yana
01-29-2005, 11:09 AM
Back a few years ago, the group I was always with, everyone was an addict of some sort. We were all drunks and on top of that alot of them were heroin addicts, special K was big in the area too, and all of the other regular drugs were seen daily. Wether it was getting high in one way or another getting f***ed up was a daily way of life. You'd get a phone call once in awhile, so in so overdosed lastnight, but they're ok today and getting high again. New Years Day 1999, my roomates shot up and I noticed the one girl checking her pulse in her neck and she was nodding off. I went into the kitchen and when I came out, she was blue on the floor and her boyfriend and friend were just sitting on the couch. I was the one who asked them if she looked blue to them too, and that's when they got up. The boyfriend said don't call an ambulance, they had drugs in the house. We threw her in the cold shower and that didn't bring her back, we put her out in the snow, slapping her face and finally she slowly opened her eyes. She wondered why she was all cold and wet. She was lucky, and we were lucky she came out of her overdose alive. But she was using the next day like it was nothing. Another very close friend of mine died from an overdose about 4 yrs ago. This was the third time he overdosed and obviously this time no one was there to get him help. His friend came home and found him on the bathroom floor. He had used special K, taken acid, and shot up heroin. He was DEAD. I still remember the last day I had seen him, he told me he loved me and he didn't think I really understood that. I remember where he was sitting, what he was wearing, and the look in his eyes, just like it was yesterday. About 8 months before his death, he had a girlfriend who was also an addict and she threw herself in front of a car and was killed, this crushed him. He struggled to get clean, he got on the methadone program, but he would still use, it just didn't work. These are just a couple stories, there are many more I remember, many others I know who have overdosed, who have died from their addictions. It was hard watching my friends struggle with their addictions, but nothing could ever compare to what I went through with the man who has my heart. The last couple months before he got locked up was probably the toughest time in my life. That time was more stressful, more painful, so much worse than this whole time has been with him being behind the wall. Watching someone you love so dearly stick that needle in their arm, kills a part of you. I remember laying in bed one night fearing he was gonna die. His breathing and heartbeat was so slow, I just stayed there with him, watching over him, trying to wake him up, praying nothing would happen to him. I wanted him to get help but of course he didn't want it, he "liked" getting high. He became a totally different person than who I first met. This addiction was slowly killing him and tareing me apart. It almost broke us. He is now back to his old self again. I've stuck it through with him this whole time, something has just kept me there. I pray when he comes home he can stay strong and stay clean. He has my heart like no one has.