Nuro's Wife
01-29-2005, 03:53 PM
Praying the Lord's Prayer for Your Marriage - Part I
Jay Sklar, Ph.D.
Two Becoming One
How does the Lord Jesus want you to pray for your marriage?
I'm not asking how often He wants you to pray for your marriage. I'm not asking how long He wants you to pray for your marriage. I'm simply asking how does He want you to pray for your marriage? What type of things does He want you to be praying for your spouse? What should your focus be when you pray for your spouse?
Someone might respond, "Those are great questions, but there is no verse in the Bible where the Lord says, 'Pray for your marriage in such and such a way'." That is true. But there are certainly many prayers in the Bible that could serve as models of how God wants us to pray. This is especially true of the most well-known prayer in the Bible: the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13).
Just before Jesus begins the Lord's Prayer, he does not say, "Pray these words: Our Father who art in heaven...." No, Jesus says, "Pray, then, in this way: Our Father who art in heaven..." (Matthew 6:9a). In other words, Jesus is not giving us a prayer to recite as much as He is giving us a model of what prayer should look like.
So what does Jesus want our prayers to look like? And how can we use Jesus' model of prayer in praying for our marriage?
Our Father, who art in heaven...Jesus begins His model prayer with a reminder of who it is that we pray to. Before bringing any of our requests before God, we pause to remember the God to whom we are praying.
On the one hand, we remind ourselves that God is "our Father". He is not a distant God who is far away; He is a God who is near, a God who loves us, a God to whom we can come like a little child can come to his or her father.
On the other hand, we remind ourselves that God is our Father "who is in heaven". This speaks of God's sovereignty and greatness, His absolute control over the world. As a result, we not only bow before Him with reverence, we also bring our requests to Him in confidence, knowing that He is powerful and mighty to help us.
Our prayers, then, begin with praise to God, our loving Father who is great and powerful and able to help us. This can be especially important to remember in the context of a marriage that is difficult or going through a rough time. God does indeed love us and is indeed able to help us.
Hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven...The focus of these three petitions is the glory of God. This is very important to recognize. Unlike many of our prayers, Jesus' prayer does not begin with asking for daily bread; that comes later. Instead, Jesus teaches us to begin by praying for the glory of God. In fact, all three of these petitions are focusing on that very thing.
For example, the word "hallow" in this context means "to treat as holy". When we pray, "Hallowed be Thy name", we are praying that God would be treated as holy in this world. We are praying that people would acknowledge His holy character and respond to Him as a holy God. What we are praying is that people would give glory to God.
When we pray "Thy kingdom come," we are praying the same. The "kingdom" of God is His rule and His reign in this world that is shown especially in the lives of those who have submitted to His lordship. When we pray that His kingdom would come we are praying that more and more people be rescued from the kingdom of darkness and submit their lives to the kingship of God Himself.
When we pray "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven," we are again praying that God would be glorified in the earth. We are praying that people would be obedient to the will of God so that the kingdom of heaven itself would be reflected in their lives. Once more, then, we are praying that God would be glorified.
How should this impact the way that we pray for our marriage? If God's glory were our first concern, what kinds of things would we be praying for? Here are a few suggestions to consider:
1. We would pray for the Lord's perspective - a kingdom perspective - in the decisions that we make as a couple. Ask the Lord to give you a kingdom perspective on life. Ask him to make the things that thrill His heart thrill yours; ask him to make the things that break His heart break yours.
2. We would pray that our spouse would love the Lord God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. We would go so far as to pray that our spouse's love for God would be greater than any other love that they had.
3. We would pray for our spouse's spiritual life and their growth in Christ. If they are not a Christian, we would be bold to continue to pray that God would bring them to faith in Jesus Christ.
What all of these suggestions have in common is that they are prayers for God's glory to be manifested in the context of our marriage. This is how prayer for marriage should begin. Is this how our prayers for our marriages begin?
----------------------
Praying the Lord's Prayer for Your Marriage - Part II
Jay Sklar, Ph.D.
Two Becoming One
How does the Lord Jesus want you to pray for your marriage?
In part one of this article we began to consider how the model of prayer that Jesus gives us in the Lord's Prayer could guide us in praying for our marriages. We saw that Jesus has us begin by remembering who God is: our loving Father who is in heaven, mighty and sovereign and able to help us when we call to Him. We then saw that Jesus has us continue by praying that God would be glorified: that His name would be treated as holy, that His kingdom would come, that His will would be done on earth as it is in heaven.
The implication of all of this is that our prayers for our marriage should be founded on a desire that God be glorified in our marriage. God's glory should be the foundation of our prayers. But our prayers do not stop here, for the Lord's Prayer continues on.
Give us this day our daily bread
After focusing on God's glory, we are ready to ask the Lord for his material provision. Practically, this means:
1. We give thankful acknowledgment to the Lord that He is the source of our material provision;
2. We pray His help and aid in providing for our material needs;
3. We pray that as a couple we would be content with provision of daily bread and that He would protect us from the dangers of materialism.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors
This part of the Lord's Prayer is often confusing to people. Does it mean that we earn God's forgiveness only when we forgive other people? By no means. God grants us forgiveness freely and as a demonstration of His grace. But that is just the point: we cannot ask this of God on the one hand and refuse to extend it to someone else on the other hand!
Jesus illustrates this for us with a parable in Matthew 18:21-35. We read there of a slave who owed the king millions of dollars. When the slave could not repay the king, the king was going to have him thrown in jail. The slave begged for mercy and the king graciously forgave the debt. That slave then went out and found a fellow slave who owed him only a few dollars. When the fellow slave could not repay, he pleaded for mercy. The first slave refused to forgive him of the debt, however, and had him thrown into prison. When the king learned of it, he was furious! He had forgiven the first slave a debt of millions of dollars and now that slave would not forgive someone else a debt of a few dollars! How could this be?!
Jesus' point was very clear: you and I, like that first slave, have been forgiven an incalculable debt of sin by God. In fact, the debt of our sin against God is so great that the debt of others' sins against us do not even begin to compare! And because the debt we have been forgiven is so large, we cannot help but forgive the lesser debts of those who sin against us. If we refuse to do this, we are like that first slave, and risk the anger of God Himself.
How does this impact the way that we pray for our marriage? Here are some suggestions:
1. We must be open and honest before the Lord about our sins, confessing them and repenting from them; this includes the sins that we have committed against our spouse;
2. We must also ask the Lord for His help in forgiving our spouse for their sins against us; this might include asking Him to take away bitterness, to give us a forgiving heart, and to help us to remember the grace that He has shown to us in forgiving our sins.
3. Some helpful resources on forgiveness are: The Art of Forgiving (Lewis Smedes); Bold Love (Dan Allender; deals with anger and forgiveness in difficult relationships); What's So Amazing About Grace (Philip Yancey; full of good stories; touches on forgiveness very well on several occasions).
And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil
There is some debate among scholars about how this part of the Lord's prayer is to be understood. One thing is agreed, though, and it is this: there is an evil one in the world who seeks our harm and we are in great need of the Lord's protection from him. As it applies to marriage:
1. We need to pray that the Lord would protect our marriage. We could pray specifically that: He would help us to maintain our faithfulness to our spouse and purity in our lives; He would protect us from believing the lies of the enemy about marriage; He would protect us from drifting apart from each other or drifting away from the Lord.
For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever, Amen.
There is some question whether or not this was part of the original Lord's prayer (see the margin or footnotes in your Bible at Matthew 6:13). It does remind us, however, of the greatness of God and of His glory. In this regard it takes us back to the beginning of the Lord's Prayer, reminding us of who God is and of the fact that His glory should be our greatest concern.
Do you want to pray well for your marriage? Let the Lord's Prayer guide you as you lift up your spouse and your marriage before the Lord.
© 2003 Christian Family Life
</FONT>
Jay Sklar, Ph.D.
Two Becoming One
How does the Lord Jesus want you to pray for your marriage?
I'm not asking how often He wants you to pray for your marriage. I'm not asking how long He wants you to pray for your marriage. I'm simply asking how does He want you to pray for your marriage? What type of things does He want you to be praying for your spouse? What should your focus be when you pray for your spouse?
Someone might respond, "Those are great questions, but there is no verse in the Bible where the Lord says, 'Pray for your marriage in such and such a way'." That is true. But there are certainly many prayers in the Bible that could serve as models of how God wants us to pray. This is especially true of the most well-known prayer in the Bible: the Lord's Prayer (Matthew 6:9-13).
Just before Jesus begins the Lord's Prayer, he does not say, "Pray these words: Our Father who art in heaven...." No, Jesus says, "Pray, then, in this way: Our Father who art in heaven..." (Matthew 6:9a). In other words, Jesus is not giving us a prayer to recite as much as He is giving us a model of what prayer should look like.
So what does Jesus want our prayers to look like? And how can we use Jesus' model of prayer in praying for our marriage?
Our Father, who art in heaven...Jesus begins His model prayer with a reminder of who it is that we pray to. Before bringing any of our requests before God, we pause to remember the God to whom we are praying.
On the one hand, we remind ourselves that God is "our Father". He is not a distant God who is far away; He is a God who is near, a God who loves us, a God to whom we can come like a little child can come to his or her father.
On the other hand, we remind ourselves that God is our Father "who is in heaven". This speaks of God's sovereignty and greatness, His absolute control over the world. As a result, we not only bow before Him with reverence, we also bring our requests to Him in confidence, knowing that He is powerful and mighty to help us.
Our prayers, then, begin with praise to God, our loving Father who is great and powerful and able to help us. This can be especially important to remember in the context of a marriage that is difficult or going through a rough time. God does indeed love us and is indeed able to help us.
Hallowed be Thy name, Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven...The focus of these three petitions is the glory of God. This is very important to recognize. Unlike many of our prayers, Jesus' prayer does not begin with asking for daily bread; that comes later. Instead, Jesus teaches us to begin by praying for the glory of God. In fact, all three of these petitions are focusing on that very thing.
For example, the word "hallow" in this context means "to treat as holy". When we pray, "Hallowed be Thy name", we are praying that God would be treated as holy in this world. We are praying that people would acknowledge His holy character and respond to Him as a holy God. What we are praying is that people would give glory to God.
When we pray "Thy kingdom come," we are praying the same. The "kingdom" of God is His rule and His reign in this world that is shown especially in the lives of those who have submitted to His lordship. When we pray that His kingdom would come we are praying that more and more people be rescued from the kingdom of darkness and submit their lives to the kingship of God Himself.
When we pray "Thy will be done on earth as it is in heaven," we are again praying that God would be glorified in the earth. We are praying that people would be obedient to the will of God so that the kingdom of heaven itself would be reflected in their lives. Once more, then, we are praying that God would be glorified.
How should this impact the way that we pray for our marriage? If God's glory were our first concern, what kinds of things would we be praying for? Here are a few suggestions to consider:
1. We would pray for the Lord's perspective - a kingdom perspective - in the decisions that we make as a couple. Ask the Lord to give you a kingdom perspective on life. Ask him to make the things that thrill His heart thrill yours; ask him to make the things that break His heart break yours.
2. We would pray that our spouse would love the Lord God with all their heart, soul, mind and strength. We would go so far as to pray that our spouse's love for God would be greater than any other love that they had.
3. We would pray for our spouse's spiritual life and their growth in Christ. If they are not a Christian, we would be bold to continue to pray that God would bring them to faith in Jesus Christ.
What all of these suggestions have in common is that they are prayers for God's glory to be manifested in the context of our marriage. This is how prayer for marriage should begin. Is this how our prayers for our marriages begin?
----------------------
Praying the Lord's Prayer for Your Marriage - Part II
Jay Sklar, Ph.D.
Two Becoming One
How does the Lord Jesus want you to pray for your marriage?
In part one of this article we began to consider how the model of prayer that Jesus gives us in the Lord's Prayer could guide us in praying for our marriages. We saw that Jesus has us begin by remembering who God is: our loving Father who is in heaven, mighty and sovereign and able to help us when we call to Him. We then saw that Jesus has us continue by praying that God would be glorified: that His name would be treated as holy, that His kingdom would come, that His will would be done on earth as it is in heaven.
The implication of all of this is that our prayers for our marriage should be founded on a desire that God be glorified in our marriage. God's glory should be the foundation of our prayers. But our prayers do not stop here, for the Lord's Prayer continues on.
Give us this day our daily bread
After focusing on God's glory, we are ready to ask the Lord for his material provision. Practically, this means:
1. We give thankful acknowledgment to the Lord that He is the source of our material provision;
2. We pray His help and aid in providing for our material needs;
3. We pray that as a couple we would be content with provision of daily bread and that He would protect us from the dangers of materialism.
And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors
This part of the Lord's Prayer is often confusing to people. Does it mean that we earn God's forgiveness only when we forgive other people? By no means. God grants us forgiveness freely and as a demonstration of His grace. But that is just the point: we cannot ask this of God on the one hand and refuse to extend it to someone else on the other hand!
Jesus illustrates this for us with a parable in Matthew 18:21-35. We read there of a slave who owed the king millions of dollars. When the slave could not repay the king, the king was going to have him thrown in jail. The slave begged for mercy and the king graciously forgave the debt. That slave then went out and found a fellow slave who owed him only a few dollars. When the fellow slave could not repay, he pleaded for mercy. The first slave refused to forgive him of the debt, however, and had him thrown into prison. When the king learned of it, he was furious! He had forgiven the first slave a debt of millions of dollars and now that slave would not forgive someone else a debt of a few dollars! How could this be?!
Jesus' point was very clear: you and I, like that first slave, have been forgiven an incalculable debt of sin by God. In fact, the debt of our sin against God is so great that the debt of others' sins against us do not even begin to compare! And because the debt we have been forgiven is so large, we cannot help but forgive the lesser debts of those who sin against us. If we refuse to do this, we are like that first slave, and risk the anger of God Himself.
How does this impact the way that we pray for our marriage? Here are some suggestions:
1. We must be open and honest before the Lord about our sins, confessing them and repenting from them; this includes the sins that we have committed against our spouse;
2. We must also ask the Lord for His help in forgiving our spouse for their sins against us; this might include asking Him to take away bitterness, to give us a forgiving heart, and to help us to remember the grace that He has shown to us in forgiving our sins.
3. Some helpful resources on forgiveness are: The Art of Forgiving (Lewis Smedes); Bold Love (Dan Allender; deals with anger and forgiveness in difficult relationships); What's So Amazing About Grace (Philip Yancey; full of good stories; touches on forgiveness very well on several occasions).
And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil
There is some debate among scholars about how this part of the Lord's prayer is to be understood. One thing is agreed, though, and it is this: there is an evil one in the world who seeks our harm and we are in great need of the Lord's protection from him. As it applies to marriage:
1. We need to pray that the Lord would protect our marriage. We could pray specifically that: He would help us to maintain our faithfulness to our spouse and purity in our lives; He would protect us from believing the lies of the enemy about marriage; He would protect us from drifting apart from each other or drifting away from the Lord.
For Thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory forever, Amen.
There is some question whether or not this was part of the original Lord's prayer (see the margin or footnotes in your Bible at Matthew 6:13). It does remind us, however, of the greatness of God and of His glory. In this regard it takes us back to the beginning of the Lord's Prayer, reminding us of who God is and of the fact that His glory should be our greatest concern.
Do you want to pray well for your marriage? Let the Lord's Prayer guide you as you lift up your spouse and your marriage before the Lord.
© 2003 Christian Family Life
</FONT>