and left it sitting at the post office. When my kids came home from school they saw it and the older one drove it home. I was at counceling. The woman at the post office described Jason and said he left it and got into another car and left. I got all my papers back. I knew I would get it back. I knew he was still around. His mother thinks I'm crazy(technically, yes;)) but I can feel him. She thought he had fled state and I kept telling her he was still here. She told me he really does care about you. He has never done that for anyone else before. Some friend of his called here and wanted to talk to him. Jason must have been sitting right there because this guy doesn't know me from Adam and my phone number isn't listed.

I talked to his counselor last night for about an hour. He called here for Jason and I told him what was going on. The thing that really sucks is that he was getting Jason into a program with a new drug for heroin addicts. This doctor can only take 30 people at a time. He ended up counseling me and giving me advice. He said I am way co-dependant. I told him I always pick men that I have more cajones then they do;) And men with mother problems.
I said from now on I am going to hit it and quit it. I am to old and beat for all this emotional bulls$$t.

Actually, so far, I am okay. My counselor thinks I am on a manic high and the crash is coming. I am pretty aware of what is going on with myself so I am watching out for it. She gave me a list of emergency numbers to call. She thinks I am going to end up in the hospital.

Jason left this for me to find. I sent it to him 2 years ago. He dug through all my letters until he found it.....

"He was the richest man I ever knew
He didn't have a dime.

He didn't know what he didn't have
So, he didn't care that he didn't have it
They didn't know he didn't know
So, they didn't care that he didn't care.

They thought he was poor
Cause he lived in a tent in the woods
He thought they were poor
Because they didn't."

He's trying to tell me a couple of things here.

I'm not mad or upset. I still love his squirrely little a**. I don't know. He was telling everyone else he loved me, but he couldn't show me and I didn't trust it or believe it.

This is a tough situation. Him leaving the car shows he does care about you and he didn't want you to be carless. In the midst of his madness he still wanted to try and do the right thing. That's what makes it so hard so stop loving him. I've been through some of this stuff myself and I know how you feel. It is so important though to try and focus as much on yourself and as little on what he's doing as possible. It is so emotionally draining and everything. I hope everything works out ok for you.

Luna~I too had a feeling your car would see the light of day. Please put me on that list of emergency or even non emergency numbers. I am here for you if you feel like crashing do not hesitate to wake me up from a dead sleep I'll promise to listen.

Love ya,
Patty

Luna,
I am glad you got the car back. I hope you and the kids are doing well. If you feel the mania coming PM ---I am always here. Keep taking your meds and get plenty of rest.

So is Jason officially on the run?

I really hate how all of this ended but everything happens for a reason and you dont forget that.

ONE

Luna I am glad you got your car back
Hang in there honey I know this is not easy! I'm here if you want to talk

Luna I'm so sorry with all that he is putting you though!!! I'm glad that he left your car for you to find, cause that is something that they usally don't do think about others. I hope that he does the right thing and turn himself in so he can get the help that he needs. As for you I hope that you start to relax and take care of yourself!! I'm all so Codependant. I'm reading the book CoDependant No More. It is helping me out alot. Try to read it when you feel like it!!!

Luna - at least he showed respect by returning your car. You seem to be stable in your posts right now. You are very strong. Please keep us updated on how you are feeling, ok?

"love has strange ways..."

His counselor told me to forget about him and to go get that book, "Co-dependant No More". I am going to have to get it.