:thumbsup: it looked like this site needed a pick me up. no one has been in here with new things in a few days so i figure ill put something new in. my boyfriend is a violent offender and sometimes its really hard on me. He really isnt violent and the crimes that made him considered a violent person he never did. My boyfriend took the rap for his friends and he is so stupid for that. I know this to be true because i have known him my whole life. I LOVE HIM SO MUCH. it is so hard to justify that to people. They all say he doesnt look like your type. I dont care what they think but sometimes its so hard. especially since he went back because he proved everyone right after they all told me he would go back. i always said he wouldnt. hes such a great guy and it sucks so bad that he has to be dubbed this and we have to go through this. I guess he just needs some new direction. hes really trying to move into it but i am so afraid that he will come homne and fall into the same crap.i think its hereditary. his dad has been to prison and a brother that he just met after 30 years has been too. i just hope that he can pull out of this otherwise i will be forced to leave him and i dont want to.
does anyone ever do this? do you just try to put it all into perspective? tell yourself that everything will be ok and you just know that sometimes it wont be.
i am doing something positive, i am taking the opportunity to get closer to him on a different level. we write something new that we havent ever told eachother before in each letter. This way i can still feel like i am on a personal level with him even if i cannot be physically.
really what i am saying is i wanted to see something new in this room so all who can please reply..

tell yourself that everything will be ok and you just know that sometimes it wont be.

The universe is unfolding as it should. You will be ok.

Change is sometimes a hard thing but if he really wants to make it with you he will see that this is a dead end street and become the man that you love heredity does not put you in prison choices put you in prison and once we learn to make the right choices we learn to live in society. Society may not be perfect but we have to conform to make it and if you don't then your home will be there. We all know right from wrong when we choose to do wrong we choose to pay the price. Good luck I hope he knows how lucky he is to have you and that all works out for you both.

i know what you are saying i too am now married to a suppose to be violent offender but like you i have known him all my life and he to took the wrap ,for his daughters mother . he knew her parents would never let him have her sence he was married to his daughters mother s' sister who was now dead because of the sister ,so he just kept his mouth shut and went to prison he told me i just could not take my little girls mom from her ,jan did not know what she was doing . i love my little girl that much. so we all know there are some good men behind those walls , ihope you the best

I too know what its like to love a "VO"...especially since I know for a fact that he is NOT violent...charges are charges and they have to classify them how they do for some reason, but I know in my heart that Marc is no Violent Offender.....But what can you do??? I will stand behind and love my VO for the rest of my life.....
Good luck to all of you who love your VO...and to everyone who has a loved one in prison....
~Katie

My husband is considered a VO also. When they bring him back to this county from DOC they treat him like he is a serial killer (and, no, he didn't kill anyone). He is a big guy- 6'4" 230 pds. and he looks scary. They lock him down and won't let him around anyone. He said, "The only thing I might do is talk to somebody." It is hard to see him treated like this. I try very hard to help him remember he is a good man- a human, not some animal no matter how he is treated inside.

We, too, have used this time to strengthen our relatonship. I was just thinking about that the other day because we he was home I used to wonder if our relationship survived only because of the sex. Now I know that's not the case, so that's a good thing! :)