I just wanted to come by n say hi since I will be spending time in the NY forums. Im usually in the VA forums cuz my husband is incarcerated there. Im originally from NY n moved down to VA this past Sept. Anyhow, In late Oct, my nephew was arrested for murder. It was self defense but of course the system dont see it like that. Like that surprises me. My family tried to keep it from me for a while n did a pretty good job of it until I went back up to NY for xmas/new years. I was devastated. I did nothing but cry for him. He is young, just turning 22 in Feb n they r trying to give him life or even the death penalty. His lawyer is working hard to make that not happen. I really have been keeping it to myself and its killing me. I spoke to him for the first time yesterday and all i could do was listen to him while crying on the inside cuz he has it in his head that he will beat this rap n be out in a few months n keeps saying "aunt paula, dont worry, Im saving a dance for u at ashley's(his sister) sweet 16" thats in July. When i got off the phone, I cried my eyes out. That poor kid, thinking he is getting out when from what i heard from my brother that he will get a lot of time. My husband n him were very close on the outside since we r only 6 & 7yrs apart from my nephew. He has written my nephew, not directly as of yet. they r working on approving that cuz he is his uncle, but i sent the letter my husband sent to him thru my letters. He is trying to give him advice n all about being locked up. Only i dont think he is getting thru to him. I fear he is going to do something really stupid when he gets time. Stupid like, killing himself. He already told his father that he cant n wont do any time. I am so distraught over this. I dont know how to talk to him. I dont know what to say or do. I cant even o see him cuz riverhead county jail doesnt have weekend visits n thats the only time i can get there. I am starting a new job on monday n i wont be able to take vacation for at least 6 months. Im really dying here. Just when i thought i was handling my husbands incarceration well, this happens. I wont lie, I am not a strong person. I just feel so friggin helpless that the 2 most important guys in my r both locked up. Im sure my story is not unheard of to have more than one loved one in prison. I just dont know how to handle this. I thought i seen it all.....guess i didnt. Thanks for letting me vent!

I feel so bad you are going thru this. Is there a way you can get the chaplain to speak to your nephew in maybe realizing that he may have to do time. His lawyer needs to be honest with him. He needs guidance and support. I pray for you and your family. Reality has not suken in to him yet.. someone needs to get him to u nderstand that although it is self defense.. the system will not see it that way. Someone died and someone has to pay.. I feel bad for your nephew.. Call someone to help him quick before he does something as you say.

hang in there and pray...I wish y ou the best.

I am so sorry Bubbles, just hang in there.
You're in my prayers.

Welcome to PTO.

thanks girls.....im not new...i just stayed in the va forums n the boyfriends/husband forums...sorry mrs g....i wrote my first thread in the wrong forum...i can never figure out where to put these things!

Welcome to PTO!!