LucidDream
02-24-2003, 12:42 PM
After reading lulus, lucrisid, and menollys stories I felt that I woulds share some of mine.
Although, the father of my children didn't physically abuse me, the emotional abuse he put me through was hell. My hands are shaking right now..so this is hard for me to type.
If this will help someone than there is a reason for telling what happened in my situation.
Jamie, who was the father of my children, was an alcholic and drug abuser. He was always telling me how no man would want me because I had his kids. Foolishly I believed him for quite some time. He was always putting me down, calling me names, and basically intimidating me with his words.
I guess what really woke me up to the situation was when I noticed that I no longer had my family around...he was slowly getting me away from them.
On the nights he was drunk he would tell our oldest daughter who was 2 at the time...that he wasn't her daddy and she better go find him. I know she was only 2, but dammit that made me mad that he would say this to his child. Then there was the time he had her in the car while he was drunk and he didn't put her in the car seat and she almost fell out of the car while he was turning a corner....I didn't know this until the next day when he told me while he was laughing. Warning signs began to go off in my head and I knew that I had to get away for my daughters sake. Luckily, I had a best friend whom I known since I was in 5th grade who was around for me. I would go to her house to basically hide away so that he couldn't find me. Again, it didn't dawn on me that this was abuse that he was inflicting on me and my daughters. My mom was beat by my dad....so I thought that this was abuse and not words and intimidation. The only thing that kept him from hitting me is my 2 brothers. Although, he kept me from them, he knew that they were a phone call away.
After I got pregnant with our second child...I began to feel physically sick whenever Jamie was near me. I felt the same feelings of when I was younger around my dad.
My oldest daughter came down with pnuemonia and she was in the hospital for 3 days inside of an oxygen tent. In a way if it had not been for this...I might have still been with him.
My family rallied to my side and were there with me day and night at the hospital. Jamie would not come because he told me that he didn't like my mother...fact being he never met her!....but this was finally the wake up call I needed. I knew that he didn't love me or his daughters....the devil himself couldn't keep me away from my girls...especially if they are sick in the hospital. So....I told him it was over. It wasn't easy..he has a big family and they all tried to join in the intimidation to get me back with him...threatning to take my daughters away etc..
My brother finally got on the phone with him and told him that he better not set one foot near me or he'd be sorry. So.. Jamie didn't bother me for awhile.
The main part of this...and I don't share this with alot of people because it is hard for me to do is that Jamie was murdered in the winter of 1993. He was dating a woman whom he did hit...beat on her all the time. The only reason I knew is because he lived downstairs from my cousin who was questioned. Well, one night while he was drunk and just got done beating his girlfriend...the sister of this woman stabbed him while he was asleep. She told the police that she feared for her life and the life of her sisters.
My daughers were still toddlers when this happened and the youngest has no memories of Jamie and the oldest says she has vague memories. Jamie's family still tried their games even after he was dead, but I was finally at the point where I wouldn't take the intimidation anymore. Once they knew this.. they left me alone.
Although, I never wished Jamie any harm, nor for him to die, I can honestly say that I have peace. I no longer have to hide away and worry about him trying to steal my daughters.
I now see the lasting impact my fathers abuse had and I am glad that I was able to leave when I did.
Cindy
Although, the father of my children didn't physically abuse me, the emotional abuse he put me through was hell. My hands are shaking right now..so this is hard for me to type.
If this will help someone than there is a reason for telling what happened in my situation.
Jamie, who was the father of my children, was an alcholic and drug abuser. He was always telling me how no man would want me because I had his kids. Foolishly I believed him for quite some time. He was always putting me down, calling me names, and basically intimidating me with his words.
I guess what really woke me up to the situation was when I noticed that I no longer had my family around...he was slowly getting me away from them.
On the nights he was drunk he would tell our oldest daughter who was 2 at the time...that he wasn't her daddy and she better go find him. I know she was only 2, but dammit that made me mad that he would say this to his child. Then there was the time he had her in the car while he was drunk and he didn't put her in the car seat and she almost fell out of the car while he was turning a corner....I didn't know this until the next day when he told me while he was laughing. Warning signs began to go off in my head and I knew that I had to get away for my daughters sake. Luckily, I had a best friend whom I known since I was in 5th grade who was around for me. I would go to her house to basically hide away so that he couldn't find me. Again, it didn't dawn on me that this was abuse that he was inflicting on me and my daughters. My mom was beat by my dad....so I thought that this was abuse and not words and intimidation. The only thing that kept him from hitting me is my 2 brothers. Although, he kept me from them, he knew that they were a phone call away.
After I got pregnant with our second child...I began to feel physically sick whenever Jamie was near me. I felt the same feelings of when I was younger around my dad.
My oldest daughter came down with pnuemonia and she was in the hospital for 3 days inside of an oxygen tent. In a way if it had not been for this...I might have still been with him.
My family rallied to my side and were there with me day and night at the hospital. Jamie would not come because he told me that he didn't like my mother...fact being he never met her!....but this was finally the wake up call I needed. I knew that he didn't love me or his daughters....the devil himself couldn't keep me away from my girls...especially if they are sick in the hospital. So....I told him it was over. It wasn't easy..he has a big family and they all tried to join in the intimidation to get me back with him...threatning to take my daughters away etc..
My brother finally got on the phone with him and told him that he better not set one foot near me or he'd be sorry. So.. Jamie didn't bother me for awhile.
The main part of this...and I don't share this with alot of people because it is hard for me to do is that Jamie was murdered in the winter of 1993. He was dating a woman whom he did hit...beat on her all the time. The only reason I knew is because he lived downstairs from my cousin who was questioned. Well, one night while he was drunk and just got done beating his girlfriend...the sister of this woman stabbed him while he was asleep. She told the police that she feared for her life and the life of her sisters.
My daughers were still toddlers when this happened and the youngest has no memories of Jamie and the oldest says she has vague memories. Jamie's family still tried their games even after he was dead, but I was finally at the point where I wouldn't take the intimidation anymore. Once they knew this.. they left me alone.
Although, I never wished Jamie any harm, nor for him to die, I can honestly say that I have peace. I no longer have to hide away and worry about him trying to steal my daughters.
I now see the lasting impact my fathers abuse had and I am glad that I was able to leave when I did.
Cindy