Hello everyone! I know it's been awhile since I've posted on here, but I have been extremely busy with 15 hours a week of school and 40 hours a week of work. Not to mention a boatload of homework, lol! Anyways, I love this web site and the people on it, so I wasn't just abandoning you all! I am just busy. It's amazing how comforting it is to know that there are others out there facing the same problems that I am. And it's great that we all support each other during good and bad times. I even have met some wonderful people who were also visiting loved ones down at Southern Michigan Correctional Facility. Sometimes it just makes things better to talk to someone who can really understand.
Anyways, this is a little off topic for our board, but I was wondering if anyone knew any information about paternity testing. Shortly after I started to get my visits with my sweetie, he was sent a paper by way of his counselor concerning child support, but it wasn't for his son. It was from a woman he doesn't remember asking for a DNA test to find out if he is the father of her baby girl. He was devastated by this, not only because he has no way to provide for her right now obviously, but because he would be no kind of father because she is, I think, about a year old and he will never be able to be a 'daddy' to her as he said. He might be able to be a father, but should he spend the whole 4 year minimum or more (judging by the frequent denials of parole recently), he would have missed most of her childhood and she wouldn't know him. He decided not to get a DNA test because it would not benefit her or him right now, but I think it's also because he would be very hurt if it is true that he is the father. She wrote him a letter saying she doesn't know for sure because she also slept with another guy shortly after him. It was obviously a one night stand sort of thing because he still doesn't remember her even after her letter. He thought I would be upset about this but how could I when he didn't know me then? It's kind of bothering me, though, that he didn't just get the test done and I'm afraid that he'll be in trouble for it or something. He's turned it down two times already and they didn't make a big deal about it, but does anyone know if this will affect him negatively? I don't know how these things work at all, I've never had to deal with them. I do know the money situation of it (if she requests the test and he's not the father, she pays for it, if he is, he pays for it), but that's the extent of my knowledge. So if anyone knows anything, I'd appreciate your input.
Oh, yeah! We found out some good news! There is a statute that states that if a person is given different terms for prison time by their lawyer in agreement of a plea (no contest in his case), he has grounds to file a plea withdrawal. The only problem with this is that it was supposed to be filed at the same time as his leave for appeal which has long since passed. There is still hope though, that he will be able to withdraw his plea (his lawyer is in agreement with this) based on this. Should this happen, he would get a whole new trial and have the opportunity for a plea bargain unlike the first time when John McBain would offer no such thing. He might be able to plead to a lesser charge then, and anything less would bring him home to me, most likely, on present time served. We should hear some news within the next couple months on this. I hope and pray that it's good news because I love him so much and would love to have him back in my arms again! Or be back in his! Sorry this is so long, but anyway, I'll keep everyone posted and hope that you are all doing well! Thanks for listening!

Hi there :)
I just wanted to give you a little input on the DNA thingy. If he doesn't take the test, and it turns out that he is the father, the lady can go after him for back child support, yes even if he is locked up. The state doesn't forgive child support just b/c they're locked up. It could definately impact him in the future. In my advice, I would tell him to go ahead and do the test WHILE he is locked up, he may not have to pay for it if he ends up being the father, the State will pay for it. But I think that knowing sooner rather than later is the best thing all the way around. Also, if he doesn't take the test, the state might go ahead and say that since he isn't fighting the paternity, then he automatically assumes paternity, and it could cause problems again for him. This is just my advice, cuz I am going through a similar thing right now but this child is 8, and the mother has told my husband that he is the dad from day one, but he's always had doubts. So we're trying to find a way to get a paternity test done. I'd tell him to go ahead and get it over with just to be sure. That way, he will know, and you will know.
I wish you both the best!!
diane

I hope this does not sound offensive, but I think it is very selfish for him to refuse to take the DNA test. If he is the father, the child has the right to know who her father is and have him listed on the birth certificate. I disagree that it would not benfit him or her to know right now. There are many things that could be done even from prison to establish and maintain a relationship. If he is not the father, everyone knows the truth. A win-win situation for everyone in my view. I did not realize you could refuse a DNA test?

2 things...
An "Alford Plea", Nolo Contendre, No Contest Plea" VS Standard Guilty plea....

Day 2 legal aid training. Woman said " Taking a guilty plea is like having a 100 lb rock tied around your neck and being tossed into the River" --from the aspect of getting Post Conviction Relief...
"Taking an Alford Plea (or the like) is being tossed into that river with a 95lb. rock tied to you."

Paternity suits for male prisoners are common.
AFDC form (and that benefit wheel of fortune) insist on some ID for the father (or list of 5 likely suspects). The idea is that if the Govt is fronting money/benes to the child they want the mother to participate in some way to give them a person to recover the money from at some point down the road.
If that person is in prison, they can actually 'garnish' state pay.

The 'letter' stating mother wanted his support.. confused me.
Was it a court order or atty involved notification that he was actually being SUED for paternity/support?
Until and unless he is sued by someone, he doesn't have to do anything.
If he is sued, then he has to make himself available for blood testing for paternity.. Good news... Woman/state who brings the claim has to pay for it.
Some states may vary in procedure but generally, he'd have to actually be facing a court judgement ordering support or back support before paternity, or lack of it, is at issue.

Hi Andie....

I guess I have mixed emotions about this. If at all possible...ALL children need to know who their father is. If the other man involved turns out to not be the father then I feel he should have the test done.

But also...what are the mother's motives??? IS she just looking for child support or does she truly want her child to have a father???

Check the laws here in Michigan...I know my husband wasn't responsible for child support as long as he is in prison. But I do know that if this woman is on public assistance, he will probably be held accountable for the costs of the DNA testing, hospital costs and all of that......but check into it first.

Mrs. D

In Michigan the parent does not have to pay child support while incarcerated. There's a law supporting it.....I know we fought it and won. \

It stops it from stock piling while they're in. BUT, the minute they get out child support starts. Hope this helps....

Deb

Wow, some of you took this entirely the wrong way, I'm sorry! It's not that he doesn't want to be a father to the girl(NOT being one and just finding out now that he might HAVE a child that he didn't know about is what is upsetting him), but that he's upset about not finding out it could be possible until now, so much later in her life. I mean, I think that it's selfish of her to just now let him know oh, by the way, you might be the father of my kid. I think that's lousy and I know hurts him that he didn't know before (it's not like he didn't take precautions in order to prevent pregnancy because he did). Should he find out he IS the father, then he would want to be a good dad to her, but it is hard to be while he is incarcerated (she's only about one, I believe so a relationship with her would be EXTREMELY difficult, even though I know he would give every effort to be). He takes great pride in his relationship with his son and loves him dearly. He is missing him bad right now too because his ex-wife doesn't want him to see him (his son is two) even though he still has joint custody and should be allowed to visit.
The reason the woman wants him to be tested (and no, it's not a court order) is to receive medicaid for the baby because she has some sort of physical ailment that I'm not sure of. She was nice in her letter and explained this but it was after he already denied the test. I'm pretty sure (not 100%) that she's not asking for any child support, she just wants to be able to get health coverage from the AFDC. I understand her position, but why in the world would she not tell him about her until now? I guess I have a negative view on this because my aunt and uncle's marraige was destroyed when my aunt found out her husband was cheating on her when some woman, long after the baby was born again, sued my uncle for child support. It turned out he wasn't even the father. I respect her for trying to get aid for her child because I know how it is, I was on Medicaid and welfare most my life growing up in a house with only a working mother, but I am really looking down on her for sleeping around and not telling the guys that she had slept with that they might have a child. I mean, didn't she care? I know I would if I became pregnant. I know I don't know the circumstances surrounding her reason, but it still upsets me a little because it upsets him a LOT. Plus, the poor girl has never even known her father because of it and that's just wrong. Anyway, thanks for everyone's input and I hope that all is well! Smiles!

At the KY printshop I actually printed AFDC and WIC forms. That is how I know that you have a max of 5 spots to roster the shortlist of suspects who might be the father, and their last known address. Again, it is done so the govt HAS someone to pursue to garnish wages.
Personalities, timing, and emotion aside...
She can get the AFDC by filling out the form. She will not be denied coverage because he doesn't 'claim' the child.
The only thing that could be gained by her asking him by letter to "claim" the child is that she'd have a piece of paper wherein he did claim the child. I'm guessing he wasn't named on the birth certificate.
Since you have some Welfare related experience, you should agree that she need not have any input from the father to get her benefits for the child.
He is not holding up her AFDC or anything.
He is currently keeping her from waiving around a piece of paper wherein he claims the child... It's THAT sort of thing that is "cause" for a court ordered paternity test.
It's that sort of thing which would get backfiled in the files of every caseworker she's got. It would likely cause him to be daddy warbucks (with or without the conclusive test).
Don't know why she didn't name him before..
Now she might just be looking to get him to name himself.
You can wonder why.

Did she know where he was ? Perhaps that might be why it took a while to find him. But regardless I hope it all turns out well for everyone involved, especially the child of course. Good luck and hope you get your answers.

Witchlin

she should be able to get medicaid and AFDC (now called TANIF) anyway- they do require when you apply for any govt assistance that you work with Child Support because they want to recoup any money the govt is paying to support the child that should be in fact payed by the parent- I guess incarceration changes things or either diffrent states/counites do things differently-but TANIF and medicaid are federal programs-- in our county if someone names you as the father of their child you are required to take a paternity test-at any rate i hope all this works out for everyone