nighthawk_75253
04-26-2002, 03:37 AM
Feb. 24
Nothing at all has been going on. They came to shake ChiTown down last night. He was going to refuse but changed his mind. I think things will be quiet for a few days but one never knows.
My friend Sabine asked me how we deal with it when a friend receives an execution date. It's not easy. Think about it this way: your best friend has cancer, you know him since years and have spent so much time together. You practically know what the other will do in most situations. You're close to his family, they are close to yours. You find out your friend has 60 days to live and you can no longer see or speak to them. You hear 2 of your enemies laughing and joking about your friend and his imminent death.
Hold up, shakedown time.
Okay, I'm back. Shakedown wasn't much. Can't refuse all the time cause shakedown is part of prison life. But if they try to hit me tomorrow I'll refuse cause then it will be harassment. Okay what I was saying. Now you know your friend is going to die and there is nothing you can do about it while those around you know death is near. They do not feel the despair and hopelessness. They do not know the sadness and torment, the hidden tears and the wrenching of your heart. Your friend dies. Now do it all over again and again and again, friend after friend under imminent death and there's absolutely nothing you can do to help or save him. Read the book "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom. It will give you a new outlook on how to deal with death. Very good and touching book.
Feb. 25
Chi Town has another fire on his window. He says the aliens are doing it. Seems the powers that be decided the window cost him $ 97,50 which is total BS. So he wants to know if now they will charge him again for the same window. Heard Todd Willingham flooded last night at dinner time because his food was all slopped together on his tray and the officers wouldn't give him another.
Today was shower day, of course they searched our cells while we were out. They took SoulJAs fingernail clippers.
I didn't describe to well about Ricks beating on the 31st. I spoke with him at length today about it and as we were talking I relived that night. I was so wired up over it I didn't realize how bad he was hurt, but now as I replay it in my mind, I see the blood poring from a cut on his face and out of his nose and mouth. He stumbles as they lead him to the shower trying to get everyone's attention so they can see the extent of damage. He said that when they were kicking and hitting to get his door open the anxiety overwhelmed him so he unblocked the door. They came in to hurt him. He wasn't resisting or fighting them at all. The punches started raining down. His arm was wrenched from its socket was when we heard him scream out in pain. I play it over and over and see the sadistic look in the guards eyes as they take their masks off. The blood that was on the walls and floor of this cell when I moved into it an hour or so later. The aggression in trying to get the door open. Gribbs cut his hand. He was so forceful. I cannot describe how traumatic it was for him but we can all imagine. Officer Brown is 6'2", 300 + pounds and he used everyone of them to land each punch with a ring on his hand. I'm mad now as I think about it. The anger and need for revenge is so strong. I just keep seeing the blood. I really wish we hadn't talked about it because now it eats at me. The memory of blood, screams of pain, looks of sadism. AHHHHHHHH! Where's my release? How can I overcome this anger? I can only imagine how Rick has felt feeling the blows over and over, helpless as 4 officers twist him around while one beats on him. DAMN THESE SADISTIC BASTARDS DAMN THEM TO HELL!! In writing this I think I figured out why they put me in Ricks cell when they did. Because of the blood. I think they wanted to show me what could happen. Just an assumption, there's no other explanation for moving me 2 cells over. ??
9:50 pm ? I got lost mentally about dealing with a friends execution date. Sorry. The way I deal with it is like I deal with most things. I distance myself as much as possible emotionally, laugh and joke about everything else. But inside its tearing me apart. I think BJs execution Dec. 2, 2000 took my last tears but I don't know. We will have to wait and see. His execution really tore me down emotionally cause we were very close so its going to affect me pretty bad if they kill him.
Feb. 26
8:44 am ? A Mr. Brown from the substitute counsels office just came to see me. Substitute counsels are the ones who represent us at the kangaroo court disciplinary hearings ? anyway I had been trying to get some help on an appeal with no reply to my request, so I asked Hank what I should do. He said to write the warden about it because they definitely over charged me on the $ 132,14. So Brown tells me the warden sent him to see what's up. He went to check on what they charged me for. 2 cans of spray paint (nothing was painted), 10 welding rods (2 were used), ½ sheet of plexiglass (25"x35" was replaced), ½ sheet of screen (28"x35" was replaced). They charged me practically double ? Brown looked and its obvious they DID NOT use the materials they said they did. I'm just glad Hank pointed me in the right direction or I'd have never known. Brown also went to measure Chi Town window. Guess he didn't realize they are all the same. (smile)
This should be very revealing. Almost 80 % of those on Level II and III were productive work program inmates.
Well, chow time! They fed everyone except F section. They say they must wait on a supervisor. Okay. So now they pick everyone else trays up. Still ain't fed us. So I start putting old newspapers out of the crack in my door. The pile gets higher and higher. The picket officer glances over and sees the potential for a big ass fire. Gets on the phone and here come 2 supervisors. In the interim the wing officers rush over to move all the paper before I can light it. Wasn't gonna light it anyway. Sometimes all it takes is a bluff. But it shouldn't even take that. A supervisor should have already been here. They know it was chow time.
10:45 pm ? Bedtime ? it's been quiet.
Feb. 27
10:24 pm ? I slept all day today. Chi Town told me that at breakfast time Birdman refused to give up his milk carton, so they went and suited up the team to go get it. Once the team got suited up and came he went ahead, put it out (smile). When asked why he started because he was tired of all the Bullshit, being treated like a dog "Sit Boy, sit and I'll feed you". But he isn't gonna let them run in and beat his ass, but he would cause them discomfort now and then because of all the bullshit they put him through like sit or speak.
I have received some questions so I'll answer them and hopefully shed some light on the issues.
Showers here are very cool to cold except in summer time when they turn the temp up instead of down. The allowed time is 7 minutes but usually your in the shower from 10 ? 20, sometime 30 minutes, depending on whats going on on the pod. There is a slot in the door, the same as on the cells so they can cuff and uncuff you.
Strip searches are exactly that. They make you take off all your clothes, open your mouth, run your fingers through your hair, turn around, lift your right foot, left foot, bend over, spread your cheeks. They do not touch your body at this time. If a female officer is present she is supposed to stand off to the side while your stripped. If it is a whole wing being searched, they use the same gloves so if one person has a fungus or something, it could be spread.
Beds: Our beds are not really beds at all. It's a steal slab with a thin blue mattress on it. The mattresses they give us are cotton stuffed so after a month or so the cotton composts and becomes hard. By then though it's conformed to your most used sleeping position, not comfortable at all but better than just a steal slab. We get 2 sheets,1 pillowcase, which we exchange once a week for clean ones.
Visits: Our visits are held in small booths. There is a ½ inch glass partition in between us and the visitors. We speak through phones that sometimes have so much static you can not hear each other. NO CONTACT whatsoever. I haven't felt my mothers touch in over 10 years. Before a visit you are strip searched in your cell. After a visit you are strip searched in a small holding cell in the hallway. They must make sure you don't carry any food back. visitors are allowed to bring $ 20,00 each. This money is used for snacks for us and photos which costs $3,00 each. They have several vending machines in the visitors side of the visiting room.
Seems Major Lester is up to his tricks again. He put DW on container restriction for nothing. Policy clearly states container restriction is for inmates who chunk on officers and is for 30 days maximum. I'll get the whole story and policy and write more on it then. All it is, is a power trip for Major Lester. I honestly believe he has a short man complex. Anyway I'll write more on it when I get the whole story.
EJ and Barron made their Level II today. (smile)
Feb. 28
Lockdown is still on. Johnny sack lunches, but for supper chow regular trays. They have double to triple portions on them. Of course they had Sgt. Dickerson take photos of these trays. The only time they take these pictures is when the trays are loaded down like tonight. What they are doing is trying to sly because the pressure is on them and they are trying to cover their tracks. They were supposed to take pictures every day.
6:15 pm. - We just heard they took Monty Delk to the Walls. I can't believe it cause that dude is totally gone. If they execute him none of us are safe. I've been reading all this stuff about the mentally retarded. What about those who have lost their minds because there are those who have lost their minds and some who are losing it.
7:27 pm ? Rumor has it Officer Pierce got fired for his punching on Rick Rhoades. We also heard that Sgt. Ludwig got probation for shooting at Rick with the tear gas gun. Neither of these rumors have been confirmed. As soon as I hear for sure I'll let you all know.
10:41 pm ? We just got confirmation. They murdered Monty tonight. It's a sad, sad day for Americans cause if they will execute an insane man they will execute anyone. BARBARIC BASTARDS! I cannot believe they did it. They cannot label it as justice or even vengeance. His murder was nothing less than sadistic.
March 1
10:51 am ? We were just informed we are back on week 1, day 1. Now you see how they mess us over. I've were on week 2, day 6, going into week 3. No one caused a disturbance or anything yet they set us back all but SoulJA and T. I'm mad as hell. It's on. Once again we see an abuse of authority from Warden Zeller. Instead of coming to try and deal with our issues he chooses to make another, we will oblige him! I will get the lockdown criteria Monday and write it verbatim. No, it will be Wednesday 6th before I can get it. Please! We need your calls and letters to the ombudsman's office and the unit. They cannot justify this at all. Call please, complain. Rick Rhoades hasn't any disruptive behaviour or disciplinary cases since we have been on lockdown yet he was put back to week 1, day 1. I had a refusing order case but this is not disruptive behaviour. No one has had any thing happen since the 23, so we should at the least be on week 2.
Help us fight this abuse of authority!
In struggle and solidarity
Paul Colella
Questions + comments welcome
Paul Colella
# 999045
Polunsky Unit
3872 FM 350 South
Livingston, Texas 77351
USA
Email: paul@deathrow.at
<http://www.deathrow.at/polunsky/news/paul.jpg>
Nothing at all has been going on. They came to shake ChiTown down last night. He was going to refuse but changed his mind. I think things will be quiet for a few days but one never knows.
My friend Sabine asked me how we deal with it when a friend receives an execution date. It's not easy. Think about it this way: your best friend has cancer, you know him since years and have spent so much time together. You practically know what the other will do in most situations. You're close to his family, they are close to yours. You find out your friend has 60 days to live and you can no longer see or speak to them. You hear 2 of your enemies laughing and joking about your friend and his imminent death.
Hold up, shakedown time.
Okay, I'm back. Shakedown wasn't much. Can't refuse all the time cause shakedown is part of prison life. But if they try to hit me tomorrow I'll refuse cause then it will be harassment. Okay what I was saying. Now you know your friend is going to die and there is nothing you can do about it while those around you know death is near. They do not feel the despair and hopelessness. They do not know the sadness and torment, the hidden tears and the wrenching of your heart. Your friend dies. Now do it all over again and again and again, friend after friend under imminent death and there's absolutely nothing you can do to help or save him. Read the book "Tuesdays with Morrie" by Mitch Albom. It will give you a new outlook on how to deal with death. Very good and touching book.
Feb. 25
Chi Town has another fire on his window. He says the aliens are doing it. Seems the powers that be decided the window cost him $ 97,50 which is total BS. So he wants to know if now they will charge him again for the same window. Heard Todd Willingham flooded last night at dinner time because his food was all slopped together on his tray and the officers wouldn't give him another.
Today was shower day, of course they searched our cells while we were out. They took SoulJAs fingernail clippers.
I didn't describe to well about Ricks beating on the 31st. I spoke with him at length today about it and as we were talking I relived that night. I was so wired up over it I didn't realize how bad he was hurt, but now as I replay it in my mind, I see the blood poring from a cut on his face and out of his nose and mouth. He stumbles as they lead him to the shower trying to get everyone's attention so they can see the extent of damage. He said that when they were kicking and hitting to get his door open the anxiety overwhelmed him so he unblocked the door. They came in to hurt him. He wasn't resisting or fighting them at all. The punches started raining down. His arm was wrenched from its socket was when we heard him scream out in pain. I play it over and over and see the sadistic look in the guards eyes as they take their masks off. The blood that was on the walls and floor of this cell when I moved into it an hour or so later. The aggression in trying to get the door open. Gribbs cut his hand. He was so forceful. I cannot describe how traumatic it was for him but we can all imagine. Officer Brown is 6'2", 300 + pounds and he used everyone of them to land each punch with a ring on his hand. I'm mad now as I think about it. The anger and need for revenge is so strong. I just keep seeing the blood. I really wish we hadn't talked about it because now it eats at me. The memory of blood, screams of pain, looks of sadism. AHHHHHHHH! Where's my release? How can I overcome this anger? I can only imagine how Rick has felt feeling the blows over and over, helpless as 4 officers twist him around while one beats on him. DAMN THESE SADISTIC BASTARDS DAMN THEM TO HELL!! In writing this I think I figured out why they put me in Ricks cell when they did. Because of the blood. I think they wanted to show me what could happen. Just an assumption, there's no other explanation for moving me 2 cells over. ??
9:50 pm ? I got lost mentally about dealing with a friends execution date. Sorry. The way I deal with it is like I deal with most things. I distance myself as much as possible emotionally, laugh and joke about everything else. But inside its tearing me apart. I think BJs execution Dec. 2, 2000 took my last tears but I don't know. We will have to wait and see. His execution really tore me down emotionally cause we were very close so its going to affect me pretty bad if they kill him.
Feb. 26
8:44 am ? A Mr. Brown from the substitute counsels office just came to see me. Substitute counsels are the ones who represent us at the kangaroo court disciplinary hearings ? anyway I had been trying to get some help on an appeal with no reply to my request, so I asked Hank what I should do. He said to write the warden about it because they definitely over charged me on the $ 132,14. So Brown tells me the warden sent him to see what's up. He went to check on what they charged me for. 2 cans of spray paint (nothing was painted), 10 welding rods (2 were used), ½ sheet of plexiglass (25"x35" was replaced), ½ sheet of screen (28"x35" was replaced). They charged me practically double ? Brown looked and its obvious they DID NOT use the materials they said they did. I'm just glad Hank pointed me in the right direction or I'd have never known. Brown also went to measure Chi Town window. Guess he didn't realize they are all the same. (smile)
This should be very revealing. Almost 80 % of those on Level II and III were productive work program inmates.
Well, chow time! They fed everyone except F section. They say they must wait on a supervisor. Okay. So now they pick everyone else trays up. Still ain't fed us. So I start putting old newspapers out of the crack in my door. The pile gets higher and higher. The picket officer glances over and sees the potential for a big ass fire. Gets on the phone and here come 2 supervisors. In the interim the wing officers rush over to move all the paper before I can light it. Wasn't gonna light it anyway. Sometimes all it takes is a bluff. But it shouldn't even take that. A supervisor should have already been here. They know it was chow time.
10:45 pm ? Bedtime ? it's been quiet.
Feb. 27
10:24 pm ? I slept all day today. Chi Town told me that at breakfast time Birdman refused to give up his milk carton, so they went and suited up the team to go get it. Once the team got suited up and came he went ahead, put it out (smile). When asked why he started because he was tired of all the Bullshit, being treated like a dog "Sit Boy, sit and I'll feed you". But he isn't gonna let them run in and beat his ass, but he would cause them discomfort now and then because of all the bullshit they put him through like sit or speak.
I have received some questions so I'll answer them and hopefully shed some light on the issues.
Showers here are very cool to cold except in summer time when they turn the temp up instead of down. The allowed time is 7 minutes but usually your in the shower from 10 ? 20, sometime 30 minutes, depending on whats going on on the pod. There is a slot in the door, the same as on the cells so they can cuff and uncuff you.
Strip searches are exactly that. They make you take off all your clothes, open your mouth, run your fingers through your hair, turn around, lift your right foot, left foot, bend over, spread your cheeks. They do not touch your body at this time. If a female officer is present she is supposed to stand off to the side while your stripped. If it is a whole wing being searched, they use the same gloves so if one person has a fungus or something, it could be spread.
Beds: Our beds are not really beds at all. It's a steal slab with a thin blue mattress on it. The mattresses they give us are cotton stuffed so after a month or so the cotton composts and becomes hard. By then though it's conformed to your most used sleeping position, not comfortable at all but better than just a steal slab. We get 2 sheets,1 pillowcase, which we exchange once a week for clean ones.
Visits: Our visits are held in small booths. There is a ½ inch glass partition in between us and the visitors. We speak through phones that sometimes have so much static you can not hear each other. NO CONTACT whatsoever. I haven't felt my mothers touch in over 10 years. Before a visit you are strip searched in your cell. After a visit you are strip searched in a small holding cell in the hallway. They must make sure you don't carry any food back. visitors are allowed to bring $ 20,00 each. This money is used for snacks for us and photos which costs $3,00 each. They have several vending machines in the visitors side of the visiting room.
Seems Major Lester is up to his tricks again. He put DW on container restriction for nothing. Policy clearly states container restriction is for inmates who chunk on officers and is for 30 days maximum. I'll get the whole story and policy and write more on it then. All it is, is a power trip for Major Lester. I honestly believe he has a short man complex. Anyway I'll write more on it when I get the whole story.
EJ and Barron made their Level II today. (smile)
Feb. 28
Lockdown is still on. Johnny sack lunches, but for supper chow regular trays. They have double to triple portions on them. Of course they had Sgt. Dickerson take photos of these trays. The only time they take these pictures is when the trays are loaded down like tonight. What they are doing is trying to sly because the pressure is on them and they are trying to cover their tracks. They were supposed to take pictures every day.
6:15 pm. - We just heard they took Monty Delk to the Walls. I can't believe it cause that dude is totally gone. If they execute him none of us are safe. I've been reading all this stuff about the mentally retarded. What about those who have lost their minds because there are those who have lost their minds and some who are losing it.
7:27 pm ? Rumor has it Officer Pierce got fired for his punching on Rick Rhoades. We also heard that Sgt. Ludwig got probation for shooting at Rick with the tear gas gun. Neither of these rumors have been confirmed. As soon as I hear for sure I'll let you all know.
10:41 pm ? We just got confirmation. They murdered Monty tonight. It's a sad, sad day for Americans cause if they will execute an insane man they will execute anyone. BARBARIC BASTARDS! I cannot believe they did it. They cannot label it as justice or even vengeance. His murder was nothing less than sadistic.
March 1
10:51 am ? We were just informed we are back on week 1, day 1. Now you see how they mess us over. I've were on week 2, day 6, going into week 3. No one caused a disturbance or anything yet they set us back all but SoulJA and T. I'm mad as hell. It's on. Once again we see an abuse of authority from Warden Zeller. Instead of coming to try and deal with our issues he chooses to make another, we will oblige him! I will get the lockdown criteria Monday and write it verbatim. No, it will be Wednesday 6th before I can get it. Please! We need your calls and letters to the ombudsman's office and the unit. They cannot justify this at all. Call please, complain. Rick Rhoades hasn't any disruptive behaviour or disciplinary cases since we have been on lockdown yet he was put back to week 1, day 1. I had a refusing order case but this is not disruptive behaviour. No one has had any thing happen since the 23, so we should at the least be on week 2.
Help us fight this abuse of authority!
In struggle and solidarity
Paul Colella
Questions + comments welcome
Paul Colella
# 999045
Polunsky Unit
3872 FM 350 South
Livingston, Texas 77351
USA
Email: paul@deathrow.at
<http://www.deathrow.at/polunsky/news/paul.jpg>