This has been on my mind all weekend, and I just need to vent and get this off my chest. Please bare with me. I dont know if your men's families are close . Or has the family kind of vanished for these men? C_'s family writes from time to time. He was very close with his brother and for some reason he has stopped writing right before christmas, He didnt understand why. so he gets this letter and he must be upset about it because he sent this letter to me. And i was upset after i read it. It was the most impersonal letter I ever saw. C_ is in the last stage of fight for his life, his last hearing was the 13th-and this moron, yup Im going to call him a moron because I am mad right now, he just wrote a letter telling him how he was trading his BMW in for the newest model :confused: :confused:

I doubt C really gives a hoot, he is sitting on death row, he may not even last a whole year and he is telling him how he cant decide on the newest model of the BMW or mercedes. Whatever.
And at the end of the letter he puts Oh by the way how did that hearing go??good luck, Love, Beep.

His brother scheduled a special visit last month and he knew I wanted to come down, but I told C I will wait next month, he needed that visit with his brother to straighten things out, what does beep do?? never shows up. Not only upsets C but me because I could of went!!!!!!!! and to have his hopes up for a visit and do this???
I dont understand people i really dont. Thank you for letting me vent!!!

I understand how you feel,Richie's family are worse,if that is possible.
He has 4 sister's and an aunt,plus an ex-wife and 3 son's.
His sister's write once in a blue moon and by that I mean maybe twice a year.They promise to send money,it never arrives,but they tell him all about what they spent a lot of money on,then give him numbers to call them,then they either refuse his call,or put a block on the phone before he can call.
His aunt told me to stop sending money to him because she has been sending him $50 a month for the last year,turn's out,she has sent him $50 twice in all his years on the row.
He had a hearing a few months ago,(he was re-sentenced to death),I spent day's persuading them to go to his hearing and they left a couple of hours before the verdict was read,they never even said goodbye.
The reason for leaving early?They wanted to go shopping!

His ex-mother in law is kind enough to bring his kid's to visit him maybe 3 times a year,but last time he was so excited,he sat there waiting all day,they never showed,5 day's later when he finally get's them on the phone,they said someone scratched the car and they wanted to get it sorted out instead.

I don't mind being the one picking up the pieces because I know he only goes through all of this for the scraps of affection they toss his way from time to time,but it is eating away at him now,I can see such a difference in him over the past year or so,he is changing and it is all due to the way he is treated by his family.

His aunt told me that she and his sister's don't believe he is innocent,even though everything points in that direction,these people both amaze and disgust me at the same time,i wish they would either support him,or disappear totally.

That is truely sad....that poor man.

This almost makes me cry, thinking about him sitting there waiting for his visit, thatis os awful.

It is sad, and the worse he never knew why his brother did not show up, he never bothered to give a reason.

The guys who are locked up are alone so much with their thoughts, can't keep busy like us on the outside, it just makes me so sad and angry when family or friends promise things and then don't deliver. I know they so look forward to visits and letters. My husband's best friends of nearly 20 years keep promising to visit him, but never have. They keep promising to write but that has dropped off. And like with C, no explanation. so when I sit and think about my husband or C sitting there alone and lonely waiting for a visit or a letter that never comes, I just want to cry-- why don't these well-meaning family members and friends realize how hard these dissapointments can be for our guys!

I think its sad to. Also, because they are so close with us, they tend to vent alot more to us to, about things with family and friends. I guess people get caught up in their own lives and dont really understand whats going on. I had an argument with my man this month, over something petty, and then the holiday and the mail is delayed. I called a lady that visits with him regularly, all worried, and said, I said some things in a letter, I shouldnt of. She explained it well, as she is a minister, that spends countless hours visiting men on death row. She explained, that they are in a cell 23 hours a day, and things end up "amplified". I am not saying that it is wrong to go on about an extravegant life to a person that is locked up in a cell 23 hours a day, but we talk about general things, as what is going on, thinking we are doing them a favor, and finding out that we have just hurt them. Dana, I can also understand you being upset, as you feel deep for C, and you can understand and relate with him, and you actually got to read the letter.
The visits I cant understand, Dana, if his brother cancelled a visit, he should of told C, and not left him hanging on like that. That would hurt. I said things similiar to this early last year, and someone said to me, well at least they get visits to worry about. They that sounds harsh,but it made me start thinking, this is true, as there are many on death row that have no one to vent to, or visit with. Please dont take that the wrong way though, as I understand where you are coming from, you care about him, could of been there, and that opportunity passed when his brother stepped in and never showed.

I agree Kyla. C_ is only one person on the row, I can just imagine that there are so many others there that are forgotten and have no visits. It is so sad. And to have visits between the glass is even more upsetting, they get absolutley no human contact, no hugs, nothing. It has to be such a lonely world, and I just pray that I am making a difference with just my letters, because thats all I can do at this point, and make sure he has the neccessities he needs.

One of my penpals hadn't had a visit in 10 years when he finally got one from his friend who's an advocate of inmates. My other penpal is getting a special visit from his sister the first week of February. It's been a long time since he's had a visit. I applied to visit him also, but haven't heard back yet from him whether I was approved or not.
It is truly sad to see some of these guys on the Row who don't get visits from family or friends, they drop off after a couple years. It really blows my mind.

I know people get caught up in their own lives, I know visiting a prison is not fun, but boy I really feel for these guys and have to admit I have trouble feeling sympathy for those who "drift away". I can't imagine what it would be like if your only "human contact" was when someone shckled you or hand cuffed you. Wonder if they do that so that by the time the execution date comes around, they hope no one will fight to live since they have been so removed from human contact and touch for so long.
I do have question about the others though who do not have pen pals, do most of them advertise somewhere, or how can we find out about them?
Thanks, Sue

I am so sorry to hear his family has let him down. I happen to be the only one who visits my fiance. His family has never visited him the entire time he has been in . His Mom accepts phone calls from time to time but thats the only real involvement anyone in his family has with him. It breaks my heart because I can see and hear the hurt in his voice when he talks about his family. I have talked with his Mom and she comes up with all these excuses on why she can't visit him but she is quick to drop everything and drive half way across the state if one of her other children need her. I try to be openminded about it but I know this hurts him and when he hurts ,I hurt.

Sue there are many sites who advertise for DR inmates, I dont think I can list them here but I will PM you. :)