SO MANY KIND PEOPLE FROM PTO HAVE ASK ME IN THE PAST 90 PLUS DAYS HOW STEPHANIE AND I ARE DOING. WE ARE NOT, AND HAVENT FOR A LONG TIME, ITS JUST IN THE PAST 90 DAYS OR SO THAT I HAVE REALIZED THIS.ITS NOT HER FAULT,NOR IS IT MINE.I HAVE HAD ALOT TO THINK ON ABOUT STEPHANIE AND MYSELF LATELY.DO I STILL LOVE STEPHANIE? YES, AND I BELIEVE I WILL FOREVER.CAN I LOVE STEPHANIE AND REMAIN WITHOUT HER?YES, I KNOW I CAN DO THIS ALSO.HAS IT HURT AND DOES IT STILL? MY GOD,AT TIMES IT HURT SO BAD I COULDNT STAND IT, AND IF I THINK TO LONG ON IT EVEN TODAY IT HURTS, A REAL PHYSICAL HURT INSIDE.I WISH HER THE BEST,WILL DO ALL I CAN FOR HER AS LONG AS I STAY AWAY FROM BEING CODEPENDANT TO HER.I WANT TO REMAIN A PART OF PTO,AS TO WHAT PART I DONT KNOW.THERE IS A MEMBER OF PTO THAT HAS HELPED ME THROUGH SOME OF THIS PAIN,A MEMBER THAT KNOWS MORE OF PAIN THAT ANYONE I KNOW OF.I PRAY THAT SOMEDAY I HAVE THE SOUL,THE HEART,THE COMPASSION THAT THIS FRIEND I HAVE MADE HERE IN PTO HAS.IS THIS PTO FRIEND A WOMAN,YES, A TRUE LADY.IS SHE THE REASON STEPHANIE AND I ARE NOT TOGETHER ANYMORE,NOT A CHANCE.DO I STILL BELIEVE IN LOVE, IN FOREVER, IN ROMANCE, IN THE FAIRYTALE,YOU BET!!!!!!!!!!! WILL I EVER REALLY FIND THAT ONE IN A BILLION WOMAN,I DONT KNOW TO BE HONEST.WILL I EVER SETTLE FOR ANYTHING ELSE,NEVER.PLEASE DONT WRITE AND TELL ME YOU ARE SORRY FOR WHAT HAS HAPPENED BETWEEN STEPHANIE AND MYSELF.........I FEEL AN INNER PEACE THAT I HAVE NEVER FELT BEFORE. STEVE ATCHLEY

Well shit, if I can't say sorry, what else can I say? Hmmm, want me to crop her out of that picture in yer avatar? :D Just kiddin... it's sad when anything specail comes to an end, but it happens. We pick ourselves up, curse and cry, and we go on with life. All the best to you both Steve.

Dear Steve,
so what you are telling us is you basically ratted her out to the cops (from your past posts) and now you are bailing on her because of what? You didn't find love elsewhere? What type of bullshit is that? i am sure i will upset a few here with the tone of this reply but it pisses me off to read this. i dont do a lot of posting here but i try and keep up with the community.
you came here a number of months ago about how you felt oh-s0-bad for ratting her out to the cops and now you are telling us a new line. well, i think your conscience is talking between the lines. i think you need to get yourself in order. i hope you are not causing this girl any more grief, or whome ever it is here at pto who has been your blanket of support.
you claimed to love stephanie but you sure are forgetting the important parts fast.
luke

best of wishes to you Steve

Cindy

Luke,
I usually don't get involved in alot of things that are said negative in posts, but this one has upset me. Steve has posted his thoughts to his situation, it is not for us to come down on him, nor to pass judgement. You don't know the whole story so why pretend you do?

My heart goes out to you, I know this has been a hard decision for you. Lucid I agree totally with what you say. We don't know the whole story and have no right to condeme anyone.

softie

Steve one more thing, Please stay with PTO you have become part of the family. And we value you insite and wisdom.

softie

Luke we at PTO are here to support everyone, not to condeme. The words you have spoken to Steve also upset me, because you do not know the whole story. And like I said we are all here to love and support each other.
Every one of us here has had decisions to make and I am sure not everyone agrees with them. But like a family we support the members not condeme them.

softie

Steve,

Your life and your decisions and choices are your own. I respect your decisions because from what I have always seen in your posts you are level headed.

I do hope that you will remain part of the PTO community because the wisdom that you have is appreciated here.

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

I RARELY like to suggest to people that they are wrong, or out of line, but in this case I MUST!

First, we KNOW Steve, and I don't for a moment think that his decision was made as lightly or as selfishly as you are suggesting.

Second, as a moderator, I am sometimes in a position of trust to know some deep personal pain of some of the members lives. And in Steve's case, I DO!!!

Third, people don't post every detail of their traumas on this site. So I never assume that we know the whole story.

Fourth, even if someone is choosing to do something "wrong" or "cruel" as you are suggesting Steve is, they don't usually blurt it out in public like this. Many members here have had to, for various reasons, make such a decision. We DO NOT write their lifestory, for them. We trust and respect them to make the right decisions.

Fifth, as someone has already pointed out, this site is about support not condemnation.

I could say more, but that will suffice for now.

Menolly

If NO ONE ELSE DOES, I FULLY UNDERSTAND!

Since the day you got here, I have known and watched your struggle! You have always deeply impressed me with your desire to do the right thing, even when that was an onerous responsibility, WAY BEYOND what most people could endure.

I stand firm beside you, and support what you have HAD TO DO!

All My Love,
Menolly

Well Luke looks like you screwed this up. That usually happens when you shoot your mouth of about something you know nothing about. I do know many things that Steve is to much of a gentleman to post. I know Steve is not going to like to here this, but I told him to dump the Broad, & I am more than happy he's doing it. As for him so called ratting her off, lets see which one you would choose, a few years in Prison, or the rest of your life in prison. It's real easy to run your mouth about something you know nothing about I guess. I don't do it because it always makes me look stupid like you look right now.

Good Grief Luke, I norammly dont butt in with PTO and the modertors telling you a thing or two, but i must t his time,
We dont judge people here, and you have no idea what the real facts are with steve, we support people here, not condem them, those were hurtful words. Be nice would ya.

Steve,
I surly understand your pain. It is never easy losing someone that you love, not matter how it ends. Even when we do the right thing, it still hurts. Please don’t leave PTO. We are here for you.

Lulu:

I saw Steve log on about half an hour ago, read this, and now he is gone! But I sent him a private message, which he read before he left!

Luke, if you are out there, YOU NEED TO APOLOGIZE to this man!!! You've NO IDEA what kind of hurt he has gone through, and for you to have added to it...

Menolly!!

Something I learned many years ago....
DO NOT JUDGE SOMEONE UNTIL YOU HAVE WALKED A MILE IN THEIR SHOES.
You can take 10 people and all 10 will react differently to the same situation, and none of them will be wrong.
Steve, I admire your honesty, not only with us but also with yourself. Sometimes it is harder to be honest within our own hearts than with anyone else. I wish you the best of everything and hope that you stay here with us. You have become family and we truly care about you.
Take Care!! CJ

Oh man, see that is bull. I was afraid that was going to happen. People come on all types of forums and ready to Condemn someone with out knowing facts. That really upsets me.

I agree, Luke you really need to say your sorry to this man. You have to remember, we dont know all the facts just as Menolly said.

Menolly, is steve ok?

Originally posted by Kconnor56
but I told him to dump the B***h, & I am more than happy he's doing it.

Although I don't know the whole story behind Steve's situation, I wish him and his kids all the best. The life we live is a difficult one, and no one really knows what goes on behind closed doors.

That being said, I have a request for Ken. Please consider refraining from using the "B" word in reference to a woman....ANY woman. It is the ultimate in disrespect, even if it IS accurate.

You seem like too nice a guy for such vulgarity.

Thanks,
Susan in Providence

Lulu:

We don't know if he is o.k. He didn't reply to my pm. He just read it and logged off.

Menolly

Steve,

Codependence is never a relationship. It becomes a sick, twisted shell of a union, where both people wind up miserable. I don't have to tell you this - I, too, have been there. Congratulations for breaking free of an unhealthy relationship. All the best to you and the kids.

By the way, Steve - you are wanted and needed here. Never, ever forget or doubt that.

I woke up this morning thinking about your post Luke and I am still upset. Steve is a wonderful caring and loving man and you have not a clue as to what he has been through or is still going through. He does not have a mean bone in his body he is a wonderful caring man and a wonderful Father. You were right when you said your post would upset us. It surely has and you have nor right to say the things you have to Steve.
If this is the way you treat people, then I am happy you don't post much.
I don't get angry much, but you surely have truly succeeded in really making me angry by your words.
I am proud and honored to be able to call a man such as Steve a friend of mine.
I have so much more I could and want to say, but I am afraid it would have to be deleted.

softie
Proud to call Steve my friend.

Well, If any one knows is number, maybe it is a good idea to give him a call? I am worried about him.

Steve, if you read this, please dont let the likes of Luke get to you. Your real freinds are here and care about you and will support you no matter that you decide.

Susan,
Ken did not mean any harm by his remark. He was venting his words to one person. He meant no harm about it.

Steve, I have watched you from the day you came to PTO through every thing. You are a man with courage and integrity and you care very much for her.

I also understand about having to step back and look at the real picture and some decisions are very hard to make. I have also learned that the hardest decision to make is to make the decision itself. Once that is done, yes there is an overwhelming relief.

You took on a lot, you have now come to a decision that NO ONE has a right to say is right or wrong, but you. If this is what you feel is right, then you have my, and I KNOW many other's, support.

There will still be a lot for you to work through so please stick around for we are all here to help you through everything.

Joy

Steve, while I know the decision was hard to make I can feel the turmoil you must of gone through to reach it. Yet I can also feel your at peace with it which is so wonderful Steve. I don't know you as well as some on here but I do appreciate the things that you share when you post. And as far as that Luke person as a suggestion even though it might be hard it helps me is do not allow his opinion to become your reality. And what others have said to you Luke take a look at it you might learn that we at PTO aren't the judging type of folks that you might be used to being around or seeing. Steve, please stay with us in spite of his post to you!!!! I m sending you lots of prayers to get back on PTO soon!!!!!

cherrie from tx

Steve, I know you have your childrens best at heart. I trust you will make the right decision. I know you must feel like you were kicked in the gut when you read the post by Luke. He probably comes from an old hard core back ground where they don't "rat" on anyone. I am not making excuses, but knowing where someone is coming from helps to understand their views on issues. Try to understand that his opion is his own and it is bassed on limited knowledge of your situation. God bless.

Steve... I am so sorry you were judged by this one person- don't let it get to you, as the rest of us seem to know that you had your reason. You are raising the kids- and you can only make them happy if you are yourself. Trust me... I KNOW how hard this must have been.

Susan... I think you were overreacting on this one. Maybe 'female dog' would fit some woman's description better, and I for myself would never feel insulted as a woman- what on earth is soooo bad about broad? We use words as "s.o.b.",'jerk','bastard', etc. - us woman are so much in the advantage with negative words for men. Broad is nothing to feel insulted for.


Tanya

Lucrisid,

Kenny read Susan's reply, and HE decided to change it to "broad". (He's had kind of a rough week.)

He WAS "guilty as charged", and had his Irish up, WAY UP, because of what Luke said to Steve. But he calmed down, and edited it...

Nice that you worry though... But then again, that's what this site is about, right? Worrying for each other?

All My Love,
Menolly

Originally posted by Lucrisid
Susan... I think you were overreacting on this one....what on earth is soooo bad about broad? Broad is nothing to feel insulted for.
Tanya

Ken's post was later modified...the original word he used was "bitch". I have no objection to the word "broad" at all.

In light of Ken's Hep C diagnosis, I can fully understand that his emotions may have been running high when he wrote that post....and that's ok; no harm done.

I have always hated the "B" word.....just my opinion.

Susan in Providence

Oopsie... :)

Yeah, Lucrisid,

Susan, Ken and I were all talking when this happened. There's no offence at all, except maybe from Steve. But, I think Steve loves us; we'll be forgiven.

So, we'll all four of us (Susan, Ken, Me, and Steve) will hug YOU, Babygirl, and tell YOU we love YOU!

All My Love,
Menolly

Steve, I can say I can understand to a point, since I'm not walking in your shoes. But past experiences tells me a few things.

One thing to consider is sometimes, things we thought we have handled, raise's it's ugly head again at some later time and changes every thought perspective.

Sometimes, things are not handle completely at first, for fear of the outcome. When one loves/cares deeply, that fear is great, until a times comes to revisit the situation.

It is at this time, that there is more that has been evaluated, more understanding has been obtained, that things can be handled so life can go on.

You said that you have found relief, my friend, that is healthy and things will be much easier to handle now. Just don't block any further developements in life, from this perspective, is all I can say.

Steve, You and I came to PTO around the same time and I too, have learned alot from you. Only YOU know the truth about yours and Stephanies relationship and what you feel. I respect your honesty and ability to post your feelings and what your going through here at PTO. You know that we are here for you and the one or two who speak, without true understanding, have no relevance to what you are saying. As for staying at PTO, of course you will!!! Steve, I have not posted this in any open forum here, but you have been supportive of my relationship with Vic in the past and I will tell you now, that I am no longer in communication with him. It doesn't matter the reasons or the 'why's'...nobody needs to know that, except me. I believe that you will always have a special love for Stephanie and I have no doubt you will continue to support her the best you can, but you also need to do what you can for you. I think you've started that and I just offer words of encouragement to stay strong and know we're here and we love you!


Pammie

hi steve...sorry so late to this...i wish you and your kids all the best; i trust your own judgement of what is right for you; what others thing is of no consequence. you have love and support here; you have a good head on your shoulders. people will always have opinions; you will always have your integrity and much friendship at pto.

all the best,
emme

Steve-Best wishes for you and your children. I do not know enough about the situation iteself between you and Stephanie to comment on it, but I want you to know that you have my support and respect for making a difficult decision that you felt was the best one for you and your children.

As for PTO, you are a member of our family and always will be.

Dearest Steve


No one knows except for you what is best for you and your Children.... Sometimes we stay in situations much longer than is healthy for us before we decide to get out.

May the Good Lord Bless and Keep you. I wish you all the happiness that you can possibly have.... I am sure that Stephanie understands your decision too. I hope that you will stay with us Steve because you have been a very valuable member of PTO. I have seen some major insite in your Posts that has helped me bunches.

My love and Prayers are with you....

Sincerely

Donna

Steve....
I came to know you and your kind heart from when you first came to PTO.
Just know you have another friend here who supports you in WHATEVER path you choose to follow in your life.... at this turning point or the next....
:)

Thank you everybody.Isnt PTO great????????You can log on when you are feeling lonely,when you are sad, bored, just want to vent etc.,and always feel better after you do. Steve

Hi, I am so glad to see you here. Did you close your eyes and just start typing? LOL

Steve,

I too am glad to see you here. Decisions such as this are very, very, difficult to make, but once made, though there will be sadness there is also some peace. Only you know what is right for your children and you, don't listen to others who know nothing of your situations.

God Bless you and yours,

Steve,

Sorry I am late in posting this and I for one have no idea what you have gone through, only what you have written and what I have read. Making the decision you made had to have been one of the toughest ever. I can only imagine how tough. but I too have had to make decisions for myself as well even if it was not the most popular choice or that it harmed another...intentions are not to inflict pain that happens in it's own. Ive had to act on the best interest for myself and my kids too....and it may hurt of course it does!!!!!! but i do not question for one minute if you made informed choices...I know you did, nor did you act impulsively!! You did what you had to do for YOU and your kids..and I commend you for that.

Sunnie

Dear Steve,

I hope this is not to late for you to read, as I have not heard from you lately. I am sorry I wasn't here when you made your post. Due to my foot surgery I got behind in logging on.

I will say this much. You were one of the first people I talktd to when I became a member, and you opened your ears to me. I, hopefully, opened my ears to you. You are a man of the greatest integrity, and the decision that you had to make was probably by far the hardest one you had to make in a long time, if not in your whole life.

I hope you continue to stay with all of us here, and contimue to be my friend. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Debbie

steve i feel your pain.my girl friend is in a federal prisionand.she has been in for 11 mon. i love her very much too.And i except her calls,send her money,go visit her when i can.Im there for her and i plan on being here for her when she gets out.But i still date other women.so i know its hard to do right by someone in jail.what im trying to tell you is i wish you and your kids the best and i hope you made the right choice.love is hard to let go.And when she get out you might feel diffrent.some times it seems like what ever we do we still loose.Good luck Blaine