I give up. He came home Monday afternoon. I told him about what had happened. He called his mom and sister and raised hell with them. He is furious with me.

He is convinced he is going back to jail. I don't think so. He has been doing so good. He wasn't doing heroin. It was the pain meds they have him on for his foot and leg. He wasn't even drinking. His sister and mom just went overboard and I bought into it(why he has told me a million times to stay away from them and not talk to them).

I could tell he hadn't done anything. I know how he looks. I called and left a message with his PO asking him to please consider all he has accomplished and all he is getting done and maybe giving him another chance.

Well, I think the a**hole absconded. He went and sold a whole bunch of stuff last night and he hasn't come home yet. I don't know where my car is. I expect a phone call from someone telling me where my car is. The PO said if he wasn't there this morning they are going to issue a warrent for his arrest.

I've been here before with him and I saw the signs, but didn't realize it until I woke out of a dead sleep at 2. I knew it then. I just know.

Que sera sera. I don't even feel bad.

Well I know how you feel...trust me I have been there time and time again. I dont want to put negitive thoughts in your head but do you honestly believe that he was out taking foot medicine all night? I know atleast personally my husband confessed that everything he ever told me that his family was lying to me about was true. I knew it its just that when we love someone its hard to admit to ourselves they have a problem. My husband was addicted to crack-cocaine when I met him and it took me about a year before I ever figured it out and I did cause hes dealer snitched him out to me. Go figure. Also if he had not been doing drugs than why not just go to the PO office and be drug tested. If he was clean they wouldnt take him in. So he must be scared for a reason. I hope all turns out well for you. You are probably doing him a favor. Good Luck! :(

I also know the pain of the disappointment and it is such a huge hurt and let down...time does make it go away...

I could have written this post! I went through this with a friend and honestly, it sucked the life right out of me, so I can't imagine it being someone I was involved with (I'm just guessing you are, I don't know that for sure). In my situation, I was used, lied to, cheated, stolen from, and generally treated like a nobody by someone I dearly loved and was trying to help. I had never been that close to someone with a drug problem, and it took me awhile to realize how destructive the pattern of behavior is. He didn't care about anyone or anything more than he cared about his next hit.

I went on a long trip, by myself, and took a long hard look at everything. When I came back I decided to let him deal with things himself for a while. He did, although it nearly killed him in the process (literally). He now since moved away and is doing okay, but it hurts not to be a part of each other's lives. I wish I could be there for him, and count on him when I need him, but I can't. With me in his life, he seems to have a reason to mess up because he knows I care about him, and I won't let him fall THAT far.

I should have stepped back and let him deal with the fallout of his actions long before I did. I learned the hard way that he couldn't pick himself up if I never let him fall. I'm not saying you need to do that, since I don't know your situation, but just know that someone else has been there before (probably alot of us, really), and I feel your pain. He will see one day how you have been there and tried to help him, but understand that it might be awhile. Some people can't hit bottom because they are too stubborn to know they are already there.

Take care of yourself and be true to yourself. We're behind you.

I am so proud of you for doing what you need to do. I wish I would have done the same thing...it might have saved my husband's life had I done so. I was always getting my husband out of the trouble he made for himself and it just made everything worse. I was the classic enabler. I still regret not doing things differently all those years ago. Best wishes.
Raina

Luna,
HOw are things this afternoon? You are in my prayers. Stay strong and take care.

ONE

Thank you all so much for being here for me. I love you and appreciate everything you say, good or bad. I need it all.

nomatterwhat--damn we are sisters!!!!

Many of you know about the abuse that I went through with my ex. He started saying the same things to me. I got to where I didn't even want him here. He was destroying 4 years of putting myself back together. (Never ever again!!!!) My kids didn't like how he was treating me. We, right now I think feeling relieved. We will feel better when he is arrested. Not that he is at all violent, I just don't want to deal with him or drama. Find him somewhere and put him away. I talked to his mom for two hours and his sister about 4 times today and my best friend called me and talked to me for an hour.

I am actually feeling pretty good. No tears. I am beyond that(sympathy, apathy), basically done and over it.

But he took my car and we have no idea where it is. His mom said he will drive it until he runs out of money or gas and leave it sit. The state police said it is not technically stolen, because he lived here at this address and I didn't stop him. They are going to talk to his sister because she is the one who saw him when he was doing heroin. He said he was going to tell some friends goodbye and never came back. That was last night. I took my brothers truck and went looking for it to see if he left it sit anywhere but I couldn't find it. My brother left me his Bronco so I have a vehicle in case of an emergency with one of the kids. I have several friends looking to hurt him.

I told the state cop everything and he called Jasons PO. Jason's PO is coming here in the morning to talk to me. They are going to issue an arrest warrent tomorrow and my car is on every computer, in every cop car in the state, that if they see it, they are to stop it because the guy driving it is wanted.

I think he went to Philidelphia. I expect to get a call that they have my car in impound. My brother told me that if that is the case and it is to far away or cost to much to tell them to keep it. It isn't worth the money to go get it. I already have a line on three. I just hope he doesn't get into an accident.

When God hands you a lesson he does it big. I guess I should listen better.

He came into the kitchen, kissed me, hugged me, told me he loved me and left.

His mom and sister haved wiped their hands of him. So have I. They are so mad. He was doing so good. And his mom told me that I was absolutely the best thing that ever happened to him and she is done. He hurt me and my kids and all we did was love him. He lied, and stole and cheated and went back to the heroin. We weren't enough. I explained to the kids that he has a diease and only he can do it and it wasn't our fault.

My record still stands-I still haven't gotten any. Going on 16 years. Does it grow back? All's well, my doctor is impressed with my health, I have lost more weight, summers coming and the hunt is on :D

Your world will get better if you just believe in yourself. Pick yourself up dust yourself off and LIVE!!!!

Thinking of you,
Patty