I have put a few postings/threads in regarding my experience in hopes to help someone else in the same or similar situation. I have been out of a relationship with Billy (abuser) since July of 2004. That is when I called the police to have him removed from my home because he had been hitting me and not letting me out of the apartment when I wanted to. He was on parole, so he only got a violation and was sent back to prison for 6 months. He was released in January, and stupid me, I was accepting phone calls from him even though I had a restraining order. I always forget that I am not dealing with a rational person when I am dealing with Billy. Saturday night, February the 19th, there was a knock at my door. I always wait in silence to hear who is at the door because I am in fear that it will be Billy. The person said my name. I thought it was my boyfriend, it sounded just like him. I opened the door and it was Billy. He forced himself into my home and held me captive there until Sunday morning till about 11am. I could not use the phones, I tried several times to get the phone away from him, but it resulted in me being thrown on the floor or forced to stay in the bedroom. I tried to scream several times, but he would grab me from behind and throw me on the floor and cover my mouth until I stopped screaming, I couldn't breath because I was crying so hard and my mouth was covered. I thought I would sufffocate or pass out. He said if anyone came to the door and I screamed, he would restrain me and we would go for a ride to my parents' house and he would kill them. He walked around my apartment with one of my kitchen knives in his back pocket in case the cops came, because if they did, he would "go off". I went through hell the whole night and by morning he was different...I figure he must have been high on meth that night. He let me go that morning. I am lucky. It could have been much worse. As of now he may be facing life in prison if they give him a third strike for this. Ladies, be careful....I know there are a lot of you out there that struggle with trying to leave or even trying to not call the abuser or see him after you already left the relationship. I am living proof that he will only get worse. Take care!

Christen -

Thank you so much for sharing that painful experience with everyone. I am so glad you made it out safely and he can't hurt you anymore.

Christen, thank you for that post. I KNOW what you have been through. I have been through a similar situation with my husband. I filed a protection order on Dec 8, 2004, and he violated it right away. Myself and my daughter had been through such hell with this man. He was on parole too, only out for 8 months, and he began his power and control only days after being released. It was verbal, psychological, and emotional abuse at first, then it began to escalate to physical violence, and also being held captive for hours at a time, then for days at a time. He was on parole for killing his fiance who had filed several orders of protection on him, to no avail. He threw her off a 4th floor balcony to her death. I only found this out after I filed my Order of Protection, because he had lied to me about his crime, and there was no way I could find out. He is a true sociopath. He threatened to kill me on a number of occasions and also abused and tried to kill his first wife, after he got out the first time from prison from killing his fiance. I didn't know this either until I filed the Order. He only got 5 months for the violations, but Virginia has a warrant for a detainer to extradite him when he finishes his time here in NC. I'm scared to death he may somehow escape, or not get too much time back in Virginia, although I have written letters and had his family write letters. Everyone is on my side, even his family. He is being made to take the consequences. I just wish they didn't put him in a minimum security prison. That's too good for him. He needs to be locked up and the key thrown away so he never hurts another woman again. Christen, I think that we who are survivors speak out like this, it may help another woman get out of their abusive relationship. I thank God I did, for myself, for my daughter, for the woman he killed, for the first wife that he abused and tortured, and for any woman he may try to abuse in the future. I thank God I got out with my life. Many Blessings,

Marsha

OMG Christen, I haven't been at PTO for awhile, this is horrible! I feel you and I know what you went through. I am so glad that you are ok, wow. That just goes to show what can happen; and yes I know what you mean about accepting their phone calls after you leave them and all of that. It is so hard to get out and stay out of the relationship. Marsha, I hope they lock him up and throw away the key. Stay safe ladies!

I also know what it's like to be in fear of your life by a boyfriend being so high and drunk you could see it in his eyes. I broke up with my boyfriend on Thursday, July 8 2004; he broke in my son's window with a crowbar and beat me, dragged me, broke everything in our bedroom and left before the police got there. Friday, moved all of his belongings out of my house while the sheriff's were there, Saturday I never heard anything, Sunday started getting threats on the telephone from him again, he broke into my house again high and drunk and started beating me again, dragging me outside where the neighbors witnessed everything. My son's friend and daughter was at home and left, they and the neighbor called the police, 4 sheriff cars pulled up and they pulled their guns on David and they arrested him. He got 10 years for burglary, retaliation, assault with serious bodily injury. I had to have brain surgery and had to learn to walk again, learn to pronounce some words again. Then in June 20, 2005 he called me from county jail at work threaten to kill me and my kids telling me he had our social security numbers and my driver license numbers so we could never get away from him. Yeah I know fear! I also know anger. I have been on short term medical leave from my job because of this man because I am suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder Syndrome. Can you imagine that? My point is; as long as we leave and we stay away and get stronger every day we become a survivor we become more like an eagle than a chicken like God meant us to be and that’s what is important. We are God like lets not fall to their level, we are better than our abusers. J

God is with you, for sure! :grouphug:

I am so sorry that this happened to you, I cannot even fathom, not for one moment, that violation you had suffered. thankfully, your neighbor's children called the police. it looks like they saved your life! please continue to share your story and spread the word that this is where a violent or angry relationship may lead, heed the warnings, listen to your intuition!

I understand completely what you have to live with day to day. I have been very disappointed with the "system" lately. Apparently, no one in the "system" will tell me if or when my abuser will be released. Prosecutor's office is not obligated to notify me. The prison system will not tell me because of his rights to privacy. This is a person who came very close to succeeding in murdering his family and upon release will probably look for us. And yet, no one will tell me if that has happened yet or will in the near future. Can anyone tell me how I can discretely find out where an inmate is?

If it's a federal prisoner you want to locate, it's simple! Simply go to www.bop.gov (http://www.bop.gov) Click on "Inmate Locater" then click on "locate a Federal inmate incarcerated from 1982 to present." Plug in his name and up he'll pop if he's in any federal institute in the country.

I know nothing about states but I would think there'd be something like that for them, too!

I pray you find him before he finds you! Good luck and God Bless you!

go to DOC web site if it is states. look for inmate locater and type in his name, it should give you enough information. Hope this helps also

go to DOC web site if it is states. look for inmate locater and type in his name, it should give you enough information. Hope this helps also

Tried the site and it's another dead end. No information available for the state he's incarcerated in. But thank you for the info, I wasn't aware that this site existed.

Any other possible ideas?

WOW... I read all about the victims of DV, and my mouth dropped.

I imagined the trauma and actually envisioned the abuse happening while I read. It was like watching a horror movie in my mind.

I have had experience with DV myself, but nothing as horrible as what was described. My ex was sent to jail (by me) on about the 7th time he used his power against me. He never punched me in the face, but he sure used his body to either keep me against my will, or hurt me. He punched my back, stuck a key in my neck, held my neck and strangled me for a short time, tried to break my arm with his bare hands, pushed me off the couch, and finally (just feet away from our 6 month old child on the floor) pushed his whole body weight into my neck and cause it to crack, pop, and hurt a lot, pushed me back on a recliner and ripped the phone out of my hands, and lots more. I still have neck pains because of the incident. It happened in January of 2005, and yes we got back together and I helped get him a good deal with the state attorney's office.

We are no longer together, but remain friendly for our 1 year old daughter. He is bipolar and refuses treatment. On probation he changed from violent power and control abuser to non violent, and even non angry.

Once off probation he resumed drugs and has since become unstable. I still love him, although I know we cannot be together. I cant reason with crazy.

Good luck to us all... and remember, YOU ARE BETTER THAN THAT

Jenny

Jenny -

Thank you so much for sharing that. It just saddens me that not only do some people have to go through the horrible ordeals of domestic violence, but that the perpetrators of it don't seem to care if there are children nearby.

Oh, and welcome to PTO :)

Thank you for posting that. I've tried to leave my man numerous times. I would sneak out of the house when he left to go to his friends and elave. But then I'd answer the phone because I missed him a couple days after. He'd say he was sorry and all this and that and I'd come crawling back to him. One time he knew I was leaving and I told him I needed to think and that I'd be back. He threw me in the bathroom and locked me in there. he broke this shelf in the bathroom and I was terrified. When he passed out I left. but still came back. I posted a thread in the main DV part about my whole situation. I want to believe that he is changed as he has found God but I'm still scared. But thank you very much. All your stories sound familiar and I'm glad you had the strength to get out. I pray that I do also. Thank you