Valentines Day-he takes $20 dollars and I thought I was getting a Valentines gift. I got a dollar card. My ex had my kids for the weekend and I had saved $50 to go out. Our first REAL date! Well we went to the mall, pi**ed around in a store where his sister works, went and had a couple of drinks, and he wanted to go home. But a live band was playing at the bar so he wanted to go back out. I wanted to go but he started being a real a******. He didn't come home and made an excuse he met some friends.

Well, since he's gone, I went through all his stuff. Two boxes were letters from me. I had a box of letters from him. I found two Valentines from some girl and a picture, where he is opening a card, and he is looking at someone and he never looked at me like that. He obviously spent Valentines with her, with my money. I sat in front of my wood stove and had a huge therapy bonfire. I don't want any proof of his existance or that I was such a f****** idiot.

I am giving his clothes to people who I know need clothes.

I called his mom and yesterday, she sat in front of her fireplace and had a big Jason therapy bonfire. He is not allowed in her house again. He stole some stuff from his step-father who died last year, and who did everything he could to help him. His mother is devastated. His sister never wants to hear from him again. She also has this girls plate number because Jason went there all stoned and she was furious.

His daughter is going to be adopted.

And I am getting on the probation website and giving them all the information I can piece together as to where he is at. And I am going to call his PO Monday and tell him I think he is shoplifting again. I found evidence in my car.

He brought my car back and my uncle said the engine is going to blow. So he destroyed my car.

I have a girlfriend in town who has seen him several times. She is going to call the police when she sees him again.

I am taking what is left of his s*** and putting it on this guys porch. His mom and sister don't want it and I sure as hell don't. If I knew where the girl lived I would dump it there.

I am surprised how good I am doing. I was leery about him coming here, I kept putting it off, and then he started staying out two and three days at a time, wouldn't sleep with me, and started saying nasty things to me, like my ex, only worse, and I got to where I dreaded coming home or picking him up from an appointment. I think, subconsciously, I just had to get him out of here. I was in self-preservation mode.

He's gonna wish to God he never met me.

Ouch!!!!!!!!! Sounds like your one pi**ed off lady.. I haven't followed your story but it sounds like you waited for.....nothing!!! ????? I know the feeling to well, I like to be diplamatic here and say don't do anthing you'll be sorry for, cause sounds to me like he's already got one foot back in the joint... Just take care of you, OK??? God speed my friend...

If stolen property is in your car YOU can be arrested for shoplifting. Either get rid of it or something. If it were me I would not call police. Next thing you know they will be hauling you away because they will have it turned around.

The best revenge is to live your life WELL. Let him go, move on and be happy!

It isn't stolen property. He goes in and pretends to be looking for paint cards. Then he walks out and picks something up and has someone take it back, and get the money back or gift cards which he sells. I saw paint cards and books in my car so I know he is doing it again. That's how he got arrested in the first place.

You go girl! It's just too bad that you were there for him while he was doing his time all to get nothing in return. Now its your turn to have fun and go out and find yourself somebody who is worth your while......and deserves you!

It isn't stolen property. He goes in and pretends to be looking for paint cards. Then he walks out and picks something up and has someone take it back, and get the money back or gift cards which he sells. I saw paint cards and books in my car so I know he is doing it again. That's how he got arrested in the first place.
Oh I see. Good thing he is gone and out of your life. Keep it that way.

Luna I feel you I really do.I have had some bitter thoughts in my head about the things I could do to get back at him as like you I gave him my all and he didn't appreciate it nor recipocate it and the anger would feel a lot better then the heartache BUT I realized if I did any of those things I would only feel worse about me.You have to do what you need to do to heal but please don't do anything that will make you feel worse in the long run.We all handle things differently so whatever you do I don't judge you I just wanted to throw my two cents in here with regards about how I feel in my situation

I care about you very much and know what your going through,I'm here.HUGS

The best revenge is to live your life WELL. Let him go, move on and be happy!
As hard as it may be I have to agree with this. Sometimes its best to just let things go. I am one who likes to have the last word, but depending on who your dealing with trying to get the last word can sometimes cause you more troubles.

People like him will do even more damage to get back at you. They dont care how criminal the actions are when they are plotting revenge. The last thing you want is your or your family hurt in any way. Even if its not physically hurting you he could damage your property and hurt you financially....

Luna I feel you I really do.I have had some bitter thoughts in my head about the things I could do to get back at him as like you I gave him my all and he didn't appreciate it nor recipocate it and the anger would feel a lot better then the heartache BUT I realized if I did any of those things I would only feel worse about me.You have to do what you need to do to heal but please don't do anything that will make you feel worse in the long run.We all handle things differently so whatever you do I don't judge you I just wanted to throw my two cents in here with regards about how I feel in my situation

I care about you very much and know what your going through,I'm here.HUGS
Amen. I second this!

He's gonna be in jail. He is weak. There isn't anything he can do to me. My brother found his little black book in the parking lot of the local bar last night and gave it to me today. He said Jason didn't come in. Probably saw my brothers truck and wouldn't come in. My brother looks like a pro wrestler or Popeye. He will just walk away. He runs from any confrontation. And he knows I am crazy as s**t.

I didn't tell you girls, but last month, he made me feel really bad about myself and I took the wood maul to my bedroom. All the rage against my ex and what Jason was doing to me, just exploded. My counselor agreed. I just snapped. Ever since that, I haven't given a rat's a@@. Scared the hell out of Jason. My kids just went, "Mom's a gun"! Jason said, "You were swinging that thing like a man". My one friend said the scary part was-I had no emotion on my face and I would calmly move stuff to the middle of the room so I could take a good swing and cut it in one hit. My counselor said, "If she knew I was still in the same bedroom I had with my ex, she would have told me to get rid of it". Half to now;)

The kids were trying to get me to play Clue and I said, "Yeah, Miss Scarlet, in the bedroom, with an ax".

Really, girls, I feel relieved. My counselor is worried about me crashing, but I just don't feel it. I feel stronger than I have in years. I am just going to get even. Just a little. After what I went through with him? I'm am damn tired of taking it anymore and I'm not going to.

I am glad you are feeling relieved, but please take to heart that your counselor is right and you may crash at some time. Soon. Your body can only take so much adrenaline, and then it puts the brakes on. I am sooo glad you have made the decision you are tired of taking it, and you're not going to anymore. Good for you. That is one of the first things you must do before you can be on the real road to recovery! At this point you need to take care of yourself and your kids. Sounds like the kids are going to back you 100%! I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Good luck!!!

hugs to you Luna.
**********}}}}}
Raina

If you really want to know how a woman feels - hurt her or get her drunk!! I definitely feel your pain. You are spending way too much time and energy on someone who clearly doesn't deserve it. While it's easier said than done - because you're hurt - my advice would be to just leave him and the situation alone. I went through something similar with my ex - hell bent on revenge. I didn't have to do a thing, he messed up all on his own and I was rid of him.

I hope things get better for you.

Luna~I agree with the others that it's probably not in your best interest to waste so much energy on this guy at this point. I know that when my ex and I split I really wanted to do good things with my life so he could see I am just fine without him. Funny thing is once I had accomplished the goals I set it was for ME and I couldn't give a rat's behind what he thought about it or if he even knew. The pain will fade in time honey. You and your kids will move on to bigger and better things.

Wishing you and yours happier times,
Patty

WOW! WEll all I can say is that I'm proud of you sticking up for youself and being honset with yourself.Just breathe girl the vengence is the Lord's..Take care and have a blessed day!

I am sorry you had to go through this :( No one deserves to have to be treated like that no matter the circumstances. Youre in my prayers, and I hope you continue to grow stronger everyday.

I can understand your anger, but I do not think this is the best way for you to deal with this. I have been this angry before, at an ex- but I did nothing to get him back, even if I wished I could, and my anger faded, just like he did, faded into the past and I moved on with my life. It is much healthier for you to focus on you and healing and doing something positive for you, rather then revenge and focusing negative energy into a man who is not even worth it.

Luna I have followed your post for along time. Girl i'm so sorry that all of this happening to you.. I totally know what it is like a vindictive B****. I did it to my girls father and in the end it really did not matter. I really hope that you get pass this. I know that you will feel much better when he is locked back up. It will not take long now he is following his partern and they will catch up with him. But really enough about him. I hope that you keep going for help for yourself and you kids. He played a number on you and it takes time to time to heal. I know it feels good to let it all out and keep on doing that here. I know that I could bash my ex (Louis) but it would not look good in here. So if you ever want to really bash Pm me......

Really girls, I am fine. I operate at my most optimal emotional, intellectual and physical self when I am here. I consider myself way to intelligent to indulge in little playing games sorta deals. I don't do it. I am just getting even. A little. I am entitled. It's nothing drastric. A little emotional stab here and there and I will never hear or see from him again. He'll walk away. It is less than I thought I would feel. I am just more pi**ed at myself than anyone else.

I have crossed over to the other side. I funnel the hurt and pain and anger into positive reinforcement and motivation. And the longer I can maintain, the better I start to feel about myself. I needed a good swift kick in the a**. I just wanted every bit of him out of here, so there are no reminders and I can heal. I did the same with my ex. I am spring cleaning and in his case, spring came early:)

I am starting my life over. I am scheduled to start a program for bariatric surgery, sleep apnea clinic, and a pre college class for homemakers, etc. to get back into school. One kid needs hip surgery and the other one needs orthodonics. I am getting things done and I am excited. I am going to rebuild my life. I feel sorry for him. He has no one now but a bunch of fair weather friends.

I have known for a while, since ex exited, that I am one of those women who is a natural born survivor and I am better off alone. I like being alone. My emotions are to skewed to think about even trying anyone else on for size. My brother is still single at 43 and I think he had the right idea. We are a lot alike.

And I haven't met the man yet that can handle me;) The hunt is on :hee: :dance:

Really girls, I am fine. - I am just getting even. A little. I am entitled. It's nothing drastric.

stages:

shock/denial/numbness
fear/anger/depression
understanding/acceptance/moving on



Luna, I do not know you all that well, but I will say, I have been there, so have many women here I am SURE!....we speak from another perspective that you are not seeing right now. To me it sounds like you are not allowing yourself time to grieve or feel pain, you are going right to the "I am over it" stage and stuck maybe in the "I am going to get even with him" stage. None of this is really positive for you, for you to say you are "ok" is not being honest with yourself, being this just happened and the anger you are feeling.

I am not telling you what to do, or that I am an expert, but since you mentioned it, I had to say what my experiences have been when I went through a bad break up.

The things you mentioned doing to get "even" with him does not sound like healing action, not to me at least. I guess you have to do what you have to do for yourself, but it might end up hurting you even more to stay stuck where you are and acting these things out. It only keeps you stuck with him, and in the chaos by trying to get even with him. It feels right but only for now, because you are hurt. You are entitled to be hurt, and angry and all that! But playing games? why put yourself through that drama? stick to those ideas to make your life better and putting you first, but give yourself time to get over him, feel pain and grieve....
take your time and be easy :) only my two cents, you don't have to listen...

about the stages of grief
http://www.helpguide.org/mental/grief_loss.htm
or loss of a relationship
http://mentalhelp.net/psyhelp/chap6/chap6l.htm

just some things to read, anyways, I do not know if you need to or want to read that, just thought i would share :)

Mrs. G

Thank you for your concern and I appreciate your advice. Your very sweet to care. Thank You. I am really feeling no pain or grief. I am very aware of what is going on with my psyche, I have been dealing with it for four years. I know the signs. I knew somewhere inside it was over or never started. I never gave that piece of myself that keeps me alive, to survive, to overcome; a positive strength that I haven't tapped into in a long time. I've known in the last few weeks that things were coming back to me.

And I totally believe that God has my back, I always have. I have an immense and unshakeable faith. I always trust that things happen for a reason and this was meant to happen because he was no good for me. When you start to dread coming home, your mind and soul are telling you something. The longer he was here the less I liked him.

Since he left I haven't needed my nerve pills.

I am seeing the positive aspects of myself and it is great. I am focusing on me and not him. It feels great.

I know God is smiling and I always felt I had a mission in life, since I was young, and I feel I am headed there. I trust God to lead the way. He has kept me this far.

I am sitting here doing my own "therapy" and listening to:

"Hell, Yeah" by Montgomery Gentry
"I am Woman" by Helen Reddy
"I Will Survive" by Gloria Gaynor
"Redneck Woman"
"My Way" by Elvis
"I Am, I Said" by Neil Diamond

I am making venison chili, baking bread, and dancing around with a black cowboy hat on. He didn't get and I'm not going to let him have it.

Hey Luna,
All I can say is be careful---from reading your words the manic phase has hit. Please dont cuss me out but I want you to know what I see. I am not a therapist but I have worked in it enough to see the signs.

Please take care and be careful.

ONE

I know I am in a manic phase. Sheer relief. I couldn't take the emotional strain anymore. I can't explain how I feel, but I know there is no pain or grief. I just didn't care anymore and all I wanted was him out of here. I have so much personal support right now, all my friends keeping an eye on me, and they can tell by the tone of my voice. I just got off the phone with one friend and she thinks I sound great. She knows the signs and she thinks I am doing fine.

I just didn't care anymore. It isn't bothering me in a downside way. My brain told me that you cannot let another man treat you like your husband did and I won't allow it. He screwed up and my opportunity came. This isn't revenge revenge. I just feel like being a b***h with what I have, which is little. This is nothing to me. Just a little, stick it to him, fun. I'm not calling or mailing or doing stupid stuff, just taking his personal stuff and dumping it on this guys porch. 2 boxes. Trying to get him arrested? I would actually be doing him a favor, he might live and the sooner they get him the less time he gets.

Give me a week and we'll see. Put bets on if I crash and how long it takes;)