate Building #34401 Fort Gordon GA 30905 Business #: 706-791-2847 Hotline/Crisis: 706-791-2979


Gateway House, Inc. P.O. Box 2962 Gainesville GA 30503 Business #: 404-536-5860 Hotline/Crisis: 404-536-5860


Christian Women's Center P.O. Box 803 Griffin GA 30224 Business #: 404-227-3700 Hotline/Crisis: 227-3700


The County Protective Agency P.O. Box 1937 Hinesville GA 31313 Business #: 912-368-9200 Hotline/Crisis: 912-368-9200


Project L.O.V.E., Inc. P.O. Box 2107 La Grange GA 30241 Business #: 706-884-7589 Hotline/Crisis: 706-882-1000


Cherokee Family Violence Center, Inc. P.O. Box 424 Lebanon GA 30146 Business #: 404-479-1804 Hotline/Crisis: 404-479-1703


Macon Rescue Mission Battered Women Division P.O. Box 749 Macon GA 31052 Business #: 912-935-8626 Hotline/Crisis: 912-935-8626


YWCA Crisis Intervention 48 Henderson Street Marietta GA 30064 Hotline/Crisis: 404-427-3390


Association For Prevention of Domestic Violence P.O. Box 1241 McDonough GA 30253 Business #: 404-954-9220 Hotline/Crisis: 404-954-9229


Milledgeville/Baldwin County Rape Crisis Center P.O. Box 632 Milledgeville GA 31061 Business #: 912-453-4673 Hotline/Crisis: 912-453-6537


Association on Battered Women of Clayton County P.O. Box 870386 Morrow GA 30287 Business #: 404-961-7233 Hotline/Crisis: 404-961-7233 Toll Free #: (800)643-1212


Hospitality House For Women, Inc. P.O. Box 6163 Rome GA 30162 Business #: 706-235-4608 Hotline/Crisis: 706-235-4673


Savannah Area Family Emergency Shelter, Inc. P.O. Box 22487 Savannah GA 31403 Business #: 912-234-9999 Hotline/Crisis: 912-234-9999


Camden Community Crisis Center, Inc. P.O. Box 1323 St. Mary's GA 31588 Business #: 912-882-7858 Hotline/Crisis: 912-882-7858


Brother Charlie Rescue Center P.O. Box 783 Tifton GA 31793 Business #: 912-382-0577 Hotline/Crisis: 912-382-0577


The Haven, "Battered Women's Shelter, Inc." P.O. Box 5382 Valdosta GA 31603 Business #: 912-244-1765 Hotline/Crisis: 912-244-1765


The Salvation Army Safe House P.O. Box 2408 Warner Robins GA 31099 Business #: 912-923-2348 Hotline/Crisis:912-923-6294


The Shelter 1204 1\2 Blackshear Ave. Waycross GA 31501 Business #: 912-285-5850 Hotline/Crisis: 912-285-5850

Follow your intuitions. Be Safe & Take Care of Yourself.

Melissa

Ok.. first off you did nothing to cause him to act this way to you so don't think that you did.... and NO, this isn't adjusting, this is him being abusive to you.

Is there drug use involved? That could explain his acting that way... also if he was doing something he shouldn't have been doing then that would explain why he got mad at you for asking him where he was...

I am wishing you the best and you say you have nowhere to go.. it sounds to me like he is the one that needs to leave. If you really want him out, you can call the police on him. I know that is probably not what you want to hear but he just abused you and you need to protect yourself and your baby...

Please be safe...

I think you should take your daughter and yourself out of there before things get worse. No, he hasn't hit you, but his behavior shows that he is unable to control himself. For the sake of your girl and your unborn child, please go to a safe place for a while. This is not a result of him adjusting. He is very wrong for acting like you described. Please go.

You've been given a lot of good resources here, you need to use them. You can not blame yourself for his actions but you can make your own choice to leave. Do not stay with him, he may not have hit you but you are being abused. It may be hard to leave him but this isn't just about you, you have your kids to look out for - their safety and well being has to be your first priority. Neither you or your kids deserve to live in an environment where fear resides. Please help yourself and your kids and leave this situation before it gets worse.

You're in my prayers. If you need to talk PM me.
Lana

YOu and your daughter HAVE to get out of there now!!!! you can figure it out after you are safel!!!!!!

his vile conduct is the tip of the iceburg ! this is an insight into what this man is really like!
men who hit women and children are lower then a snakes belly!
domestic vilence KILLS
get him out of your life !
i wish you strength and peace

You have a lot of good advice, so I'm just going to say please go somewhere where you will be safe and not scared. Hold your head!

Freya, Said it all honey.I know becasue Ive been throughthis before.There is help.I just said a prayer for you.

At this point, it doesnt matter why he was abusive, you just need to LEAVE. Get out now. It will only get worse.

I think too that you should go out of it. He treated you completely without regard for you and your baby. I fear that it can just get worse...
He seemed not to be the right man for you any more - above all not the right father.
I am sorry for what you have to go through right now but I fear that there is only one right solution: leave him - as difficult it may seem for you at the moment. NO ONE has the right to treat you like that. Take good care of you - I wish you all the best for the coming time.
Stinie

I have to agree with the others....you need to get out or he needs to get out. Do you think he is using drugs...that is what it sounds like. I am sorry you are going through this, but unfortunatly situations like this only get worse and escalate. Obviously you cant talk to him about it therefore you need to leave. I know this is hard, but his behavor is completely uncalled for. And no, this isnt part of adjusting to life outside the walls..this is serious and dangerous. You did nothing to deserve this. Follow all the advice you have been given and please get out.

I agree with JustLisa. It sounds like there could be some type of drug use or behavior that he is ashamed of, particularly if he's never behaved this way before. Please be safe. Your well being and the baby need to be your #1 priority right now no matter what.

Oh honey, I have been through this. My ex got crazy one night too, he threatend me with a knife, he beat the you know what out of me. the whole time I begged him to stop, and he didn't. I felt as you did, ashamed, etoo embarrased to tell anyone, afraid etc. You hve to do what you need to do to get safe. YOU did not do anything wrong. You may feel that you love him, but you need to get away from this situation to protect yourself. I didn't at first and I will forever regret that. PLEASE, please, help yourself, got to a shelter, go anywhere but there!

Ma im not in Georgia im in Charlotte NC .. you and your daughter are welcome in my home anytime girl - dont trip ma - get out - and if he comes to my door a 41 will meet him ...

pm me anytime ..

donna

PLEASE LEAVE. HE SOUNDS UNPREDICTABLE...YOU DONT WANT TO BE AROUND SOMEONE YOU DONT FEEL SAFE AROUND AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT HE WILL BE HITTING YOU INSTEAD OF KICKING TABLES AROUND. GET OUT AND GO SOMEWHERE SAFE AND DONT TELL HIM WHERE YOU ARE. LEAVE WHILE HE IS OUT AND CHANGE ALL YOUR PHONE NUMBERS. MAY GOD PROTECT YOU AND YOUR BABIES.

Please don't be embarrassed! If anything, he should be embarrassed! You said he didn't hit you, but what he did was worse! I went through the same thing with someone and stayed because I thought they loved me! He doesn't love you to act like that! If you put up with it, it will only get worse! If you have no where to go, find a shelter, but get out!

Ditto on what everyone else said....please leave. You can't risk you and your child's life anymore. Get help now.

you know, I read all of these messages and I can't help but think of the saying, "it's easier said than done" I'm sure all of you who wrote to her were thinking that when you were writing but I can't imagine what might be going through her head right now. Girl, whatever you do, if you want to stay with him, we will all still be here for you and support you. If you want to work it out, maybe sometime in the future, when he is not mad or "crazy" talk to him about getting some counceling or something. If you want to do it together, that is fine but it doesn't sound like it's you- it sounds like it is HIM. So I'm not gonna tell you to leave him but something has to change or it will turn into a big snowball and things WON'T change. But you might have to start the process. And pray about it. God is the best listener. And talk to us about it. We are always here for you, okay? It'll be okay.:)

I understand what Gringabonita is saying- many women don't choose to leave early in an abusive relationship and instead cut off their support system because they don't want their disapproval. I agree- we all want you to be safe but we also want you to keep in touch. The other women are giving you the benefit of their experiences- please listen and at least make a call to one of the resources offeredt oyou. Even if you don't feel you want to leave now, you will know your options and have the benefit of their wisdom. Many of the counselors have walked in your shoes, and will understand your situation. I know you will make the right decision, please remember that we are here for you.

I came back to this thread to see if you had left any more messages. I hope all is well with you and your kids. Gringabonita is right, while we all have said leave because we are concerned for your safety - it is easier said than done. We all know this and no matter what you decide to do, you do have our support. Just know you don't have to go through this alone, we are all here to support you. I hope you're doing well.
Lana

You have to leave! You were jsut given a very long list of places to go. This is NOT your fault and this is not the way people adjust from prison! Take care of you and your daughter and your unborn baby!

In the 20 years that I've been dating women I've never once grabbed a womens face out of anger. If he can't control his temper and have a normal talk with you about what happend then you need to leave untill he gets his brain back. It's not normal to abuse the mother of your unborn child.

To make it even more clear he has commited assault/battery and either kidnapping or false imprisonment.

Please do not stay with this man. They will use just being out as excuse to act like this. When in all reality they that is how they act anyway... I learned the hard way. Louis acted like that from jump and I stayed with him. He got locked back up and he still acted a fool on the inside. It took a long time to leave him but I did it. And now when I look back on all of this. I was the fool to beleave that it was just because he just got out.... Please be careful and you do what you have to do.. I know what it is like to walk on eggshells around someone.. Please remember that you did nothing for him to act like this at all!!!!!

Run like **** from this guy!You don't need this kind of crap.To quote Ann Launders(And with apologies to the same)"Learn a trade or a skill.And run as if your life depened on it.Because it DOES."
patybear

anyone heard from her? i hope she is doing ok..

She's been on my mind all week. I hope everything is alright.

I've been thinking about her too and hoping that we haven't heard from her because she left and is in a safe place. If anyone hears anything, please let us all know.

Lana

My thoughts and prayers are with you (((((((((hugs))))))))))
Please let us know that you are ok.

Hey everyone, I am Fine... I did do something. I waited and called his PO when he left for work. I explained the situation to him and he said that he'd take care of it. I thought Ty would be in jail, but instead his PO brought him home made him pack some bags and left. Turns out he failed his drug screen and admitted that he had been using drugs. So he had to check into a rehab, or go to lock up and finish his last 4 years, he went to rehab. He will be there 180 days. After that his PO is gonna help him get his own place for awhile. He will still have his job. He isn't allowed to call except days that I go to my Dr. The calls will be monitored. I have to go to Family Reconstruction Therapy with him, I'm only doing it so we can learn together about his addiction, for my children. I am so glad that I had so much support on here because if not I would not have had the strength to do anything his family is very upset at me but I do NOT care I am his wife I do want whats best for him, even if he doesn't see things that way. I can't change what happened, but I can prevent it from happening again. I'm his wife not his punching bag. From talking to his PO his drug use is pretty intense, I never knew. Thats funny I live with him, share my life with him and didn't even know. I was so busy being supportive, that I never noticed how bad things were. I love him with all my heart, but I don't like who he has become. For now I am a little lonely, but doing great. I have been resting alot better. I am only concentrating on my daughter and my pregnancy, and enjoying the peace and quiet, the feeling of being safe.

THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR STRENGTH AND SUPPORT, it helped me and my children more than you know......Because of you we can sleep tonight without being affraid.... Thanks and WE LOVE YOU ALL........((HUGS))

Please leave. My friend didn't didn't leave, she wanted to try and work things out, she is dead now. He shot her in front of her two little girls and then killed himself. I'm not trying to be over dramatic, but these are dangerous situations. If you still want to work on things, do it from a position of safety and strength, not out of fear and desperation. Please be safe and go.

You should be very proud of yourself for making that phone call. It takes a strong person to do what you did. I'm so happy to hear that you and your children are safe. Don't worry about his family, you did the right thing for your family.

You always have our support!!

Missin_you_2 ,

Mahalo for the update!

You did the right thing and have no need to second guess or re-think your decision to call someone for help. I can lay my worries to rest knowing you are all safe and that your husband is getting the help he needs. Your family will remain in my thoughts and prayers. :grouphug:

Aloha,
Lisa

I'm so glad your ok and that everything worked out for the best!! Hope he gets clean and stays clean, for you, him and your children. Good luck!!!

Good for you- and it sounds like he has that rarity of all rarities- a PO who is concerned and trying to help him make a success of things! They usually either give them a hard time or ignore them altogether, neither of which seems very productive. I hope he appreciates the double dose of luck he got between that PO and you!! Stay in touch and let us know how it goes.

Even though i dont know your story (only what you have said in this thread), it doesnt sound to me as if this is part of the 'adjustingperiod'. He seems to have started the abuse process of domestic violence! I would get out of there if i was you. i know that it is easier said that done, because i have been there - TWICE!! This is just the start of things. Trust me... things WILL get worse! :(

Oh... ive just read the updated. Good on you for calling his PO, and thankfully the PO has gotten him the help that he needs. :thumbsup:

WOW, missing you 2! I'm just coming into this late and now see that you have found a good resolution to what happened between you and your husband. Now you can concentrate on you, your daughter and your pregnancy. That is enough on your plate. And hopefully your husband will get the help that he needs to overcome this issue in his life.

Nonetheless, please be careful and please keep yourself, your daughter and your unborn child safe. That is PARAMOUNT!

Girl my exhusband was not a excon but it took me black and blue eyes, busted ribs, a shattered kneecap and a gun to my head fully loaded to realize I needed to leave...

Don't Be HardHeaded Like I Was...GET OUT!

Take care of you and the children...BE SAFE!

HUGS
~Nikki~

all i can say is "YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH" u go girl

You have gotten a lot of good advice and I know it is easier said than done. I have been where you are now. I did not think I had anywhere else to go, we had two kids, they deserved to have their daddy, I could not support them on my own, I loved him and it must have been something I did, if only this and if only that. That was what went through my head. He was sorry and it would never happen again. One excuse after another. It will happen again. It will be hard to do it on your own, but you can do it. Kids do see what is going on and they follow those foot steps. He could have killed the baby, not to mention you. Getting out is hard advice to accept, but you and the baby will lose in the end if you do not. When I finally had enough of the excuses, I put him in jail. I heard all the it was my fault and look what I did to him. They do it to themselves. If you do not put yourself first, then put that unborn child first. You are the one who has to make this decision, noone can make it for you. I am here if you need to talk. It may take me a day to get back to you, but I will. I work full time, go to college full time and raise two kids on my own, so I know it can be done. Trust in the Lord with all of your heart.

Considering this member hasn't been active since November this post should be closed.