Soul SLiver
02-23-2003, 11:06 PM
I can only bear so much weight before my bones do crack and my blood does pour out,
from this body, to the ground
The shoulders that carried my burden have become a pillow to that which I cannot mourn, but feel I owe an apology for
for nothing that I did, for something that I felt
My eyes will never be able to find that hatred that I have seen again, and I fear they won't find that beauty that I long for
taken from me, thrown to me
To feel so heavy with guilt, a burden I don't want, but carry for life
a gift, i cannot turn away from a gift
To feel ashamed of myself and what I want, and what I so truly deserve for myself, but will not search for
To feel like every day is a battle that I can win, but won't wake up to fight
To feel like every thought I have is wrong and stand so tall in my convictions that I would never back down
if I were alone
To keep telling that little girl that everything is like the movies and one day prince charming will be here
and feel so guilty for lying to her
To feel like my burden is mine, and no one has ever known this pain
yet I know, my sisters have felt this
my friends have felt this
and I have dealt this to ones I love
To feel like these tears may never dry
To feel like these wounds will never heal
To feel like he was right
and I lost
and I won't find
and I had it so good
Deep inside me, that little girl is screaming at me that he's wrong...and she knows it
but on the outside...this grown up little girl just wants to nap...to pretend this never happenned.
She wants to be that little girl again
from this body, to the ground
The shoulders that carried my burden have become a pillow to that which I cannot mourn, but feel I owe an apology for
for nothing that I did, for something that I felt
My eyes will never be able to find that hatred that I have seen again, and I fear they won't find that beauty that I long for
taken from me, thrown to me
To feel so heavy with guilt, a burden I don't want, but carry for life
a gift, i cannot turn away from a gift
To feel ashamed of myself and what I want, and what I so truly deserve for myself, but will not search for
To feel like every day is a battle that I can win, but won't wake up to fight
To feel like every thought I have is wrong and stand so tall in my convictions that I would never back down
if I were alone
To keep telling that little girl that everything is like the movies and one day prince charming will be here
and feel so guilty for lying to her
To feel like my burden is mine, and no one has ever known this pain
yet I know, my sisters have felt this
my friends have felt this
and I have dealt this to ones I love
To feel like these tears may never dry
To feel like these wounds will never heal
To feel like he was right
and I lost
and I won't find
and I had it so good
Deep inside me, that little girl is screaming at me that he's wrong...and she knows it
but on the outside...this grown up little girl just wants to nap...to pretend this never happenned.
She wants to be that little girl again