Have any of you found your spouse while they were on the inside and now they are out? How is your relationship? Were/are they the same person you thought? Did your plans for a future work out as planned? Did you think that things would just be haaven?

Sebastian found me by way of a misdialed phone call when he was in county jail. Long story short we began a relationship while he served his prison term. We wrote and talked on the phone every day. I visited as often as humanly possible. He introduced me to his mother and other family members via 3 way phone calls. I did 14 months with this man I'd never known in the "real world".

He came home on Wednesday, September 15, 2004. He's made good on every promise. If anything he treats me even better than he said he would. His family has become my family.

Don't get me wrong we've had our moments. It has been more difficult for me to adjust than it has for him. He feels badly because he hasn't been able to secure full time employment. I want him to have a job for the way it will make him feel not because I want him to do things for me.

I realize that the odds were against this accidental phone call turned relationship however I'm here to tell you that at least in our case it's going strong.

It warms my heart to know that even if we disagree we are strongly committed to one another. We can have different opinions on various situations but still respect one another.

I believe that fate and destiny had a role in all of this but it was our continued concious effort to communicate our needs, expectations and desires that built a strong foundation for our relationship. I can trust him and he can trust me. We say what we need to say and deal with it together.

Our plans have worked out thus far because we knew we would have to struggle to find our way in the real world. That's okay, ain't no mountain high, ain't no valley low. We continue to do this... TOGETHER.

That's Our Deal,
Patty

Its nice to hear that there are good stories out there I've read so many posts about it being nothing like what they thought or planned. Today was my 3rd visit to him and it seems like each time I leave a little more sad I still want to take him home in my pocket (Not likely a 6'3 tall man would fit) but its worth a shot :-) After leaving him today I realized all the little things that you take for granted in a normal relationship such as holding hands, little phone calls to say hi. I think the hardest thing for me is trying to find conversation that doesn't lead to things like asking what are you doing tomorow? I think that is why i have a hard time in the visits... I realized that he is worth it for how he makes me feel even if we haven't talked in days I still smile and know that he is thinking of me. Tonight he asked me about our future and where I see it going. I told him I don't have a final destination but I hope that we are together on the journey.

Patty,
That's a beautiful story. I hope to post my success story next year. I so needed to hear that right now btw.
Wendy

I wish you both many happy tommorrows with your loved ones...

Hugggz,
Patty

I am in a similar situation. Scott and I met 7 yrs ago and dated for a month or so.We never saw each other again. I ran into his sister and she told me that he was in prison.I wrote him a letter thinking he could use a friend. He wrote be back and we have been together ever since. We write letters and visit. He told me for that he loved me for the first time this past weekend. This man completes me in every way possible. We are talking about our future and even about getting married. I am just nervous on what it will be like when he gets out. We have been together for 4 mths and I am happier than I have ever been. I value our visits, our calls, and our letters. I don't take a moment of time with him forgranted. He has 2 yrs to serve and when he gets out he is promising me the world. I trust him and what he says but I am still nervous on what everyday life will be like for us. I believe that if a couple can make it through something as hard as serving time they can make it through anything. I also believe that fate has a hand in this. Who would of ever thought that after 7 yrs I would run into his sister and we would begin a relationship like we have. God has a plan for all of us and I think this is God's plan for us. It is great to hear that there are happy endings out there. Good Luck to both of you.

Jaz 564
You are so correst in this statemenet you made......Good Luck to you, Its been 20 yrs sense me and my friend had seen each other and hes a sweety but I dont think he believes this statement where we are concerned but at least we are reunited "3yrs and going" ......... :thumbsup:


"QUOTE FROM JAD 564
I believe that if a couple can make it through something as hard as serving time they can make it through anything. I also believe that fate has a hand in this. Who would of ever thought that after 7 yrs I would run into his sister and we would begin a relationship like we have. God has a plan for all of us and I think this is God's plan for us. It is great to hear that there are happy endings out there. Good Luck to both of you.

I met my husband while I was working at a State Prison... (which is a big no no) but I resigned from my position so we could write to eachother. He was 28 and I was 21. My family and I were all worried of course he was from a different place... totally different backgrounds and it worried me all of the trouble he had been in. I met him April 2002. We wrote our first letters on Oct 10th 2002 and He got out January 31 2003 and moved right in with me and my son! Scary huh! Well now 2 years later we are married, my son calls him daddy (by the way he is the most incredible father to him) and we have one baby on the way. He is the best man I could have ever asked for and treats me like a queen... he has completely turned his life around and my family absolutely loves him!! Regardless of his background and the fact that he is covered in tattoos and my family is rather SQUARE, Hahahaha.... He is back in now because he abscounded to stay here with me because they wouldnt transfer his parole unless we were married and he was worried to go back and get into more trouble. He stayed untill we got married and went in the day after our wedding. Now everything is being taken care of and we love eachother very much.... All of you girls out there who are worried and wondering... Believe me it can happen and it can work out great!!

Waiting!! Thanks for such a great post! My hubby and I reunited after being apart for over 22 yrs. We were high school sweethearts... We did get married last June while he is still in prison so that there will be NO problems with him coming to Texas when he is released...Oct 2006 We HOPE! :)
I'm already wondering how much my life will change with him here!!
Hope your man gets back out soon and ya'll have a wonderful life!!

Renee

Well the truth is that we met while I was working at the prison, I resigned, we married, he got out; he really wasn't who I thought he was! It has been rocky to say the least. His biggest problem is he doesn't want anybody to tell him what to do so everytime I say just about anything he takes it like I am trying to tell him what to do. He's impossible! So that makes it really hard to communicate. He is quite immature, I think he stayed at the age he got locked up at which was 24; however now he is 39 but acts like a kid and hangs out with 20 year olds. He has a nasty temper which I never realized when he was locked up; at least I never thought he would direct it at me but I found out otherwise now. Sorry to be so negative but I'm just telling the truth about my experience. He hangs out with in my opinion, thugs and druggies though he says he isn't using. I can't tell, he is moody with a short fuse but good at only letting me see what he wants me to see so I can't really tell if he is high sometimes or just moody. Well I could go on and on but I won't, those are the highlights. We have some good times, don't get me wrong. But in the long run if I had known it was going to be like this when he got out I don't think I would have married him. I am very straight and have zero tolerance for all that party life-style stuff. When he was in he went to church and I thought he was a solid Christian man but he has only been to church a few times since he's been out and doesn't really seem to care about it now. I think church was just a reason to get out of his cell.

Well maybe you have a point Aprillove do people who get locked up get stuck at that age? if you think about it your life pretty much stops at that point you don't grow with the outside world and you don't have the interaction with people and how your supposed to act and handle yourself. I think that it just takes time to readjust to the "new" world they are living in. I think there are some posts that actually give ideas on what to look out for and how to cope with him coming home.

time can only tell what someone will be like. I love my man and he has two years two go. I still get nervous and wonder. Then I just think back to my kids dad, who was never in jail who had a crazy temper and acted like a small child even though he was 29.It was horrible.I guess we can only live for today and take each day as it comes. good luck

I enjoyed reading the post it is great to hear these stories. I was almost in tears with Patty talking about her realtionship, because that is what I would love for someone to make good on all or lest the most of their promises and work with eachother even though you both don't always see eye to eye you get trhough it all. Thanks for the uplifing now I know it can happen.
Best wishes to you all
Brandi

I'm not in the same situation as any of you, i met and married my "soul mate"before he went in this lasttime, but i just wnted to comment on what a great thread and how much i have loved reading your stories :)