I know Love can not be controlled. It appears when least likely. How do you allow it to grow when you know you are on a timeclock. Although there is no date, it still stays on my mind. He's in Texas:angry: Dont matter, I'll be here through it all. Just want strength to do so.

:thumbsup: Dear Don't Matter - I cannot even imagine what you are going through- although my Husband was in for a very long time- I knew one day he would be home. I applaud you for allowing yourself to love your man - You should be so proud of yourself- I think you are very courageous. Try to keep your chin up - you never know what can happen. Your love is like a diamond - it starts as a little lump of coal, and through years of pressure it turns in to something that is beautiful, strong and everlasting. You'll both be in my prayers !!! :thumbsup:

I know Love can not be controlled. It appears when least likely. How do you allow it to grow when you know you are on a timeclock. Although there is no date, it still stays on my mind. He's in Texas:angry: Dont matter, I'll be here through it all. Just want strength to do so.

Dontmatter, enjoy what you have. There is no guarantees in life, if the person is in prison, or outside of prison. I have a loved one on Texas death row as well, and I just appreciate what we have, and I appreciate having him in my life. Dont think about the timeclock. Just enjoy the moment. If you ever want to talk, we are here to listen. :)

I was just browsing, and I came along this thread, and after reading the other posts, it made me cry. I just want you to know that I think you are an amazing person. You have come to love this person, and like we all know, we can't help love. Just don't see it like you are living your life on a time clock. Enjoy the time with him, laugh with him, tell him just exactly how you feel about him. I will keep the both of you in my prayers. I have always loved this quote......I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge,
That myth is more potent than history.
I believe that dreams are more powerful than facts
That hope always triumphs over experience
That laughter is the only cure for grief
And I believe that love is stronger than death.
We are all always here for you.
-Kara

Dear Dontmatter, We cannot control when - or how - or even if we love someone. As Kim Carnes said in her song, 'Love comes from the most unexpected places'. No one is ever going to pretend that this will be easy for you but you will have some wonderful times - share laughter, love and joy and that precious gift that not everyone has: the gift of love. You will sustain him through whatever lies ahead.

My dear penfriend, Dennis Bagwell, was killed by the State of Texas on February 17th and he told us all how much our love, letters,visits, phone calls helped him and brought him joy in a desperate place. I don't regret one minute of the 2 and a half years I was able to do my little bit for a guy I grew to love as a dear friend. I am quite certain you won't either - and I pray that he will be around for many years to come and you will share many many happy memories of each other's love.

God bless you

The only thing we can do is take it day by day. Is your guy at Polunsky??? Polunsky is one of the darkest places. and just by being there for him is a blessing itself. You have to draw from eachother and there is great support here.

STRENGTH--I have started and finished a post on here 3 times now. I end up deleting it, because I read it and it doesn't sound right. So, here goes---Strength comes from all sorts of places! It certainly comes from within ones self, but it also comes from the network of friends you will find that are in the same situation. My Husband and I find alot of strength in one another. We are at the end of his appeals, and some days strength is the only darn thing that keeps us going, that and the love for one another we have. My husband and I speak on the phone daily, we are afforded that luxury by the state of ohio, that helps tremendously to say the least. I am not a relegious person, I am a spirtiual person, prayer is a wonderful tool in all of this madness. If you ever need to talk I have my Messenger name on my profile, since the PM's aren't working. I found a wonderful friend right here in this forum when I thought I was going to lose my mind. I honestly don't know what I would do without her sometime. Look around you, and I will bet ya, you will find strength in things you never knew were there! One last thing! Take 10 minutes for just YOU everyday!
Thoughts N Prayers!
Tracy Spirko

Dontmatter, first let me welcome you to the PTO family. You will find allot of Love and Support here and the days you don't have the strength we are here for you.

I lost my loved one to an execution several years ago. Some days you don't have the strength, some days you feel you can't keep going. Before Tracy got a date we just enjoyed the time we had together. We built memories, we built our love and caring for each other. We never let the future and what might happen steal away what we had today.
I wish I could tell you that it will be allright, but it will hurt like H***, but your Love and caring will carry you through.
Don't dwell on what might be, you will be looking so far in to the future you will lose what you have today. No one is guaranteed tomorrow, but we do have today to share, love and experience each other.

As John Muffins has said take time for you each day. If there are days you just think you can't go on, come here we are always here for you. I remember days thinking I just can't do this and I didn't for that day. Then I regrouped and went on after that day.
Don't think of what might be or is going to be, think of what is now. If you ever need an ear you can always PM me.

Hugss
softie

Dear Dontmatter,

The thing with love is it is like a wave; it will carry you along and gather strength as it does.
Inevitably it will reach the shore and then you have to hope that you land softly on the beach and not get dashed against the rocks.
Either way you ride the wave.

Live in the now, but not in the "here".
Love despite tomorrow.
Don't be afraid.

Ignore the ticking of the clock, and listen to the breath of your soul and the beat of your heart; because they keep true time.

Rachel xx

I have been crying since Thursday but Rachel, Softy, Ann, you just wiped my tears -- you are strong, gentle women -- I aspire to be like you and Rach and Ann -- you know I love you dearly. Don't matter -- on this board you will find people who will lift you up like no others will, people who will understand you like no others. Just remember like they said -- take time each day to take a little time for yourself and never let God out of your life. We will pray for both of you. God Bless you all!

Thanks so much. I know what it is to be on a roller coaster with him. Time is our most valuable possession. Yes we have a great bond. Polunsky tries to take everything away. But his heart and mind are steady. His strength sustains mine. I enjoy all that we share. Once again thanks, Keep us in your prayers.

dontmatter, im new on here but your story sounds oh so familiar. my husband is on death row for a crime we both know he didnt commit he has been there for 12 years in atmore alabama and he wont even talk about execution.he says its not gonna go that far but its been 12 years and he's still there even though i try to remain optimistic.i luv him, everytime i think of it my stomach just ties up in knots. i dont know how to get rid of this pain deep in me that fears tomorrow.i know we should live for today but there is always that feeling of knowing tomorrow might come and you dont know what it holds right now i havent heard from him in a week tomorrow will be 8 days.he wrote me many letters but no phone calls.he does this alot when he is depressed and doesnt want me to know but he doesnt understand i know anyways..keep u'r head up and pray god give me strength . i really need it .