My boyfriend was released from prison 1 month ago. He left me for another girl and moved in with her right away. This Tuesday he told me that he loved me, that I was his future, apologized and said that he wanted to move in with me and put the past behind. He said that he was going to tell the other girl Thursday night, and move his things out Friday (today). Wednesday night, he came over for a little while and said he had to leave to go back home (the condo he's living in with the other girl). We only had 2 days to go until he was going to move in with me, and I completely lost it. I flew off the handle about how hurt I was, and how I was tired of dealing with this. I was yelling at him. He tried to leave, and I grabbed his arm. I was so angry. He yelled, "let me go." I said, "No, how can you leave after everything I've sacrificed for you blah, blah, blah. He ran of my apartment. I chased him down the hallway. I mean I was completely out of control. He called the other girl to pick him up. I grabbed his cell phone. He ran out of the building.

Today, while I was at work he used a spare key to my apartment to pick up his cell phone. I got home, and he had taken mostl of his things that he had been keeping here since before he went to prison. He called me, and said that I scared him, and he can't risk going back to prison due to crazy domestic disputes, and that he would not be moving in me. He said that his freedom meant everything to him, and that it overrides any love that he feels for me.

You guys, I completely agree with him. It's just that I lost control in that moment, and I learned my lesson. He said that the other girl is mellow and they never argue. Now I have pushed him back into the arms of the other girl. He is re-kindling his relationship with her as we speak. I am so so so upset with myself for blowing it. I love him with all of my heart, and I would never intentionally put him at risk. I can't stop crying, and I know that nothing I say or do will bring him back. He is firm with his decision. Now, I am all alone, in my empty apartment, and I can't stop crying. Even if our relationship is restored, it will take a long, long time for him to trust my emotions. I have already waited so long, and we were so close. Today was supposed to be the big day. How could I have been so careless?

Sorry all this is happening. I do not think this man knows what he wants though. Why is he running back to her? He could go someplace else. You had reason to be angry, although maybe it came out in appropriately. It bothers me that this is now turned around on YOU. HE is the one who left you and then expects you to just take him back on the drop of a hat! HE is the one who lied to you. I don't think you have anything to feel badly about: you yelled and grabbed his arm, ok. But maybe he deserved it. If you didn't hit him then why can't he be a man and accept the fact he did you wrong? This bothers me. Men tend to turn around their wrong-doings onto us. Do not fall for it.:twocents:

Maybe you two are not meant to be together. If it is meant to be nothing can stop it and if it isn't nothing can make it so. Pray for God to show you the way to go with this and your life. You need a man who KNOWS he wants YOU.

Good luck.

Honey I have no words of wisdom as my guy has now left me as well and I am right where you are at alone,feeling that loss etc.
Yes maybe you did overreact but honestly how could you not feel the pain and anger when he left you right after coming home? I'm not saying you were in the right to react like that but I think a lot od fus say or do things we later regret in the heat of the moment.I feel pain and anger as well as haertache.I didn't touch him in any way but I did say some horrible,mean,nasty things that I probably shouldn't have.
Hang in there honey,I wish I had some good words of advice or comfort for you.Just know you can come here to PTO whenever you need to to talk about this,there are great people here who will listen and offer advice and support

i think hes the one who is confused. he leaves you then wants you back .but now wants not to be with you. i would of yelled at him also.( i never date guys from 408 anymore ) inside joke.i think he made up his mind when he moved in with her.dont beg this guy to come back.find someone who only wants to be with you.i wish you the best.

Oh no. I posted twice on accident. I kept getting an error message.

California Sunshine, I read your last 2 posts at work today, and I have been crying for you all day (I'm not just saying that!) Love can be so painful. Thank you for encouraging me while you are going through so much yourself. Thank you all for helping me.

It's NOT your fault, first of all!!! Yes, you lost control, but let's think together shall we?
He LEFT you for another girl!!!!! Doesn't that tell you enough??? You want him back after all this??? Respect yourself, chin up and move on!!!
You're much better off without him and now open to the possibility of finding a REAL man who truly deserves you!
Good luck!

granny to the rescue! I removed the duplicate thread ;)

Oh thank you granny!! I needed you!

Regardless of how you overreacted...he made his choice when he came home and left you....why did he have to wait to move back in with you? Why did he call her to pick him up? I think you acted the way you did because he spent all day Wednesday with you...just to leave you and go be with someone else -- give me a break -- you are worth so much more than that....take care as best you can -- watch your heart...but use your mind...everything will become clear

Stay Blessed

Carla

you ended, "how could I have been so careless?"

CARELESS??? Personally, I think you were restrained!! Out of control?? I think NOT!! It sounds as though he's had you in turmoil for along time and you just couldn't take anymore of it - and you shouldn't!!

About the time he said he could not risk any domestic disputes, I would've said then don't start them! He's the one running around between two ladies - does he not think that creates a domestic dispute every damned time??

Wow, I hope for your own sake that you've had enough of this! If not, please take care of yourself 'cuz I gotta feeling he isn't going to. Good luck!!

Welcome to PTO :)

You did something wrong? He is right? You agree with him? You blew it? Careless?
You did nothing wrong, he is wrong, and you were not careless and did not blow anything, HE DID!

I also hope that this is the end of this relationship for you. I have been down this road in my past-Heartbroken with no self esteem left to my name, but the fact is, I was not really alone, and my heart healed.

Take care of you, you are all you have! Maybe you can get to a support group in your area, they are a huge help...

(((((((((((hugs)))))))))) WHEN he goes back to prison he will be begging you to come back this kind of behavior is not someone who is all the way together. I would thank my lucky stars that he did you this favor. I know it hurts, and I am so sorry that you have to go through this, but find a way to move on, and the best way to get even is to be happy. He is the one who will regret losing someone like you.

please dont sit here and blame yourself!!! you did nothing wrong, he hurt you!! you were by his side when he was locked down. then he turns around and LEAVES you for someone else as soon as he got out?? i wouldv'e reacted the same way. he just used that as an excuse to leave again!!. he seems like he likes to play alot of childish games. and you dont need that. dont beg him to come back!! find someone who will love and appreciate you. dont put up with that, your only setting yourself up to keep getting hurt!! take care of yourself. keep your head up.

I understand you were very emotional and in retrospect wish you would have dealt with it differently. When you know better you do better. Perhaps you might want to seek out the help of a support group or counselor to deal with your issues. Please don't think I'm being hard on you because I really am not but I have been where you are and said or done things I regret. We all are a work in progress and there is no shame in trying to correct the things that bother us.

As for this man of yours I really believe that If he was solid about what he wanted then that situation would never have seen the light of day. He might want to strengthen his coping skills because things are not so simple as "picking the girl with the calmer disposition".

I hope I've not offended you and if you ever want to chat I'm only a PM away...

Hugggz,
Patty

It's his loss. Men only do what women let them do. Just think if he went back to her so quick obviously they were never over with and that's good that you found out sooner than later. You didn't need him running in and out of your life anyway, now that would of been painful. You would of ended up hurting him or her and could of put yourself in a messed up situation. You were not careless that's how you felt and he deserved to hear it just like it came out. Don't blame yourself, he's just confused right now and just be glad that you don't have to go through the heartache that he will end up putting her through especially if he still loves you.

Girl...you had a right to be mad! So you got a little crazy...I would've too! You don't need his drama. Even if you love him...why put yourself through this. What was he thinking moving in with another broad anyways??? He asked for you to scare him...you go girl! Sorry if I'm not telling you what you want to hear...but eewh...my old man would be hella scared to if he pulled some crap like that! Hope it all works out for the best. I wish you luck...Love, Diane.