Lucrisid
02-24-2003, 01:53 AM
Ok... I guess we all should start telling our stories of abuse- just so the ones that are to afraid or ashamed to talk about it know that they aren't alone and that there are ways out.
Here is mine...
Since early childhood, my parents would move from one home to the next, due to my dad's job. In retrospect, I think I was looking for a reason to quit moving and move out.
I got pregnant after dating Marino for three months- he wanted me to, and I was oh so in love. I think the day I found out I was pregnant, my life changed, because I vowed to do anything I could to keep the family together.
The first time he hit me was towards the end of my pregnancy...a couple of weeks after we got married. He was driving waty too fast and I was starting to have contractions. He kept on driving over potholes and curbs, which would cause me more pain. When we got home, I was crying- whap!- I got slapped for being a crybaby. Soon after that, slaps turned into punches- black eyes weren't uncommon. I always let him convince me that something I had done had caused this to happen.
I worked in his parent's and his restaurant/cafe days a week when i got pregnant again. Beatings continued, kicking me was added to the program. I miscarried at 4,5 months- while miscarrying, I was in our bathroom. He locked me in there for two days.I got to bury the fetus after he let me out. At work, people were told I was 'sick', and everyone in his family told me I should thank God I miscarried, since it was an embarrassment that I was pregnant again. I left, but a 'guilt-ridden' Marino begged me to come back, that things would change. A week later my nose was cracked.
Another pregancy 1 year later. As a punishment, he left me and our daughter and went on a trip on Christmas. He had a girlfriend. He came home and when bleedings started after another beating, he told me...either you abort for US or I will take Crissy away and leave. I did it. And the day I had the abortion, he took off with some other woman. I broke down, so his parents contacted my family to come and get 'the whore' (me).
I was just about to file for divorce, when he suckered me into coming home again...
After that, I was no longer allowed to talk to my family or see them. I got monitored. Working in the cafe- whenever cguests couldn't make up their minds and I stood at their tables too long, they thought I was talking, so I always either got called into the kitchen, where I'd get hit or it would have to wait til we got home.
I could go on and on- basically, things got worse- I left, hid and was found and went back several times. I was threatened by him, by his parents that I would lose my kids and die.
The day I left for good: my son (whom he wanted to make me give up for adoption for 'US') was just a baby- for yet another non-existent reason, my husband attacked me. I was down on the ground and he was punching and kicking, when I heard my son say 'mommy' for the first time- well, he was screaming in terror. This was the same way I heard my daughter 'say' 'mommy' the first time years earlier. I owed it to her to leave and not let them witness any more abuse ever again.
Last year, I found out my scull was fractured from back then. I suffer from panick attacks- anxiety. Nightmares. But I am free- he is in Germany and I am here- WITH my kids and I am happy- BECAUSE I LEFT.
Tanya
Here is mine...
Since early childhood, my parents would move from one home to the next, due to my dad's job. In retrospect, I think I was looking for a reason to quit moving and move out.
I got pregnant after dating Marino for three months- he wanted me to, and I was oh so in love. I think the day I found out I was pregnant, my life changed, because I vowed to do anything I could to keep the family together.
The first time he hit me was towards the end of my pregnancy...a couple of weeks after we got married. He was driving waty too fast and I was starting to have contractions. He kept on driving over potholes and curbs, which would cause me more pain. When we got home, I was crying- whap!- I got slapped for being a crybaby. Soon after that, slaps turned into punches- black eyes weren't uncommon. I always let him convince me that something I had done had caused this to happen.
I worked in his parent's and his restaurant/cafe days a week when i got pregnant again. Beatings continued, kicking me was added to the program. I miscarried at 4,5 months- while miscarrying, I was in our bathroom. He locked me in there for two days.I got to bury the fetus after he let me out. At work, people were told I was 'sick', and everyone in his family told me I should thank God I miscarried, since it was an embarrassment that I was pregnant again. I left, but a 'guilt-ridden' Marino begged me to come back, that things would change. A week later my nose was cracked.
Another pregancy 1 year later. As a punishment, he left me and our daughter and went on a trip on Christmas. He had a girlfriend. He came home and when bleedings started after another beating, he told me...either you abort for US or I will take Crissy away and leave. I did it. And the day I had the abortion, he took off with some other woman. I broke down, so his parents contacted my family to come and get 'the whore' (me).
I was just about to file for divorce, when he suckered me into coming home again...
After that, I was no longer allowed to talk to my family or see them. I got monitored. Working in the cafe- whenever cguests couldn't make up their minds and I stood at their tables too long, they thought I was talking, so I always either got called into the kitchen, where I'd get hit or it would have to wait til we got home.
I could go on and on- basically, things got worse- I left, hid and was found and went back several times. I was threatened by him, by his parents that I would lose my kids and die.
The day I left for good: my son (whom he wanted to make me give up for adoption for 'US') was just a baby- for yet another non-existent reason, my husband attacked me. I was down on the ground and he was punching and kicking, when I heard my son say 'mommy' for the first time- well, he was screaming in terror. This was the same way I heard my daughter 'say' 'mommy' the first time years earlier. I owed it to her to leave and not let them witness any more abuse ever again.
Last year, I found out my scull was fractured from back then. I suffer from panick attacks- anxiety. Nightmares. But I am free- he is in Germany and I am here- WITH my kids and I am happy- BECAUSE I LEFT.
Tanya